Lights, Camera, Kiss Me (Original): Chapter 15
"New cast member?"
This chapter ended up a little long, so I hope most of you don't mind a longish chapter. I hate my readers to get bored. On another note, a few of you have mentioned you're NOT a fan of cliffhangers. Um, is there any other way to end a chapter? LOL. Teeny-tiny cliffy this chapter, depending on how you define a cliffhanger.
Thanks to @LilianeGrouse and Jenn for their wonderful editing suggestions. Goodness knows I need 'em! <3 Thanks to Days for pre-reading, too.
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"What?"
"I said I'm in love with you, Mackenzie."
Mac shook her head and opened her mouth, ready to refute what he'd just said, but the words failed to come. He leaned forward slowly and swept a lock of hair off her forehead, before he tucked it behind her ear. His eyes were as close to green as she'd ever seen them as he studied her, the tenderness and warmth in them enough to take her breath away and make her heart beat that much faster.
"Have dinner with me tonight."
His voice was so low she shivered in response. She had no idea what she should say. Every argument she'd made, every defence she'd shored up against him had melted away the moment he'd told her he was in love with her. She'd wanted nothing more these past few weeks than to hear those words come out of his mouth and now that they had, she'd lost the capacity to speak – to even think.
"Mac?"
He was waiting for her to say something. If only she knew what it was that she should say to him. Was this how he'd felt when she told him she loved him?
"This is, ah…I'm really surprised."
"You're not the only one," he said, before chuckling softly. "I've tried to avoid feeling like this about anyone, but I just couldn't avoid it with you. I've fallen so hard for you, Mac. I know it screws up everything. I know the risks you have to take if we decide to be together, but I want it. I want it so much. I want you and me. Together. I've never wanted anything more."
"The risks," she repeated, her mind tripping over and then clinging to the word.
For the past three weeks she'd done everything she could to keep it together, to not fall apart – to put her job first.
"Aren't you glad you don't have to choose between following your heart and keeping your job?"
At the time it hadn't at all seemed like a blessing, but Jazz had been right – it had been a small blessing. When she'd been sure Ryan didn't reciprocate her feelings the only choice had been to focus on her job. Now, however, he was handing her everything she'd ever secretly wished for and her head was reeling from the whirl of thoughts and questions flying through it. Could they do this? Could they have a relationship when their boss was completely against it? Would Ryan really give up his womanizing ways for her?
"I know. Your job's on the line. Trust me, I get it. All I'm asking for is a chance to talk this over with you – to discuss the situation and whether we could ever make this work between us. Where we go from here is up to you. I just want to talk about it. That's all."
He made it sound so harmless. A little talking. Some dinner. But dinner might lead to sex. Even as she had the thought she felt her insides quiver with anticipation. Her body was still thrumming with sexual energy after the kiss they'd shared on stage. As if he could read her mind his eyes darkened and his gaze dropped to her lips.
She'd never stopped wanting him, even after they'd just had sex in her kitchen. Ryan had tried to persuade her that sleeping together once would never be enough. Oh, how right he'd been!
But you only wanted to limit sex to the one time because you were worried that sleeping with him would make you fall in love with him. Idiot. They'd only slept together once but she'd fallen in love with him anyway. And it seems he's in love with you, too.
The thought made her head spin even harder. Her first instinct might have been to deny that he loved her, but why would he lie? He had to be telling the truth. Nothing else would explain why he wasn't running from this, or from her. Nothing else would explain the fact that he wanted something from her that he'd never wanted from anyone else – a proper relationship.
"Please, Mac."
It was the desperation in his voice and the pleading way he looked at her that made her nod her head slowly. "Okay."
He took a breath and then let his forehead rest softly against hers. "Thank you."
It's just dinner, she reminded herself as her nerves and doubts kicked into high gear. Dinner that could lead to sex and a relationship with Australia's Romeo, and the end of your career. But sure, tell yourself whatever makes you feel better.
"We should get back to the set," she told him, more aware than ever that they were alone in a dark hallway.
He pulled his head away from hers and studied her. For a moment she thought he was about to kiss her, but he didn't. Thank god. Her heart was beating so loudly she could hear nothing but the thump of it in her ears, and she was breathing so fast it was a miracle she wasn't hyperventilating. She didn't know if she could handle another kiss like the one they'd shared on set without spontaneously combusting.
