I Love You, My Neighbour: Chapter 20
So let's dance
Kristy
Slapping Logan doesn't prevent tears from welling up or stop my body from shaking as I replay his hurtful words over and over again. Blinded by the haze of unshed tears, I stumble towards the club's carpark.
How could he say something so cruel? I believed we were friends. I thought he cared about me, even just a little. Last night, I trusted him enough to share my insecurities, and in return, he judged me and labelled me as desperate for attention from his friends. He thinks I'm the type of person who would take advantage of them and manipulate them to boost my self-esteem.
He doesn't know me at all. He has no respect for me. So I'm done. Done with Logan. Done with our friendship. And once our lease ends, I'm done with my neighbourhood too. I don't need to be around someone who makes me feel worse about myself than I already do. Being near him only highlights all the things I lack.
Why did I ever allow him to get close to me in the first place? I knew it would lead to heartache. I just didn't realize it would hurt this much, especially when we aren't even involved romantically.
"Kristy! Kristy, wait!" he yells.
I ignore the hand on my arm and try to keep moving, but he's too strong. No matter how hard I tug, he refuses to let me go.
"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. Please don't go."
I refuse to be swayed by the desperation in his voice. I won't let him off the hook.
Tonight has shown me a glimpse of what being friends with Logan will entail if I don't put an end to it. Seeing him with other women hurt more than it should have. He already holds too much power over my emotions. And I'm falling for him. I can feel myself getting tangled in feelings that are too deep, and I can't bear the thought of loving another man who will readily discard me when something better comes along.
I spin around to face him. "I don't know why I ever thought we could be friends. It was... a monumental mistake on my part."
"Don't say that. Please don't say that. Being friends isn't wrong. It's right. It's one of the only right things in my life."
"I don't want you to come to the café anymore. I don't want to see you. This friendship is over."
Only then do I realize my tears are finally streaming down my face, clearing my vision enough to see the regret and remorse in his eyes.
But I won't be swayed.
"You don't understand. I told Adam you were off-limits. He wasn't supposed to dance with you. I told all the guys you were off-limits."
I stare at him, confusion etched on my face. "Why would you do that? Why?"
"Because! Because our friendship is important to me, and I thought it would get messed up if you started dating one of them."
I refuse to be swayed. I don't want to feel anything. But doubt about ending our friendship begins to creep in. If our friendship means enough to him that he would warn his friends off, it does say something. But is it enough?
"You're insane," I say. "You didn't have to warn them. They have zero interest in me."
"You have no idea. You don't see the way Adam looks at you."
"He doesn't look at me in any special way, Logan! He just wanted to dance tonight. And so did I."
"He's always flirting with you. When I saw the way you were dancing with him..."
"You thought I was leading him on to boost my self-esteem? What does that say about how you think of me?"
"I didn't mean what I said. Please, can't you forgive me for saying something so stupid?"
My resolve wavers, and my anger subsides, but I'm still unsure if continuing our friendship will be worth it or easy. Not when my feelings for him deepen with each passing day, and not now that I've witnessed his readiness to hook up with other women.
He's going to break me, and I've already been broken. Twice. Should I really stand by and allow it to happen again? Especially when I'm already getting too attached? It would be wiser to end it now, before my heart shatters beyond repair.
"I'm sorry, Logan. I just don't think this friendship is... a good idea for me anymore."
Logan's eyes widen, his mouth drops open, and his complexion turns pale as if I had struck him. His hands clench into fists, as if bracing himself against an onslaught. My heart aches at the sight of him, begging me to take back my words.
"Please, don't punish me for one stupid mistake."
I shake my head. "I'm not trying to punish you, and this isn't just about tonight."
"I don't understand."
"You don't have to. I just want to leave. Please let me go now."
"I won't let you walk out alone. It's dangerous."
"Then I'll ask Adam or Kyle to walk me out, since I'm sure you want to get back to your blonde."
He narrows his gaze, picking up on the bitterness and jealousy evident in my voice – emotions I had forgotten to conceal in my haste to escape. Understanding fills his eyes.
I turn around, ready to make my exit before he confronts me, but he grabs my wrist, stopping me from moving away.
"Are you more upset by what I said or the fact that I've been dancing with other women?" he asks, pulling me back into place.
