❤️Mac❤️
I stand in the kitchen the next morning, waiting for my toast. The sexy, spicy scent of Ryan's cologne fills the air, intensifying the heat in my belly. It's been a while since a man invited me to stay for sex and breakfast. Danny always found excuses to make me leave the night before, claiming he needed an early morning.
"I think we'll be fine, Mac," Ryan says.
I watch as he spoons coffee and sugar into two mugs. "I don't think it's a good idea."
"I've given you a ride into work plenty of times before."
"Yes, but it's different now."
"Why? Because we had crazy, sweaty sex all night long?" Ryan asks, a knowing smile playing at his lips.
I blush as our eyes meet. Ryan looks incredibly sexy with his dark stubble accentuating his jawline.
"Yes, because we had crazy, sweaty sex all night long."
"You do look like you've been...well loved," he says, his tone smug.
I definitely look and feel a little worn out today. I only slept for two hours before forcing myself out of Ryan's warm and comfortable bed. I hadn't planned to stay the night, so I didn't pack anything to wear this morning. After my shower, Ryan lent me his old sweatpants and a jumper – without underwear.
Getting up and leaving early is my way of ensuring the media doesn't catch wind of our affair. It wouldn’t be hard to guess what we've been up to. I can't trust that his neighbours won't whip out their phones and snap a photo of me leaving his house. Staying the night with Ryan was a risky move, but I'd been too consumed by him; too caught up in a whirlwind of pleasure that never let up from the first kiss.
The conversation I promised myself I would have with him never happened. I'm no closer to believing that this could work out between us than I was the night before when we sat down for dinner. Now, the morning brings the harsh reality of my impossible situation. Walking away from everything, from him, would shatter my heart. But if I lose my job as a result, well, wouldn’t that shatter me too?
"I know you enjoy taking trams," Ryan jokes, "but you should really let me give you a ride home."
Taking public transport this morning is definitely not an option. I refuse to do the walk of shame in public at seven in the morning, with anyone possibly seeing me with him.
"I need a car," I impulsively say.
He chuckles. "Finally, she admits it. It only took you forever to realize that the Melbourne public transport system isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"It’s better for the environment, but yes, you were right. I should have bought a car a while ago."
For the first time, I admit that the novelty of using trams and trains has worn off. I've been delaying the purchase of a car because I'm not confident in my knowledge about them. Ryan seemed the most logical choice to assist with the car shopping, but I've been avoiding him for the past three weeks. I should've asked Matt or Brad for their input; now, my lack of wheels might put me in a tight spot this morning.
"We can go look at cars this weekend if you want. But of course, my expertise doesn't come free," Ryan says, wrapping an arm around my waist and sliding me along the bench until I'm wedged between his legs.
If I'm not photographed with him this morning, there's a good chance we'll be caught together when we go out on the weekend. Clearly, he hasn't considered this.
How can I expect him to remember what's at stake when I lose sight of it every time he touches me?
"I...I don't know, Ryan."
His smile fades. "Matt and Brad will probably want to come too if you're worried about people seeing us together."
"I don't want to make the headlines again," I say. "And we didn't talk about anything last night."
"No, we didn't."
✯Ryan✯
Not talking last night was probably a mistake. We were so consumed by the pleasure of exploring each other's bodies all night that we neglected the important conversations we needed to have. My desire for her is insatiable. I can't recall a time when I've wanted a woman this intensely; being in love seems to have amplified my libido exponentially. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. However, it feels like the moment of truth is looming over us.
I hope I've convinced Mac that we're worth taking a chance on because I don't know how I'll handle it if she rejects me. My heart feels vulnerable, a sensation that is unfamiliar and uncomfortable to me. I wonder if she truly understands the depth of my feelings for her and how much I want to be with her.
"I don't know how this relationship can work without us being seen together, without the risk of getting caught," she says, her gaze lowered. "And without me losing my job."
I gently lift her chin with my thumb and forefinger, meeting her eyes. "The question, Mac, is whether you want this to work out between us."
"Of course, I do," she replies. "But how can this possibly have a positive outcome? I mean, Blainesworth..."
"Yeah, he's not going to be happy about it."
"Ryan, I really don't want to jeopardize my job."
Fear grips me. Does that mean she doesn't even want to try? I understand the risks involved, considering her history. I comprehend her fear. But can't she see that I'm also scared? Yes, it won't be easy. Yes, our boss will be unhappy. But I'm prepared to face these challenges with her. I refuse to walk away from this.