"I can't go back to the set yet," he told her.
"Ryan-"
"I know. I might just wait another minute or two before I go back. I almost lost it up there, Mac. If Mitch hadn't stopped us, I have no idea just how far I would have gone."
And she had no idea just how far she would have let him go, because when Ryan had his hands and mouth on her she wasn't very good at thinking straight. Note to self, don't let Ryan near you tonight. Close proximity to the man prevents all logical and rational thought.
"We'll be fine this time," she said to him, with more confidence than she felt. "We just can't forget where we are again."
"It's not that I forget where we are. It's that I don't know how to stop."
She blushed as his dark eyes caught and held hers, and she knew that if she didn't get out of there now, he'd kiss her and all hell would break loose.
"I'm going to go back to the set. I'll see you in a few minutes."
She started to walk away, but Ryan caught and held her arm.
"Come to my place for dinner tonight, after work. I'll cook."
"I'm shooting a late scene with Vanessa and Brad. I won't be able to make it until nine-ish."
"No worries. I don't mind a late dinner."
She nodded and he grinned at her. She grinned back at him and then forced herself to walk away. The hesitations and doubts were still swirling through her, but there was a decent dose of excitement suddenly there in the mix, too. He wanted to cook for her. She'd never had a man cook for her before. She also couldn't deny she was looking forward to enjoying the stunning view of Ryan's apartment. His apartment was the envy of all their friends.
If she started a relationship with him, they'd be seeing the inside of each other's places a lot, she reminded herself. They certainly couldn't go out in public without it ending up splashed across the front page of every magazine in the country. And there was the danger. You can't afford to forget that, Mac. The question was; how did she make herself remember what was important when they were alone together and all she could think about was how much she wanted him to touch her?
* * *
"I'm thinking about heading to Manny's tonight. You in? It's been too long since I've killed you at pool."
Even if he hadn't already made a date with Mac, Ryan wasn't sure whether he would have been interested in taking Brad up on his offer. Like Mac, Brad had hardly spoken to him over the past three weeks, unless it was to have a go at him about something. Yet his friend had walked into his dressing room and invited him out to play pool as if he'd never threatened to end their friendship three weeks ago.
The invitation was completely out of left field, but Ryan didn't have the mind to work out what was behind it right now. His dinner with Mac was all he could think about. It had taken another two takes before their director had deemed his kiss with Mac acceptable. Mac had headed off to her dressing room straight after. Despite the fact that Ryan had wanted to follow her, he'd held back. He'd wait until they had some privacy before they started talking about this.
"I can't tonight," he told Brad.
"Why not? Hot date?"
"I have plans."
"Plans with Mac?"
Ryan looked at him warily. Here it came – the reason behind the invitation.
"Jazz thinks you've lost the plot. Apparently you offered Mac some kind of permanent relationship thingy? I told her she must have dreamt it. The Ryan Moore I know doesn't do permanent."
'Permanent relationship thingy'? What had Mac said to Jazz? And what had Jazz said to Brad? It didn't matter, Ryan decided. It wasn't going to deter him from going after what he wanted. If Mac decided she didn't want a relationship then he'd respect that, but he wasn't going to stand there and listen to Brad berate him for pursuing the one woman he'd managed to fall in love with despite himself. Neither Brad nor Jazz had any idea how he felt about Mac – or how important she was to him.
"I thought you were trying to stay away from her, man," Brad said.
"Yep, I was."
"What happened?"
What was the point in keeping it to himself? He had no idea what Mac had said to Jazz, or what Jazz had said to Brad. Obviously they were all talking. Keeping secrets from his cast-mates was close to impossible. Maybe if Brad heard why he wanted to be with Mac he'd shut up and leave him alone.
"I fell in love with her."
"You did not."
Ryan didn't say a word.
"Are you fucking serious? You think you're in love."
"I don't think. I know."
"You hate love."
"I never said that."
"You hate proper relationships. I definitely remember you said that. You said they never led to anything but disappointment and then bitterness and resentment."
"Maybe I changed my mind."
"Maybe you changed your mind? That's a pretty big one-eighty, Romeo."
"Are we done, or are you going to attempt to throw a punch and warn me off her?"
"Geez, you're prickly. Is it that time of month for you or what?"
