I Love You, My Neighbour: Chapter 29
Every guy I've been with has dumped me for her
Logan
My heart pounds with residual adrenaline as Kristy and I lay entwined, coming down from the exhilarating high of our lovemaking. I could attribute this insatiable need for her to my long period of celibacy, but that would be a falsehood. It's her. It's us. With her, I feel invincible. Every time her eyes meet mine, filled with unspoken love for me, I feel untouchable, as if nothing harmful can reach me.
Discovering her love for me was a shock. I was oblivious to the depth of her feelings until she confessed to Dream Logan, as she affectionately dubbed me, thinking it was all a dream. Had she not slipped up, her feelings would have remained concealed, and for that, I'm grateful. Now that I'm privy to her love, the fact that it doesn't frighten me is a revelation.
She's unaware that I know, and it torments me to withhold the truth – even if it's by omission. But I don't want her to suspect that her confession has swayed my decision about us. I don't want it looming over us, casting doubt when I had already decided to maintain the status quo. More importantly, I need time to discern if I can fall for her as she has for me.
The prospect is daunting. Ever since Izzy's demise, I've painstakingly managed my emotions, allowing nothing potentially damaging in and keeping the good, the once cherished feelings, contained. But things are different now. Kristy is both the cause and the reason for celebration. She tempts me to lower my defences, to explore what could be if I surrendered completely to my feelings for her. I can't help but wonder, would I sink or swim? Could I endure the pain of losing love once again if I allowed myself to find it?
I roll away from Kristy, drawing her along so that she faces me. Her hair, now grown longer, sprawls everywhere, casting her in an ethereal glow – an angel that has been thoroughly loved, with her lips slightly bruised and her cheeks flushed from the afterglow. She's been working hard to shed the extra weight, and while I've always found her perfect, her body has begun to look noticeably more sculpted. I can't help but run my hands over her, relishing the goosebumps that rise under my touch. The soft moan and shudder that escape her when I brush my thumb over her nipple send a rush of heat straight to my groin.
“Stop it,” she murmurs in a low, throaty voice, her eyes smouldering as they meet mine. “Jess will think you've kidnapped me if I don't get home soon. I was only supposed to be gone five minutes.”
She's been here for nearly an hour. Judging by the conspiratorial wink Jess shared with Kristy when they parted, I doubt there will be any issues. But I know I need to release Kristy soon. However, there's a lingering question I need to pose.
“Believe it or not, I did invite you in to chat for a bit.”
Kristy immediately tenses at my words.
“Nothing serious,” I reassure her quickly. “I was just curious about what happened with Jess’s fiancé before you came here.”
When Kristy showed up on my doorstep earlier today, I could tell something was off. That nagging suspicion solidified when I saw the same troubled look on her face as we spoke to Jess. I'm itching to uncover the source of her distress. The idea that this Alfie character might be the cause irks me. Alfie, really? What's he doing sniffing around Kristy while planning to marry her best friend? If he's the reason behind Kristy's upset, I won't hesitate to intervene. I'm ready to step in whenever Kristy needs me.
"Nothing much really happened," Kristy deflects. "As Jess mentioned, he's somewhat overly friendly. I'm not accustomed to guys flirting quite like he does."
Fury ripples through me, and Kristy must sense the brewing storm because she hastens to say, "It was nothing, really."
"Tell me about his flirting. I want to give a second opinion."
"Logan-"
"Please, just indulge me, alright? When you turned up today, something seemed amiss, and I need to know exactly what transpired."
There it is again – that same distressed look. Except now, being so close, I see the torment in her expression.
I swallow hard. Could her distress be tied to Jess's fiancé? What could he have possibly said in such a short time to inflict such pain? Unless the source of her discomfort isn't Jess's fiancé at all. Could it be me? But she seemed perfectly content when she left my house this morning. Everything had been okay. Our passionate hour in bed should have confirmed that. I can't get enough of her. I've been open about our relationship to everyone, and I crave her company, whether here or at her place, or anywhere else for that matter. She knows this because I've told her. So, Jess's fiancé must be the culprit.
Kristy sighs. "Honestly, I wasn’t aware Jess was here when I entered the house. I thought the person coming out of the bathroom was her."
"But it was Alfie?"
"Yes, and he was just... He greeted me, kissed my hand, quite charmingly actually. It was just the way he looked at me, I suppose."
"And how did he look at you?"
"I’m likely just overthinking. I probably imagined it."
"But if you didn't imagine it, how would you describe the way he looked at you?"
"Like he wanted to... to devour me? Possibly." She shrugs. "I don't know."
Fury bubbles in my gut. I've never even met the guy, and already I despise him.
"What else did he say?" I need to know it all.
“Not much else. He asked if his partial nudity embarrassed me, which of course, it did, and when I admitted I wasn’t accustomed to Jess’s boyfriends wandering around half-dressed, he turned possessive and asked if Jess had a lot of boyfriends.”
“And that was the extent of your exchange?”
“Pretty much. I spent most of the time trying to figure out where Jess was.”
“He didn’t utter anything else that put you ill at ease?”
She shrugs. “He mentioned Jess hadn’t informed him how attractive I was, but I'm sure it was just a pick-up line.”
At that, my simmering rage explodes. “It wasn’t simply a pick-up line. He was blatantly hitting on you.”
“Logan, the man’s a model. He spends his days surrounded by stunning models. He’s set to marry a model. And me? I'm no model. Trust me, it was just a line.”
The guy was seriously flirting with her, and she's refusing to acknowledge it, refusing to believe it could be true!