"Listen, Mac," I say, gently brushing her hair off her forehead. "I know you're afraid—"
"Yes, I'm afraid," she interrupts. "Anyone could see us together. We were so caught up in the moment last night that I didn't even consider the possibility of someone spotting me leaving with you this morning. I didn't think at all. And all it takes is one photo of us together, Ryan, and my career could be over."
Her voice holds a touch of hysteria. I stroke her cheeks with my fingers, drawing her closer. I won't let her lose her job, but she's right about one thing.
Blainesworth will eventually find out about us. Trying to deceive our producer won't work. We need to be smart about this.
"Well," I pause for maximum impact. "What if we go straight to Blainesworth this morning and tell him about us?"
She looks at me as if I've gone mad. "Do you remember what he said to me when he saw the headline about us? He's going to fire me, Ryan. He'll ask me to leave because I couldn't keep my 'priorities' in order."
"He won't."
"That's what he—"
"He can't fire us," I assert firmly. "We haven't violated our contract, and we haven't done anything wrong. In fact, if we approach him this morning and honestly disclose our romantic relationship, he won't have any grounds to take action. We'll be acting with integrity, revealing the truth, and he'll have no choice but to accept it, reluctantly or not."
"I don't—" "Can you imagine the uproar if two stars of Hart's Valley were fired for falling in love?"
"Ryan," she says softly, "I don't think your job is in jeopardy."
"I won't let Blainesworth fire you," I declare. "As I've said before, if you leave the show, I'll leave with you. If you're not there, I want nothing to do with the show. I'll walk away from Blainesworth without hesitation if he tries anything."
"I don't want you to do that," she murmurs. "I don't want you to lose your job because of me."
"I hope it won't come to that, but if it does, I'll handle it. There are plenty of ways to make a living in this world, Mac. But there's only one woman I'm in love with."
❤️Mac❤️
I don't know how to respond to Ryan's unwavering commitment. He's standing before me, ready to sacrifice everything for our relationship. But my fear holds me back. I don't want to be known as the actress who makes the same mistake twice. Brad was right when he told me to toughen up and ignore public opinion, but the thought of enduring another round of humiliation terrifies me. And with Lyndel's return, the stakes are even higher.
But Ryan is not like Danny. He loves me, not Lyndel. I need to trust in him and our love. I can't turn away from someone who's willing to do anything for me.
"I love you, Mac," he says. "I would never ask you to do something that would hurt you. Please trust me in this."
His gaze locks with mine, and I feel the sincerity in his words. How can I deny our connection when he believes in us so strongly? I can't find the words to express my doubts; all I can do is take a leap of faith and hope for the best.
"Do you really think Blainesworth will accept our relationship if we talk to him?" I ask, hoping for a positive answer.
"If Blainesworth can see beyond his own ego, he'll realize that us dating is beneficial for Hart's Valley. Our relationship would generate more positive publicity than anything he could pay for."
"As long as everything works out between us," I interject cautiously.
He gazes deeply into my eyes. "It will, Mac. I believe it will."
✯Ryan✯
Her fear is palpable, and it breaks my heart. She's afraid of talking to Blainesworth, but she needs to trust me. I can't stand seeing the uncertainty in her eyes about our future together. I can't promise a fairy tale ending, but she needs to have faith in us, in me.
"Okay," Mac finally says.
"You're going to trust me?"
"Let's talk to Blainesworth."
Relief washes over me, overpowering any doubts. I pull her into my arms and kiss her passionately. At first, her response is hesitant, but soon she's kissing me back with equal intensity. My desire for her ignites as I realize she's not wearing any underwear beneath my pants. I grow hard instantly.
"God, Mac."
"We'll be late," she murmurs, grinding her hips against mine.
"Don't care," I reply, deepening the kiss and palming her sweet arse.
❤️Mac❤️
I know my thoughts should be on getting to work and the inevitable meeting with Blainesworth, but all I want right now is to feel Ryan inside me again, filling me up. I want him to possess me, to drive all thoughts from my mind. The last few weeks have been tumultuous, and being in his arms again, his body against me, is exactly what I need.
“Mackenzie,” he whispers, as he presses a kiss to my neck.
I lift my arms up in the air, and Ryan whips the jumper over my head. Reaching behind with one hand, I unclasp my bra. As soon as it lands on the ground, Ryan’s hands cup my breasts, rubbing the hardened peaks with his thumbs, before lowering his head and taking one into his mouth. I run my hands through his hair and arch my back as incredible sensation after sensation washes through me.
