❤️Mac❤️
As I leave Blainesworth's office, I contemplate everything my producer said. Is he right about my lack of confidence? Is that why I hate being mentioned in the tabloids? Because they bring out all my deepest fears and insecurities?
"I think if you had any faith in your relationship with Ryan, you wouldn't give a damn what I, or anyone else thought about it."
Blainesworth was right. If I actually believed in my choices, I wouldn't give a damn about his opinion or anyone else's. I need to own my decision to be with Ryan. So how do I do that? How do I wholly accept the fact that I might be throwing away my career for a relationship with all odds stacked against it?
I walk in the direction of Ryan's dressing room, knocking twice before opening the door. Ryan turns around, and his gaze lands on me immediately. The warmth in his eyes makes my heart skip a beat.
He has to know that there's a possibility our relationship will end, just like Blainesworth said, yet Ryan doesn't seem to care. His confidence in our relationship turns my knees to mush. Clearly, he believes we’re worth the risk. So maybe, just for now, I can draw my strength from him.
"Maccas!" Brad exclaims, sweeping me off my feet and up into a hug. "You survived the meeting with Blainesworth?"
"I did," I laugh.
When Brad lowers me to the ground, I realize Jazz is there too.
"Jazz. Hi."
I had planned to tell Jazz everything once the meeting with Blainesworth was done and dusted, but the fact that she’s here means there is a good chance my friend already knows. Is she mad at me for keeping her in the dark again? For going against her good advice?
I search my friend's face for an answer, but to my surprise, Jazz doesn't look upset. In fact, she actually looks thrilled.
"Mac," she winks at me. "I want to catch up with you, but right now Brad and I are needed on set."
"We are?" Brad asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," Jazz says, pulling him out of the room behind her.
Before I can ask Ryan anything more, he’s standing in front of me, his eyes worried yet hopeful as he runs his hands along my arms. "How did it go? What did Blainesworth say?"
"Everything you'd expect him to say."
"He told you that dating me was a bad idea?"
"Pretty much."
"Is that all he said?"
I shrug as casually as I can. "He reminded me that the tabloids will probably have something to say about us."
"Yes, they will. But you shouldn't listen to what they say."
"I know. I don't want to."
He traces my cheekbone with his thumb, sending shivers through me. "So don't. Every time you feel doubt creeping in and you feel scared, remind yourself that I love you. I'll be right beside you, taking this chance with you. I'm just as nervous about the way things might work out as you are."
This is Ryan's first attempt at a permanent relationship. I have no idea what caused him to shy away from anything that isn't casual in the past. Does it have anything to do with his mother? He implied as much over dinner last night, but I can't be sure.
I want to know. I want to know the man I love. And now I have my chance.
"I told Blainesworth that nothing was going to stop me from... doing this."
Ryan's smile is enormous, and I know I've said the right thing. He is willing to give up everything to be with me. He doesn't deserve my doubt at all. I might not be entirely confident that getting involved with Ryan wouldn't lead to disaster, but at the very least, I know he loves me.
"Does Jazz know something about us?" I ask Ryan as he wraps his arms around me.
"Brad filled her in."
"Oh."
"I was worried she was going to join the campaign against us," he says.
"But she isn't?"
"She isn't," he confirms. "She and Brad are threatening to follow us if we leave."
"No!"
"Yes."
"I'm surprised..."
I don't want to tell Ryan about Jazz's tirade on his inability to commit yesterday, but he seems to know what I am thinking anyway.
"Jazz knows I love you, Mac."
The way his gaze softens makes my breath catch.
"Did Blainesworth say anything else I should know about?" he asks.
I shake my head. "Nope."
I feel a little guilty about not repeating everything Blainesworth said, but Ryan doesn't need to know that Blainesworth had seen just how scared I feel about taking this chance.
"In that case," Ryan says, sweeping me off my feet and carrying me over to the couch. "I feel the need to celebrate."
✯Ryan✯
"I'm seeing someone, and it's serious."
This probably isn't what Lyndel was expecting to hear when I called her about catching up today, but her welcome party is this evening, and I want to get the conversation out of the way.
"Wow," Lyndel says, looking as if I've just smacked her between the eyes.
It’s a Friday morning, and we’re sitting inside the Red Jacket, having an early breakfast before I go to the studio.
Climbing out of Mac's bed this morning required a tremendous amount of willpower, and revealing my upcoming meeting with Lyndel to her demanded even more. While Mac has assured our producer that our relationship is solid, a nagging unease lingers in me. A single negative headline might shake her confidence and push her away. Plus, the mere notion of any old on-screen chemistry with Lyndel could unsettle her.