“Of course I’m upset by what you said!” Swallowing hard and avoiding his gaze. "Why would I care if you dance with other women?"
"You tell me. You're the one who sat there watching me dance for the past hour straight."
My eyes lock with his. He knows I'm interested in him. He knew I had been watching him. He knew I wanted to dance with him. The fact that it hadn't convinced him to dance with me says it all, doesn't it?
"That would be ridiculous since you've made it abundantly clear you came here to pick up, and I'm nothing like the women you've been eyeing."
"The only reason I didn't dance with you tonight is because we were friends. Neighbours."
We were.
My heart clenches at his use of the past tense for our friendship, but ending it was my choice. I can't be upset that he hasn't fought harder to keep it. Just because he has become the person I spend the most time with – a friend I'm falling for – doesn't mean anything to him. And I'm friends with Kyle and Adam, and they danced with me. So, friendship doesn't really factor into it, does it?
"Do you really expect me to believe that was the reason we never danced?"
"I've been keeping my distance for both our sakes. But now there's no reason not to, is there? You wanted to dance, so let's dance."
My heart leaps at the thought. I had been waiting for this moment all night, but now I don't want it anymore.
Okay, who am I kidding? I still totally do. But I can't dance with him after everything that has just happened – not when my heart feels trampled and bruised.
"Logan, I don't-"
"Just one dance."
He reaches out and pulls me towards him, pressing me against his body. His gaze locks onto mine as his hands settle on my hips, leaving me speechless. He looks down at me as he had with the other women on the dance floor, sending my heart into a frenzy and my knees weakening.
Finally. Finally, I am in his arms.
Unprepared for the surge of emotions and longing that realization brings, I place my hands on his chest and attempt to push away, but he only allows me to take one step before wrapping one arm around my waist and pulling me back to him. I gasp as our bodies collide, and suddenly I find myself clutching his arms, holding onto his strong biceps, and trying to steady myself. I haven't consumed any alcohol, but my legs feel shaky nonetheless.
Logan starts moving to the music, and even though I know it's a bad idea – and even though I am so unsteady on my feet – I can't resist matching his movements. This is the closest I've ever been to him, and my body refuses to miss out on a single moment of contact with his.
Stupid, traitorous body.
The playful and fun song that was playing begins to fade, and the DJ switches to a more intense dance track with a heavy bass and beat. It is accompanied by explicit sounds of passionate sex, moans, gasps, and pleasurable noises filling the air.
Combined with the sensation of Logan's hands on me, his intense gaze locked with mine, his enticing scent enveloping me, and his body pressed against mine, I am completely consumed by the moment.
His hands glide along my body, sending shivers through me. As they brush along the undersides of my breasts, a pleasurable heaviness settles within them, causing my nipples to harden and a pool of liquid heat to form at my core. It creates an ache and a desperate longing that consumes me.
Just when I feel like I can't take any more of his sensual touch, his hands trail up my arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. His mouth hovers just inches from mine, and my eyes remain fixed on his lips, waiting and hoping for him to bridge the gap between us.
Lost in the focus on his mouth, I'm caught off guard when he spins me around, pressing my back against him.
Adam and I were in the same position just moments ago, but dancing like this with Logan feels infinitely more dangerous and seductive. Our bodies meld together, moving as one. There isn't an inch of space between us.
His left hand rests on my hip while his right hand gently brushes aside my hair, exposing my neck.
I feel the warmth of his lips as they trail along the junction of my shoulder and neck, while his left hand glides up my side, over my right breast, and teases my tingling nipple. A wave of pleasure surges through me, causing a few contractions. If he continues, I'm afraid I might have an orgasm right here on the dance floor. In fact, if his arm wasn't securely around my waist, I'm certain I would collapse.
He showers open-mouthed kisses on my neck, eliciting needy whimpers from me. I can feel his growing hardness against my back, and I instinctively push back against him, yearning for more as the ache between my thighs intensifies.
In response, he turns me around to face him once again, our bodies pressed tightly together, both of us breathing heavily.
As I meet his fiery gaze, I finally understand what he has been trying to convey. I had thought he didn't want to dance with me because he lacked attraction, but that wasn't the case. The reason we didn't dance earlier was because he does feel drawn to me. I have recklessly discarded our friendship tonight, and what awaits me in return is something I'm uncertain if I can handle.