"I just don't need you going off at me today about how I should stay away from her. You've already made it clear our friendship is over if I hurt her."
Brad held up his hands in surrender. "I come in peace."
"Bullshit. You came here because Jazz's been talking your ear off about something neither of you have any idea about."
"So, then, tell me about it. You want to be with Mac?"
"These past few weeks have been the worst weeks of my life. I've been in hell – just because she put a little distance between us. I couldn't eat or sleep. I screwed up on set twice last week, and I messed up when I had to kiss Mac on set today. I couldn't stop kissing her."
"I heard about that."
Ryan didn't stop to ask who he'd heard it from. It could have come from anyone. Everyone on the set and in the crew talked to each other.
"My point is, I'm a fucking mess without her in my life."
"Except she is in your life. You have to work together. And your problem isn't just that Blainesworth is likely to find out about the two of you and send Mac packing. Have you heard the expression, 'don't shit where you eat'? We've both slept with people we work with before, and we didn't do it again because it's a nightmare when it's over."
"Maybe it will work out between Mac and I."
"Yeah, and maybe pigs will fly and I'll marry Emma Stone. You can't do this. It's going to ruin everything. It won't last."
"You don't know that."
"Come on, Romeo. Wake up and smell the coffee. Relationships that start on a TV show like this don't last. When Brianna and Stone are finished, when Hart's Valley is finished, it will be curtains for the two of you. I'm begging you not to go through with this."
Ryan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He'd been telling himself the same thing since he'd met Mac and felt the pull of attraction. Despite the frequent lectures he'd given himself, however, his feelings had grown, and grown, and grown. Now he was in love with her. What he felt was too big and too strong to walk away from, ignore, or deny.
"I don't think I can work with her and not be with her," he told Brad.
"Sure you can. We'll go out. You'll pick up a beautiful woman like you always do. You'll get over Mac. She'll get over you. You guys will go back to being friends. Everyone can be happy."
His friend was a deluded man.
"If I don't pursue this thing with Mac, or she decides she doesn't want this, I'm leaving the show. I'm out. I can't do this."
"Of course you can. You're one of the best actors in the business. It will be hard, but you'll manage."
"I don't want to manage. I don't want to see Mac every day, knowing I can't be with her, feeling the way I feel right now."
"Blainesworth would never let you go easily," Brad said, changing tactic. "You'd be in breach of contract. He could sue you, or worse, he could stop you from getting another role. Think this through, man. What would you do if you weren't one of Australia's favourite TV stars, Romeo? Acting is the only thing I've ever really seen you passionate about. I just can't see you working in the McDonalds down the street. Can you?"
"Of course not. I've invested some money over the years. Maybe I could produce something. Or write something."
"You have no idea what's involved when it comes to either of those things."
"Then I'll find out. We talked about making a movie together once."
"We joked about it."
"Whatever. I'll find something to do."
"You, my friend, have gone off the deep end."
"Maybe I have. What I feel for Mac…it's crazy."
It seemed as if Brad had run out of steam as he stood there and stared at him. After what felt like a full minute of silence, Brad finally spoke again. "You really are in love with her."
Ryan almost laughed. Despite the fact Ryan had been telling him that for the past ten minutes, Brad sounded so shocked
"Yes. I'm really in love with her."
"Shit," Brad said, plopping down on the couch in Ryan's dressing room.
"Yeah."
"You know this is going to be the biggest mistake of your life – a shit-storm of epic proportions. You're about to shoot your life to hell in a hand-basket."
He was still negative, but Brad's tone had changed from argumentative to accepting, and maybe there was a little bit of concern in there, too.
"Probably," Ryan said to him with a shrug.
"I know I gave you a hard time about this, but I don't know, maybe there's no other way. Maybe you do need to give things a try with Mac."
Ryan couldn't keep the grin from spreading over his face. Was Brad actually telling him to go for it?
"I can't see how it could possibly work out," Brad continued.
"But you're going to give me your approval?"
"I didn't say that."
Ryan was still grinning as he raised an eyebrow at him.
"I don't want to end our friendship over this. That's what I'm saying," Brad told him. "And if you really love Mac-"
"I do."
"Then…I guess I hope it works out for the two of you."
"Me too," Ryan said, plopping down on the couch beside him.