I wish I could embrace and enjoy what's blossoming between Mac and me fully, but the time doesn't feel right yet. I'm hopeful that, as she recognizes the depth of my commitment, her reservations will dissolve.
"I have to admit I'm a little shocked," Lyndel says.
"Yeah, the whole... falling in love thing kind of took me by surprise, too."
"I don't suppose it's possible you're just imagining it?" Lyndel says sweetly.
I laugh. There is no chance I've imagined the way I feel about Mackenzie Lauren.
"Definitely not. Which is why I asked you to come here this morning. I think that it's great we're going to be working together again, but I wasn't sure if you were looking to..."
"Rekindle our great love affair?" Lyndel finishes.
I nod. I hadn't been in a relationship with Lyndel, and there is a good chance I am coming off as an arrogant jerk right now, but I don't like lying to women.
Jazz was right. I need to make sure I don't lead Lyndel on or allow her to believe I am available.
"Well, I was looking forward to a repeat of my last night in the country," she admits. "But don't worry, I'm not too heartbroken. I haven't been waiting all these years."
"Of course not."
"Besides, Blainesworth doesn't like his co-stars dating anyway, right?"
Damn, this is going to be awkward. "That's true," I choose my words carefully.
"So, are you going to tell me who the lucky girl is?"
"Mackenzie Lauren."
Despite her abilities as an actress, Lyndel doesn't quite manage to conceal her surprise.
"Our co-star, Mackenzie Lauren?"
"Yep."
"But Blainesworth..."
"He does have a guideline about co-stars dating, but Mac and I talked it over with him."
"So, he's actually okay with... this?"
"I wouldn't exactly say he's happy about it. But he's dealing. He's not killing us off in any Hart's Valley accidents yet, anyway."
Lyndel smiles, though it doesn't reach her eyes. "I'm surprised Mac's risking it. I heard about what happened to her on Junction Hospital."
"Needless to say, she's a little cautious, but she knows how serious I am. I've pushed her for this. I want to make a real go of it with her."
"Wow, you really are smitten."
I give her a self-deprecating grin. "I've fallen hard, yeah. She's amazing, and I think you'll really like her if you take the time to get to know her."
Her smile is forced. "I'm not here to make enemies, Ryan."
"I never said you were."
"Maybe not, but you're sitting here telling me you want me to be nice to your girlfriend."
"The whole cast is really close, and it would be great if we could keep it that way."
"I didn't take the job to cause waves."
It is on the tip of my tongue to ask why she had taken the job, but I don't.
Lyndel lifts her glass of orange juice and tips it in my direction. Her eyes are cool. "To you and Mac."
I'm not sure how Lyndel and Mac will interact after this, but I'm sure I will find out at the party tonight. With any luck, things will go smoothly, but if they don't, Jazz will look out for Mac. And so will I.
❤️Mac❤️
Lyndel's welcome party unfolds elegantly yet subtly in one of the spacious meeting rooms adjacent to the producer's office. Polished wait staff circulate, offering hors d'oeuvres, while a corner bar serves drinks with a bartender at the helm.
My eyes first settle on a cluster of executives near the entrance before shifting to my fellow cast members. Vanessa, Matt, Brad, and Ryan are engrossed in conversation with Lyndel near the room's rear.
Jazz and I, having been tied up with the last scene of the day, make a late entrance. We'd stashed our evening wear in our dressing rooms to skip a trip home pre-party. Jazz dazzles in a red, sequined Jessica Rabbit-inspired gown. I've opted for a sleek turquoise and black number paired with black heels and coordinating blue accessories.
"You set?" Jazz queries.
"Seems so."
Typically, such intimate gatherings wouldn’t faze me. The studio often buzzes with these mini soirées. But tonight's different. Word of my budding relationship with Ryan has spread like wildfire, marking this our debut as an item. The public might be absent, but I'm under no illusion — every studio insider's gaze will be trained on us.
"Focus," Jazz says gently. "Everyone's aware you two are an item, and the whole team's got your back."
I hesitate. While Matt and Vanessa have been pillars of support, much like Brad and Jazz, I can't confidently vouch for the wider cast and crew. This evening feels pivotal; acknowledging Ryan as more than just a colleague feels like plunging headfirst into treacherous waters.
"Mac?" Jazz prods.
Right then, Ryan swivels, his gaze piercing through the throng to lock onto mine. A sweep over my attire earns an appreciative nod. When our eyes reconnect, his brim with assurance and an unspoken offer: Need me to come to the rescue?