"Model or not, you are freaking gorgeous. You never give yourself enough credit or see yourself clearly. You're stuck with this unfounded belief that you're not as beautiful as your best friend when-"
"Don't call it unfounded, Logan! I know I'm not as beautiful, and it's just absurd for you to suggest otherwise! Every guy I've been with has dumped me for her, and you probably will too!"
"Whoa!" I exclaim.
What. The. Fuck.
She sits up, breathing heavily, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm leaving."
"Like hell you are. What do you mean every guy you've been with has dumped you for her?"
"I'm done talking about this. I want to go home."
There's no way I'm letting her walk out that door. I have a feeling we've just hit the core of Kristy's insecurities, and I want to get to the bottom of it so I can sort this out. Because a sick feeling has already lodged itself in my gut. It wasn't Alfie who put that look on her face. She was upset because Jess was here, and she thought I was going to start looking at her best friend the way her exes did. It all makes so much sense - her jealousy when it comes to Jess, the way she snapped at me for looking at Jess's photo - her utter disbelief that anyone could truly be interested in her when her best friend is around.
"Kristy-"
"Logan, I'm done," she cries, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I'm done with all of this. With us too. I don't want to be with you anymore."
Like heck she doesn't. She is in love with me but is frantically trying to escape, afraid I'll end up like the people before me. But I refuse to let her go.
I hold her tightly. "I'm not going to dump you for her. I swear to God I'm not."
"You say that now, but you don't know."
It's nonsense, but she hasn't reached that conclusion without some influence from her past exes. "Tell me about them. Tell me about these guys who dumped you for Jess."
She stops crying and starts hiccupping, looking up at me. "Come on," I encourage her. "You've already gotten the worst part out of the way. Now just keep going. I want to know."
"Why?"
"Why? So, I can prove to you that I'm nothing like them."
She shakes her head, but when she sees the determination on my face, she blows out a breath and starts telling me about the men in her past.
I've wondered before why Kristy doesn't date – why she never seems interested in anything other than work and helping me out, why she never pays attention to my friends when they flirt with her. Finally, she's giving me the answers I've been looking for. Now I just have to figure out what I should do about it. Her insecurities have a hold on her – a hold I know I have to help break. The next question I need answered is how? How am I going to break them?
"Did you love them?" I ask.
"Marc, I was in love with. Shayne, well, he hurt me before I fell for him."
"They were both idiots, Kristy. I know you don't believe that – you think the problem lies with you, but it doesn't."
"Two out of two. I'm the common denominator, Logan."
"Shayne was probably caught up with the idea of dating a supermodel, and Marc – well, I can't speak for him, but I know he's an idiot."
"How can you be so sure?"
I tilt her head up so she can see how sincere I am. "Because I know I'd never do that to you. Jess is beautiful, and she's nice, but she isn't you."
Kristy frowns. "You say that like it's supposed to reassure me."
"It should. I like you a hell of a lot. In fact, I think you're pretty damn great. She can't compete with you, not when it comes to me. I like the way you taste. I like the way you bake. I like the way you get along with my friends – the way you're never afraid of hard work."
She shrugs. "It's not like I ever had anything else to do."
"Whether you had somewhere to be or not, you spent every Saturday off helping me and the guys, baking for us, and helping out with anything that needed to be done. You were the one who was there on my last day of packing at the old place."
"How do you know that isn't just because I liked you a lot?"
I grin. This is one of the things I adore about her. She never shies away from her emotions for me. She loves me, and even though she knows my heart isn't there yet, she's giving me all of herself every time we're together.
"If Adam had been moving and you knew he needed help, would you have helped him?"
She rolls her eyes. "Yes, but anyone would have."
"No, trust me. Not everyone would. But you would. You've worked seven days a week for months, saving like a madwoman for the business you're going to open one day. You've walked Cricket every day since you got him. You're committed to everything you take on. You are one awesome, driven chick, and an excellent friend. The people in your life – Jess included – love you. If you want to know why she was here, it was to ask about my intentions concerning you."
"Oh no, she didn't." Kristy groans, throwing an arm over her eyes.
I chuckle. "Yeah, she did. When I told her that we were seeing each other, she threatened to chop off my scrotum if I ever hurt you."
Kristy winces. "She's very protective."
"I gathered that. She spent her time telling me how much she loves you, that you're like family to her, and that you got her through high school when her parents died. She told me about the things you did to make her laugh when she was depressed, and they made me laugh too. You are one awesome girl. Everyone thinks so, and the only thing that would make you even more awesome is if you knew it too."
She shakes her head but smiles shyly up at me, adoration brimming in her eyes. I roll her underneath me, and our lips meet tenderly.
"And I want you to know that every time I'm with you, you make me feel so damn good. I never want to stop or let you go. You've turned me into a sex addict."
I can't resist lowering my lips to hers again, loving the feel of her soft mouth against mine.
"Logan," she whimpers, trying to pull me closer.
Her mouth opens for me, her legs parting to welcome me in. The hot, wet cavern of her mouth draws me in, just as the hot, wet heat between her legs does.
"Logan, please," she begs as I briefly fill her with the head of my cock before retreating.
There she is, looking up at me with that look that drives me crazy, her feelings laid bare in her eyes.
"I need you so badly," she tells me.
Every time. Every time it's perfect. I link our hands above her head and give in, pressing forward and giving us what we both want. She gasps as I fill her completely, her body stretching to accommodate me. She moves her hips underneath mine, pressing kisses against my neck, face, jaw, and chest. She's driving me out of my mind with need. I love this. I love this so much, the utter crazy bliss she makes me feel every time we're together. I'll never give her any reason to doubt she's my light. She's my guiding force and the very thing that pulled me out of the abyss I've been in.
And I'm going to do everything I can to show her that.