"If you break her heart I'm still going to kill you though."
"You have my full permission to kick my ass if I screw this up."
"Like I need your permission," Brad scoffed.
"You're a good friend, both to Mac and to me."
"Don't let it go to your head, but I've kind of missed you these past few weeks."
"Aww, shucks."
"Shut up. I know you missed me, too." He paused for a moment, both of them lapsing into comfortable silence.
"I feel like we should have a beer right now to toast your fall," Brad said, finally.
"Another time?"
"I guess it'll have to be. What's the plan with Mac tonight?"
"She's coming over for dinner after she shoots her scene with you and Vanessa. I'm cooking."
"I hope she's a fan of spaghetti on toast then."
"Real funny, McDay. I make a mean Carbonara sauce."
"You better hope so. If she knows what's good for her, she'll turn you down."
"Then I guess I better hope my Carbonara sauce is too perfect for her to pass up."
"Yeah, you better hope so."
* * *
"I'm so sorry."
After shooting her scene with Brad and Vanessa, Mac had been in such a hurry to leave the set that she'd walked straight into someone.
"Mackenzie," Blainesworth said warmly, as she stepped back. "I'm pleased to introduce you to our newest member of the Hart's Valley cast, Lyndel Craig. Lyndel, this is Mackenzie Lauren."
The name helped her to focus on the face of the stunning-looking blonde in front of her. That was who she'd just smacked into? Lyndel Craig? The actress had starred alongside Brad and Ryan on Wild Horses and her character had been involved in a scandalously hot romance with Ryan's character for the first season. She'd left the show after landing a role on the American daytime soap, The Rich and the Cunning.
"I used to watch you on Wild Horses," Mac said. "It's great to meet you."
Lyndel smiled politely, but her brown eyes were blank and she made no attempt to continue the conversation or trade niceties.
"We're going to be having a small welcome party on Friday night on the executive level. A formal introduction will be given to all of the staff," Blainesworth told her. "Lyndel was just hoping to have an early reunion with her Wild Horses co-stars."
"Brad's around," Mac said.
"And Ryan?" Lyndel asked.
There was a slightly possessive note to her voice that had a knot forming in Mac's gut.
"Ah, here comes Brad now," Blainesworth said. "I'll leave you two to catch up while I speak with Mitch."
"Brad!" Lyndel cried before throwing herself at him.
Well, the greeting Brad received was certainly warmer than the greeting she had received from Lyndel, Mac thought. Was the other actress always so cool with people she didn't know?
"Lyndel," Brad said with a grin, as she pulled back to look at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Meet the newest member of Hart's Valley," Lyndel said, before doing a little twirl.
"You're joining the show?"
Lyndel nodded. "Your producer was looking for someone who'd fit in with all of you. He thought I was perfect for the part. After all, you and I work well together, and Ryan and I have great chemistry. Speaking of Ry…I was hoping to catch up with him today. Isn't he in the studio? He always used to stay late on set."
"Nope," Brad said, suddenly looking a little awkward as he shifted from one foot to the other. "He went home early tonight. He has a date he wants to impress."
"Oh," Lyndel said, her disappointment evident. "I was really looking forward to catching up. He's going to flip when he sees me."
"He probably will," Brad replied.
"So, ah, he's seeing someone then?" she asked.
"I don't know too much. It's pretty new."
"It'll never last. Relationships with Ryan never do," Lyndel said with a tight smile on her lips.
"You never know," Brad said, looking tense. He looked at Mac before he looked back at Lyndel. "I'm assuming you've been introduced to Mac?"
Mac smiled as Lyndel reluctantly looked at her. "Is it Mac or Mackenzie?" she asked.
"Mackenzie, but my friends call me Mac."
"Mac is a guy's name, isn't it?" Lyndel asked, a cool smile on her lips and an eyebrow quirked questioningly.
Mac had the distinct impression that the other woman was looking down her nose at her.
"Sometimes," Mac said with a casual smile and a shrug. "I like it, though."
"You used to work on Junction Hospital, right?"
"Yeah."
"Mmm."
Lyndel's verbal acknowledgement was minimal, but judging by the expression she was wearing, she'd heard about what had happened on Junction Hospital – even while she'd been overseas. Mac could practically hear her thinking – so, this is the actress who was fired for her meltdown after she was dumped by Danny Westlaker. If Lyndel hadn't been looking down her nose at her before, she definitely was now.
