Lights, Camera, Kiss Me (Original) Chapter 10
"If you break her heart..."
Thanks to my pre-reader Daisy for her feedback, and to LilianeGrouse and Jenn for their editing suggestions <3
I have tweaked this chapter within an inch of its life and now I have no idea if it makes sense, but I really hope it does. *Fingers crossed*. Please enjoy! :-)
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"Where's Mac?"
It was the first question that popped out of Ryan's mouth once he'd finally made his way onto the set on Wednesday morning. They were supposed to be shooting a scene together with Brad and Jazz very shortly, but he couldn't spot his co-star anywhere.
He knew she was avoiding him. After their once-off, and the headline which had broken about her on Sunday, she'd had 'stay away from me' written all over her whenever he went near her. Guilt over his inability to keep his hands off her had made him do just that, but this wasn't like Mac. She was never late on set. He couldn't remember a time in the past year where he'd been on the set before she had.
Jazz looked up from the scripts she was reading. "She got called into Blainesworth's office," she told him.
"What? When?"
"Ten minutes ago," Brad answered, not bothering to hide the fact that he was pissed off to the max about it.
Ryan's guilt-meter went through the roof as Brad glared at him. He'd hoped like hell that their executive producer wouldn't listen to the gossip, but with Mac's history he'd known there was a possibility Blainesworth would be interested in the content of the article.
Brad had thought so too, and he'd pulled Ryan aside during the barbeque on Sunday to tell him in no uncertain terms that if Mac ended up hurt through any involvement with him, it would be the end of their friendship. It had been a shitty conversation to have. Ryan cared about Mac more than anyone else, except his sister. Hurting her was the last thing he would ever want to do and Brad should have understood that.
"You should have seen her face, Ryan," Jazz said to him. "It was awful."
"That would have meant Romeo actually had to be here on time," Brad said snidely.
After tossing and turning all night, Ryan had fallen asleep around five am and slept through his alarm this morning. It was the third morning in a row that he'd done so. His head was a mess. His first on-set kiss with Mac was tomorrow and he hadn't stopped worrying about how they were going to tackle that with the way things were between them now.
The only thought he'd been able to draw any comfort from was the fact that the article hadn't seemed to catch their executive producer's attention. But he couldn't comfort himself with that anymore. Fear clutched at him as he thought about all the things Blainesworth might say to his co-star. He had to fix this.
He might not be able to go back in time and change the fact that he'd been photographed with Mac on Friday night. He could, however, explain to their producer that it had been a misunderstanding and that there was no need to give another thought to the article that had been published by the popular gossip magazine.
"I'll be back shortly," he said.
Brad put his arm out to stop Ryan from going anywhere.
"He doesn't want to see you, Romeo," Brad told him. "Just Mac."
"Well, he's going to see me anyway," Ryan shot back at him.
"You go storming in there and you'll only make everything worse. You'll give Blainesworth even more reason to be suspicious."
"I can't stand here and do nothing."
"Yes, you can. You've done enough already, don't you think?"
"Brad," Jazz said sharply. "There's nothing going on between them. Right, Ryan?"
Brad shook his head. "If that's the truth, then why the hell is she in Blainesworth's office right now?"
"Mac was drunk. We all know she could barely stand by herself on Friday night," Ryan told him. "Someone took a photo and made a few accusations and now it's all being blown out of proportion. And if you let me go right now, I can actually explain that to Blainesworth and stop this from going any further."
"One, Mac can say all that herself. Two, get your head out of the sand. It's not the photo he's going to want to talk to her about," Brad said angrily. "The last time she had a relationship with someone she worked with, it didn't work out so well. Or don't you remember that?"
"Of course I remember, but we're not having a relationship."
"So you say," Brad told him.
"You think I'm lying?"
"I don't know man. You were suppposed to keep your distance."
"Wait," Jazz said. "Why would Ryan be keeping his distance?"
"Ask Ryan," Brad instructed.
Jazz turned to him. "What's he talking about?"
Ryan glared at Brad, but he didn't show any remorse for his slip, he just glared back at him.
"Nothing," Ryan told her.