I subtly decline with a shake of my head. Ryan might be my white knight, but I refuse to play the damsel.
Steeling myself, I tell Jazz, "Let's dive in."
With a proud, "That's the spirit," she loops her arm in mine, leading us into the thrumming heart of the party.
After my second glass of champagne, my nerves start to ease. When Ryan and I greeted each other, our kiss and embrace, though restrained, spoke volumes about our shared thrill of being openly together.
Several executives playfully teased us throughout the evening. Director Mitch even made me flush with his jest. "That Wednesday's kiss might just be the steamiest scene I've ever captured," he'd remarked. "Let's hope you both can keep a lid on that passion or we might just go up in flames watching you." Ryan chuckled, but there was a hint of crimson in his cheeks. I was no different.
Lyndel, ever graceful, floats through the evening. Her polite chatter is underscored by a distinct distance. She ensures she interacts with each co-star, myself included. But it's clear: she leans toward male company. Ryan and Brad seem to be her favoured conversationalists, though she's earnest in getting to know Matt too.
Ryan's comforting touch on my back, warm and consistent, reassures me throughout, asking nothing but my company.
I slip away momentarily after the guys dive into a Vegas trip memory, excusing myself to the restroom. There, Lyndel stands, refreshing her lipstick. Anxiety twists in my stomach. Still, recalling Ryan's earlier assurance about his cordial exchange with Lyndel, I gather myself.
"So, you and Ryan, huh?" Lyndel says with a tilt of nonchalance, her phrasing reducing our relationship to mere casual flings. But we both know it's deeper.
"Yes, we're together," I respond.
With a pointed look, she says, "Given your track record of mixing business with pleasure and the fallout, I'm wondering: brave or just naive?"
Lyndel's stance on me is clear. I loathe confrontations, especially about Ryan, but it's evident I'll have to address this, perhaps repeatedly, in the industry circles. This might as well be my trial run.
A clever comeback eludes me, so I opt for sincere reflection. "Fear of judgment held me back for ages."
She arches an eyebrow, her scepticism clear. "Overcome that, have we?"
"I'm in love with him. I never thought he'd feel the same, but he does. If I hadn't taken this chance, I'd have lived with regret."
"And now you might regret losing your job."
"I hope it doesn't come to that."
"Ryan's never sought commitment. I doubt this will change."
"He's never been in love before," I counter. "Love isn't just a passing phase."
"Love is short-lived in this industry, Mackenzie," Lyndel says, elongating my name in a patronizing tone. "Given your past-"
"Why were you so ready to give up a great job overseas for him?" The words fly out before I can hold them back, echoing truths Ryan shared about Lyndel.
Lyndel once considered sacrificing a prestigious opportunity to be with Ryan. What gives her the right to judge? If roles were reversed, would she have made the same choice?
Maybe she came to Hart's Valley hoping to find a second chance with Australia's leading man. Who could resist the allure of being with Ryan Moore? How many would choose a career over the chance at true love, however transient?
People can talk, but they don't bear my regrets or decisions. They haven't walked in my shoes.
Buoyed by this epiphany, I challenge Lyndel with a steady gaze.
"I could have loved Ryan without any conditions," she retorts, her voice chilled. "I definitely wouldn't have crumbled when things ended."
Before I can reply, she's already left the room. I move to the plush purple sofa in the suite, seeking solace.
Lyndel's last remark stings. I don't plan to make demands of Ryan. Just his commitment suffices. But her insinuation that I'd break if it ended between us... It's closer to the truth than I'd like to admit. My past experience with Danny, the breakup, it was all painful. The hardest part, however, was my inability to move on, resulting in my job loss.
The fact remains: I have no assurances that history won't repeat itself. Yet, I am wiser and more experienced now.
Yesterday, Blainesworth advised me to manage my expectations, and that seems like sage counsel. Should things with Ryan conclude, I'm determined to exit gracefully. Instead of dwelling on starry-eyed fantasies, I'll embrace the fleeting nature of it all. For now, that's the best I can do. I hope it's sufficient.
Suddenly, a distinct knock interrupts my thoughts.
Quickly rising, I hear, "Mac? Are you in there?"
Ryan. A sense of apprehension surges within me as I hasten to the door.
Emerging from the bathroom, I answer, "I'm here."
I'm met with Ryan's anxious expression, every muscle in his body coiled tight.
I prompt, "What happened?"
He looks torn as he speaks, "My mum had an accident. My sister just called from the hospital. I need to be there." He hesitates briefly before adding, "Please... can you come with me?"