There were plenty of people in the industry who would look at her the same way. Maybe she deserved their judgement. She was an actress after all. Plenty of her peers had claimed she was a below average actress because she hadn't been able to conceal her heartbreak. Working with Danny after their break-up had been impossible for her. She'd been unable to act as if it hadn't mattered. She couldn't undo that, change it, or fix it.
Brad had told her not so long ago that she needed to toughen up. Enduring this kind of professional criticism wasn't something she would complain about. That said, however, she wasn't used to it from the cast of Hart's Valley. They'd all accepted her – faulty past and all. Lyndel Craig, it seemed, did not.
Mac had always found it easy enough to get along with people, and she'd been looking forward to gaining a new cast member, but right now she wasn't feeling overly happy about the arrival of the other woman. And it didn't help that Lyndel seemed far too keen to see Ryan again. The two of them had shared some serious chemistry on Wild Horses. It didn't take much imagination to think about them taking all that chemistry between them off set and climbing into bed together. The knot in her gut grew bigger at the thought.
"Will you tell Ry I said hi, and that I'm excited to be working with him again?" Lyndel asked Brad.
"I'll tell him."
"Great. I'll see you Friday," Lyndel said before she walked away.
"Friday?" Brad repeated to Mac.
"Proper welcome for our newest cast member," Mac explained.
"Well, that was unexpected," Brad said.
"Happy?" Mac asked, making sure there was no-one else close enough to them to hear the question. "You liked working with her?"
"I always got along well with her. So did Romeo."
"Did he…? Were they…together?"
"Ah…"
Brad was wearing that deer-caught-in-headlights look, which could only mean one thing. She shut her eyes briefly as a wave of jealousy rushed over her. Not a good sign, Mac. The sudden spurt of jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness reminded her of how she'd felt about Danny when they were together, and that was enough to make her want to run from this idea of a relationship with Ryan – run away at warp speed.
She'd never been prone to jealousy before Danny. It was an ugly emotion and one that didn't have a place in her profession. However, her relationship with her ex had been born out of a spark on stage, and when she'd watched that same spark flare between Danny and Angel she'd been slightly worried. Danny had denied that he felt a spark with Angel initially, but within weeks of having that conversation he'd dumped her. Being swapped for another leading lady was something she never wanted to experience again.
Ryan had said he loved her and she had no good reason to doubt it was the truth, but there would always be temptation, especially in this job. If he started hooking up with Lyndel on stage and their spark was reignited, it could lead to something off-set. She'd promised herself she'd never end up in that position again, and yet she knew that if she did date Ryan there was a huge chance of history repeating itself.
"You're best off asking Ryan about that. You're heading over to his place for dinner now, right?"
"You know? About our…date?"
"Yes."
Mac waited for Brad to continue – waited for his imminent lecture to come. She was being silly. This would be the end of her career. That was what he should be telling her, but he wasn't. He was just standing there, watching her, waiting for her to say something.
"It's a bad idea, isn't it? I shouldn't have said yes."
"It's a bad idea, yes," Brad agreed.
"I know. You're right. I should cancel-"
"But," Brad interrupted. "It's real for him, Mac. This thing between you is the biggest thing I've ever seen happen to him. He loves you."
"But it can't work, can it?" she asked helplessly.
"Chances are that it won't, yet I find myself desperately hoping that you two find a way to defy the odds and surprise me."
"I don't know what I'm doing," she admitted. "I don't know what I should do."
"Mac, you need to tell him this, not me."
"But I need advice. I want…what he's offering me, but I'm so scared of history repeating itself, even more so now with Lyndel turning up."
"Okay, firstly, he never really felt anything for Lyndel, except a desire to sleep with her. And I can tell you that as a red-blooded male, we want to sleep with every half-decent looking woman out there. So, I wouldn't call it a big deal. What Ryan feels for you is something big enough to make him consider quitting Hart's Valley."
"What?"
"Don't tell Ryan I told you," Brad instructed. "Let's just say you're not the only one worrying about how this will affect you long-term. Love is a new emotion for him and it's kind of messing with him a bit. It's knocking him for six."
She was trying to absorb what Brad was saying, but she was still in shock. Ryan had really thought about quitting? But what about his contract? What about Hart's Valley?