He didn't know how to explain what was going on between him and Mac. He had done everything he could to keep his distance. Nothing had worked. The pull had just been too strong – for both of them. Jazz wouldn't understand, couldn't understand how hard he'd tried to make sure this didn't happen. If she found out he'd slept with Mac, she'd probably try to kill him – and then he wouldn't have a chance to fix this.
"Our friend isn't here right now," Brad said to him. "If anything happens to her, it will be because of you."
"You're not being fair," Jazz told him.
"Nothing's going to happen," Ryan said, though inside he could feel the fear gripping him tighter now, squeezing his insides and making him feel as if he couldn't breathe properly.
"How can you be sure?" Brad asked both of them. "Have either of you actually asked her if there was any truth to the headline?"
"What am I supposed to say to her? Hey Mac, are you falling for me?"
"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know," Brad admitted. "But if she is, she's as good as finished here. What happens when you start dating someone new? Or your name hits the headline with the party twins again? She's going to spin out."
"You're not giving her enough credit," Jazz told him. "Mac is a different person to the one she was when Danny broke up with her. She'd never let it affect her the same way. And I'm sure Ryan hasn't led her on or encouraged her."
"I would never deliberately hurt her. Surely both of you know that," Ryan said.
"Then I guess you can sleep peacefully if Mac does end up losing her job," Brad flung at him.
The insinuation that he would sleep at all if Mac got fired sliced through him. If Ryan tried to imagine, even for a second, Mac not being there to work with…well, he just couldn't. He couldn't imagine working with someone else. He couldn't imagine Hart's Valley without Mackenzie Lauren as part of it. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it. Shit. What did that mean?
"I need some air," Brad told them.
"If there's any truth at all to what Brad said, you have to fix this, Ryan," Jazz told him as they both watched Brad disappear. "I swear, if you break her heart the way Danny did…"
With that said, Jazz walked away from him too.
* * *
"Mackenzie, do you know why I wanted to see you this morning?"
Mac wondered if this was some kind of trick question. She'd spotted the Women's Daily News magazine on the large maple desk the second she'd walked into Michael Blainesworth's sunlit office. So yes, she knew why she was here. When both Monday and Tuesday had come and gone and her presence hadn't been requested by their executive producer, she'd been lulled into a false sense of security.
It turned out, however, that he'd been out of the office, and that was why she hadn't heard anything. When his assistant had shown up on set this morning with a message that the executive producer wanted to see her, it had sent her into a tail-spin. Now she was doing her best to hold it together.
He couldn't fire her, could he? She hadn't done anything to jeopardize Hart's Valley. In fact, the publicity would probably give them a boost in the ratings considering the season two premiere was airing this week. This would be good for Hart's Valley. However, after what had happened with Danny, she'd gained a reputation for 'losing it' on set. Blainesworth would want to be assured she wasn't headed for another leading-man related meltdown.
"Yes, I know why I'm here," she said to him.
"Good. I'm just going to ask you straight out, Mackenzie. Are you involved in any way with Ryan Moore?"
"We're friends," Mac told him, relieved she didn't have to worry about the ethics of lying to her boss. She spoke nothing but the truth. "That's all."
Michael smiled at her, his blue-grey eyes crinkling at the corners; shaving ten years off his fifty-year-old face. "I'm very happy to hear you say that, Mackenzie. Whilst I couldn't stop you and Ryan from seeing each other, I would have been concerned about what it would mean for the future of Hart's Valley."
"I'd like to think that the mistakes I've made are in my past. I've learned from them."
He smiled at her and nodded. "You fit in here very well, Mackenzie. Your character is well-liked by our viewers, and we have a very exciting storyline planned out for Brianna and Stone that will boost your popularity even further."
"Thank you."
"But make no mistake; the future of Hart's Valley will always be my number one priority."
"Of course."
"Whilst your character is popular, and the chemistry between you and Moore is palpable, no-one is irreplaceable."
"I understand."