“Condom,” I say.
“In the bedroom,” he says as he slides the pants from my hips.
I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, aware of the way my hot, naked centre presses against the hard length of him through his jeans. The moment he lays me on the bed, I reach out and trail my thumb over his face. He looks at me tenderly for one long moment before he kisses me again. I feel myself growing slicker as his tongue strokes mine. The smell and taste of him, the rasp of his stubble against my skin – it all interferes with any rational and logical thought.
Then he suddenly pulls away. Needing to touch him again, I reach out, but he has other ideas on his mind. He licks his way down my belly, across my hip, before settling between my legs.
“Ryan.”
My body lifts off the bed the moment he sets his tongue in motion. My hands fist in his hair as he pleasures me, and as my orgasm approaches I can’t stop my hips from moving under his mouth. He holds my hips still as the vibrations of his laugh propel me towards the finish line. My whole body tenses up, and I feel the heat inside me building momentum, making me burn and tingle all the way to my toes.
"Ryan," I plead. "I'm so close."
His lips close around the bundle of nerves between my legs before he gives me one final flick with his tongue. Fireworks explode in a million different colors behind my eyes. As I cry out, I become vaguely aware of Ryan shucking his clothes in the background.
"Mac."
✯Ryan✯
Mac’s bright blue gaze locks with mine as I begin to sink into her, inch by inch. She is still tight and pulsing with the aftershocks of her orgasm, and I want her to look at me as I take her. As her warm body grips mine in welcome, I am unbelievably close to finding my own release. Her arms wrap around me and tug me against her, and then my mouth is on hers again as I slide the rest of the way inside her.
She moans into my mouth and moves her hips urgently. I am so close to losing it, but I am nowhere near ready for this to be over yet.
Mac yanks her mouth away from mine suddenly. “Condom,” she pants.
I swear. I never forget to put a condom on, but I just did. There is nothing between us. The thought makes me even harder; pushes me right to the edge as her silken walls flutter around me. I always believed it was better to be safe than sorry, but for the first time in my life I don’t want to use one. Not with Mac. Being with the woman I love, like this, is the closest thing to heaven I’ve ever experienced.
"Do we need one?" I ask.
"I’m protected. Are you…"
"I’m clean."
"Be with me then," she whispers, dragging my mouth back to hers.
Her legs come to wrap around me, anchoring me to her. It is all the encouragement I need. Unable to hold back anymore, I draw back and push forward, plunging as deeply as the position will allow.
❤️Mac❤️
I cry out as Ryan’s hot gaze catches and holds mine. With every stroke of his body into mine, I feel my climax nearing. He’s close too, judging by the way his muscles tense under my hands. He pumps into me as he holds me tightly, and as I hit my peak a second time, I know I’ve made the right decision.
No matter how long this relationship lasts, it will be worth it. Risking everything might be a mistake, but missing out on this would be the biggest mistake of my life.
***
I pace anxiously in my dressing room, unable to focus on the script in my hands. Ryan drove me to work today, and once he finishes filming his scene, we're supposed to talk to Blainesworth. But now that Ryan isn't by my side, doubts start creeping in. Am I making the right decision?
Blainesworth has made it clear that he disapproves of relationships between his stars. He warned me about the potential consequences of getting involved with Ryan. While I want to believe Ryan's assurances that Blainesworth will see the positive side, what if he doesn't?
At least I managed to avoid Jazz this morning. I can already envision the disappointment on her face and the comments she would make about Ryan's commitment issues. I know I'll have to tell her the truth eventually, but I can't handle her doubts right now.
A sudden knock on the door interrupts my pacing. I rush to open it, hoping to see Ryan, but instead, Danny stands in the doorway.
"Danny. Hi. What are you doing here?" I greet him, surprised to see him since we don't have any scenes together today.
"I needed to talk to the boss about something, and while I was here, I thought I'd swing by to see how you're doing. Can I come in?" he asks.
I step aside to let him enter, and he remains standing instead of sitting on the couch.
"What's going on?" I ask, curious about his unexpected visit.
"I've been a fool, Mac," he admits, shaking his head. "I've been waiting for Angel to come back to me, hoping she'd realize she wants me again."
"I know," I respond softly.
"But then she called me last night, and when she mentioned meeting up and talking, all I could think about was how much... how much I enjoyed kissing you again yesterday. It felt just like old times. I think letting you go might have been the biggest mistake of my life. I think... I think I want you back."