"Secondly," Brad said, jerking her out of her thoughts. "You don't need my advice. You know what's at risk and now you need to work out whether the pros outweigh the cons. I think maybe you should have some faith that you can deal with this. You're not the same inexperienced actress that you were on Junction Hospital. I know the whole thing with Danny was a mess, but is running from this thing with Ryan really going to make it any easier?"
"I'm not running."
The lie was out before she could think better of it. Brad just raised an eyebrow.
"Come on. You were thinking about it."
"I…okay, yes, I was."
"How about you run to dinner instead? You'll be late otherwise and Romeo is probably thinking you've stood him up."
Mac opened her mouth to tell him that that wouldn't be the case, but closed it when she saw the stern look on his face.
"And Mac," he said, when she began to walk away. "If you do decide the cons outweigh the pros, don't break his heart too bad."
* * *
Ryan looked at the clock. Nine-thirty and Mac still hadn't shown up yet. Shooting often ran over the allotted time, but he was starting to worry. She wouldn't stand him up, would she?
When he heard his phone ringing loudly on the kitchen counter, he raced to get it, thinking it might be Mac. It wasn't.
"What's going on, MacDay? Have you guys finished shooting yet?"
"Yeah we finished. I've just said goodbye to Mac."
Relief washed through him. Mac hadn't decided not to come. The last scene of the day had just run over time.
"Great, thanks for letting me know."
"That's not why I'm calling. Listen, Romeo, you owe me one."
"What are you talking about?"
"Mac was thinking about cancelling. Lucky for you I'm such a great friend. I talked her out of running."
A moment ago he'd been relieved. Now he felt disappointed and let down. She'd been going to cancel on him? She'd agreed to the evening so they could talk things over, but Brad had had to talk her into coming. It didn't bode well, did it?
"You there?" Brad asked.
"Yeah, I'm here."
"I don't think she had any intention of cancelling until our new cast member showed up on set."
"New cast member?"
"Lyndel is back from the U.S."
"Lyndel's back?"
"Yup. And she made it clear she was extremely disappointed you weren't on set. She's very excited to catch up with you, Romeo."
Ryan groaned and covered his face with his hand. Sleeping with Lyndel Craig had been a huge mistake. A mistake he'd only made once, but a mistake nonetheless. She'd made it clear she wanted more from him than he was willing to give, so he'd ignored her constant attempts to get him into bed. Unfortunately, the night of her going away party he'd drank too much and wound up sleeping with her. And now she was their new co-star...
"Did Mac ask about her?"
"She did, and I told her to talk to you about it."
"She's going to think the worst."
"I didn't know what to tell her and I don't want to be stuck in the middle. But she knows something happened. She's scared you're going to pull a Westlaker and history is going to repeat itself with Lyndel."
"Did she say that?"
"She did. Again, I told her to talk to you about it. If you want a relationship the two of you need to learn how to talk to each other. That's what relationships are about, after all – lots of blabbing and a general lack of sex. You sure you want one?"
Ryan laughed. "With Mac, yes."
"She should be there soon. And I mean it, you owe me for stepping in."
"I'll give you the leading role in my movie."
"Make the leading lady Emma Stone and I'll be happy."
"No promises on that front."
Brad laughed. "I'm going. Good luck."
"Thanks."
Ryan ended the call and put the phone back on the bench beside him, torn between annoyance and worry. He was annoyed that Mac thought he might pull a Westlaker on her, and worried because he knew it would be hard for her to start a relationship if that was what she thought he was going to do. He had to take Brad's advice. They had to learn to talk to each other – be honest with each other. It was the only way a relationship would work between them.
When he heard the knock on the door and he felt his heart-rate sky-rocket, he reminded himself that talking was the first order of the day. Before they went to bed together again, there were things they had to discuss. However, as he pulled the door open and saw her standing there in a little black dress, eyes smoky, and lips pink and pouty, he realized just how much willpower that was going to take.
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To the people voting, commenting and fanning, I love you guys! My first chapter started off with about 100 reads and I'm amazed at how many people are reading it now. I don't consider myself a newbie writer, but I'm still learning many things about the craft of novel writing. If you've made it this far through the story, you've endured some of my silly mistakes and are to be commended for you patience *giggles*.
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