"After what happened on Junction Hospital, some would have said that choosing you for the role of Brianna Davis was somewhat risky. In terms of risk, I'd say it's paid off so far, but should that change… Take my advice, Mackenzie. Make your career your number one priority while you're working on Hart's Valley. Am I making myself clear?"
Mac swallowed and nodded. "Yes. Absolutely."
She didn't need it spelled out. If she was to become involved with her leading man, or her work suffered from any kind of involvement with her leading man, she would lose her job.
"Good."
He smiled at her again, as if he'd never threatened to rip the rug out from underneath her and end her career.
"Now, I believe you're expected on set soon."
"Yes."
"Then I best let you get back to it. There is another pressing matter I need to discuss with you, but that can wait until later. Have a good day, Mackenzie."
* * *
Mac glared at the door of the dressing room she shared with Jazz and willed the person currently knocking to stop and leave her alone. Jazz was on set shooting another scene, and Mac was enjoying the quiet and taking some time to process the meeting that she'd had with Blainesworth.
After she'd left his office this morning, her co-stars had all asked her how the meeting had gone. She'd given them a vague sort of answer before they'd had to start shooting. She'd been extremely grateful for the distraction. They'd all seemed so worried that it hadn't been that easy to brush off their concerns, especially Ryan's.
She was pretty sure that his concern was interspersed with guilt, but Ryan didn't need to feel guilty. She was the one who had chosen to drink so much on Friday night that she couldn't walk by herself. She was the one who had asked him for a ride home, resulting in him having to walk her to the car and the photo being taken. And she was the one who hadn't been able to keep her feelings out of the equation. This was her fault. Just hers.
The knocking persisted, followed by the rattle of someone trying to open the locked door.
"All right, all right, I'm coming."
"I was starting to think you weren't in there," Ryan said to her when she pulled the door open.
She immediately felt herself thrown off balance by the sight of him. He was still in the grey suit pants and white shirt he'd been wearing earlier on set, but he'd lost the jacket. His sleeves were rolled up and the top two buttons of his shirt were open, giving him a sexy-casual air that turned her knees to mush. The white of the shirt he wore was a stark contrast to his tanned skin and it made his hair and eyes both seem darker than usual.
"Is it okay if I come in? I need to talk to you, Mac."
Mac ignored the punch of his aftershave and the shiver of awareness she felt as he walked past her. Would she ever get over this? Would she ever get past this cellular memory of his mouth and hands on her? Despite the fact that the dressing room wasn't terribly small, it felt like it was the size of a shoebox as she closed the door behind them and turned around to face him.
His hazel eyes locked with hers immediately, the green in them standing out more than usual right now. She had the strangest feeling he was drinking her in as if it was the first time he'd seen her in months, instead of the couple of hours or so since he'd seen her on-set. His gaze slid down to her mouth and Mac felt her heart begin to thump heavily in her chest.
Without the distraction of a script to follow, or people around them, the longing, the desire, and the deeper emotions she felt for her co-star were rushing through her with such force it was painful.
She'd done her best to avoid him since the barbeque on Sunday, because she knew resisting him after she'd slept with him would be ten times more difficult than it had been before. Not that he wants to sleep with you now that he suspects you're in love with him. She flinched at her own line of thought.
"What's up?" she asked him, thankful her voice sounded stronger and firmer than she felt right now.
"I wanted to be with you in that meeting you had with Blainesworth earlier, but Brad said it would look bad if I made an appearance."
"He was probably right."
Of course it hadn't escaped her attention that Ryan hadn't been called into their meeting. Blainesworth didn't give a fig what Ryan Moore did. Australia's Romeo was one of the best actors still in the country. Their producer would never let him go. Moreover, Ryan was as professional as they came – not that he had any reason not to be. He wasn't the one falling in love with his co-star.
"How did it go? What did the boss have to say?" he asked her.
Mac shrugged. "Just that I should make my career my number one priority while I'm here. He doesn't want to see my work suffer."
"None of us do," Ryan told her. "I mean, you're part of Hart's Valley – our friend. I can't imagine not working with you, Mac."
His words were so sincere and they brought tears to her eyes. She didn't want to lose her role on Hart's Valley either. However, that wasn't the reason her eyes were stinging. He couldn't imagine not working with her. Well, that said everything about how he felt about her now, didn't it? She was just his co-star – someone he enjoyed working with and someone he'd wanted to sleep with. There was nothing underneath that for him. She was nothing more to him.
Pain ripped through her, making her feel as if she were about to tear at the seams. She turned around and busied herself with organizing the make-up on the ledge along the wall furthest from her, underneath the large mirror.
This was good, she told herself. She needed the cold hard slap of reality to bring her life back into clear focus. Blainesworth had essentially threatened her job today, yet here she was, desperately hungry for more from Ryan than he wanted to give her – than what would be good for her.
The entire feminist movement would probably be outraged if they could hear her thoughts right now. Where was her strength? Where was her pride? She could do this. She would get through this. Being rejected by a man wasn't the end of her world. She'd thought it had been the end of the world when Danny had rejected her, but she'd survived then, and she would survive now.
"Providing I don't…lose sight of what I'm doing here, I should be fine," she told him.
She felt his warm hand on her shoulder, felt him standing behind her, but she didn't turn around. She fiddled with the perfume bottle in her hands.
"Are you…losing sight of anything?"
Mac knew what he was asking. Obviously after her meeting with Blainesworth, Ryan had decided he now needed to know how she felt about him. Like their producer, he was probably worried she was headed for a meltdown. She could feel his eyes on her in the mirror, but she couldn't bring herself to look up and meet his gaze. She really didn't know what to say. She didn't want to discuss this with him.
She knew how the conversation would go if she told him that she was indeed falling for him. He would either point out her job was at stake, and use that as the reason they shouldn't be together, or he would explain kindly that he didn't feel the same way about her. Either way she knew it would hurt like hell. The alternative was that she lied to him. Could she do that?
"Mac?"
Ryan felt as if his whole world was standing still as Mac finally looked up, her eyes locking with his in the mirror. He hadn't known exactly what he was going to say to her when he'd knocked on her dressing room door, just that he needed to know she was okay – that they were okay. He needed to make sure she knew how worried he'd been – how much he cared about her.
Despite Brad's suggestion this morning, Ryan hadn't intended to waltz in here and ask his friend and co-star if she was falling for him. The question had just slipped out. But he did want to know. He realized that now. He'd tried to push the question to the back of his mind, but as soon as she'd closed the door it had been the only thing he could think about.
He held his breath as she turned around and faced him.
"No," she said to him. "I'm not losing sight of anything."
She wasn't falling for him. Obviously nothing could have come of it if she was, so this was better, wasn't it? Mac was going to be fine. She wasn't going to lose her job over him. He should feel overjoyed. But he didn't. Instead he felt as if someone had taken a sledge hammer and whacked him in the stomach with it. Repeatedly. He felt devastated. What the hell was wrong with him?
She hadn't lied to him, Mac tried to tell herself. Of course she knew how Ryan would interpret her answer, but that wasn't her problem. She'd told the truth. She wasn't losing sight of anything. She knew where she stood with him. She knew how he felt about her. She could see everything perfectly. Her omission was probably a relief to him.
Fortunately she didn't have time to hear him say as much because Jazz walked into the room right then. Mac's immediate instinct was to run at the other woman and hug her for interrupting any further talk on the matter, but that changed when she took in the way Jazz was biting her lip and the worried expression on her face.
"I have to tell you something," Jazz said to her.
The last time Jazz had said something like that, she'd been carrying the Women's Daily News in her handbag. Surely her name hadn't hit the headlines again already? So why did Jazz look so worried?
"Danny's here," Jazz told her.
"Danny," Mac repeated after a moment. "As in…?"
"As in her dick of an ex-boyfriend? As in Junction Hospital Danny?" Ryan ground out.
"Yes," Jazz nodded. "Danny Westlaker is here and he just walked into our executive producer's office."
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What is Danny doing there?! Shouldn't he be heading to Hollywood to shoot his movie soon?! I know I'm throwing a lot at poor Mac here, but I promise I won't throw more at her than she can handle. Thanks for reading, and please vote/comment <3