Lights, Camera, Kiss Me (Original): Chapter 17
"Be with me."
Thank you to @LilianeGrouse and Jenn for their editing suggestions, and to AJ and Daisy for time they spent pre-reading.
Now. I've had this chapter written for a while, I just haven't been happy with it until recently. Your comments and support have all been so encouraging. And thanks to all of you who contacted me to say you were still waiting for this chapter. I'm pleased to say the next chapter is written, and I'm actually pretty happy with it already, so no long delay on that one.
I don't think this chapter is rated 'R', but others might disagree with me. It does contain some mature content. If that kind of thing isn't your cup of tea, I recommend you skip part of the chapter. Dedication is for TheChameleon, for the wonderful cover she made me. *Hugs*. And Happy New Year!
Lots of love to all of you,
Michelle
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Mac stood in the kitchen the following morning, waiting for her toast to pop up. She was acutely aware of the sexy, spicy scent of Ryan's cologne as he stood beside her. Heat curled through her as she inhaled it. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been invited by a man to stay for sex and breakfast. Danny had always used the excuse of having an early morning to get her to leave the night before.
"I think we'll be fine, Mac," Ryan said.
She watched him spoon coffee and sugar into two mugs. "I really don't think it's a good idea."
"I've given you a ride into work plenty of times before."
"Yes, but it's different now."
"Why? Because we had crazy, monkey sex all night long?" Ryan asked, a knowing smile tugging at his lips.
Mac felt herself blush as his gaze met hers. He looked so sexy with dark stubble dotting his jaw. She inhaled deeply as raw need settled in low in her belly.
"Yes. Because we had crazy, monkey sex all night long."
"You do look like you've been…well loved," he said smugly.
She was definitely looking a little worn out today. She'd had two hours sleep last night, tops, before she'd forced herself out of Ryan's warm and comfortable bed. The fact that she hadn't expected to spend the night meant she hadn't brought anything with her to wear this morning. After her shower she'd climbed into a pair of Ryan's old sweatpants and a jumper – sans underwear. It certainly wouldn't take a genius to figure out what they'd been up to.
Getting up early was the only way to make sure the media didn't catch sight of her. She couldn't, however, be certain that his neighbours wouldn't decide to whip their phones out and snap a photo of her if they were up. Staying the night had been a bad idea, but she'd been too consumed by him; too caught up in a whirlwind of pleasure that had never let up from the first kiss.
The conversation she'd promised herself she'd have with him had never happened. She was no closer to believing this could work than she had been when she'd sat down to dinner with him last night. Now the morning had arrived, and with it the glaring reality of her impossible situation. If she walked away from this – from him – she'd regret it, and it would break her heart. And if she lost her job because of what was happening between them, she'd regret that too.
"I know you love catching trams," Ryan said jokingly, "but you should really let me give you a ride home."
Yes, public transport was definitely out. There was no way she was doing a public walk of shame. But being caught out with her co-star at seven am in the morning wasn't much better, was it?
"I need a car," she said impulsively.
He laughed. "Finally, she admits it. It's only taken how long for you to see the Melbourne public transport system isn't all it's cracked up to be?"
"Yes. You were right. I should have bought a car a while ago."
It was the first time she'd ever admitted the novelty of using trams and trains had worn off. She'd put off looking for a car because she didn't know anything about buying one. Ryan had always been the most logical choice to help her with car shopping, but she'd been avoiding him for the past three weeks. Now, however, she wished she'd just asked Matt or Brad to help her, because not having a car this morning might really be about to land her in hot water.
"We can go look at cars this weekend if you want. Of course, my expertise doesn't come free," he told her, wrapping an arm around her waist and sliding her along the bench, so she was standing in front of him.
If she wasn't photographed with Ryan this morning, then there was a good chance the two of them would be photographed together if she went car shopping with him on the weekend. Clearly, however, he wasn't thinking about that. How can you expect him to remember what's at stake, when you lose sight every time he touches you?
"I…I don't know, Ryan."
He stopped smiling. "Matt and Brad will probably want to come, too, if you're worried about people seeing us together."
"I don't want to make the headlines again. And we never did any talking last night."
"No. We didn't."
Perhaps that had been a mistake, Ryan thought. They'd been so busy enjoying and exploring each other all evening that they hadn't discussed the things they'd needed to. He couldn't remember ever being as insatiable as he had been last night. He couldn't remember the last time he'd needed a woman so badly. Being in love had increased his libido exponentially. He hadn't been able to get enough. The night had been incredible, maybe even the best of his life, but now if felt as if the moment of reckoning was upon them.
He hoped he'd persuaded Mac that they were worth taking a chance on, because he had no idea how he was going to react if she turned around and said she didn't want a relationship with him. He felt as if his heart was hanging in the balance. It wasn't a feeling he was familiar with, or comfortable with – this feeling of utter vulnerability. He wondered if she really understood just how much she affected him, how much he loved her and how much he wanted to be with her.
"I don't know how this relationship can work without us being seen together by anyone, without us getting caught," she said to him, looking down. "Without me losing my job."
He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and raised her gaze to meet his. "The question is, Mac: do you want this to work out between us?"
"Of course I do. But how can this possibly end well? I mean, Blainesworth…"
"Yeah, he's not going to like it."
"Ryan, I really don't want to lose my job."
Fear gripped him. Did that mean she didn't even want to try? He knew her history. He knew that there was an immense amount at risk here. He understood why she was scared. But she wasn't the only one who was afraid here, damn it. Yes, their relationship wouldn't be a walk in the park. And yes, there would be risks and complications, and a boss who wouldn't like it. But he was game. He was ready. He wanted this. He wasn't letting go.
"Listen, Mac," he said, sweeping the hair off her forehead and tucking it behind her ear, "I know you're afraid-"
"Yes, I'm afraid. Anyone could see us together. We got so caught up in rushing to bed last night that I didn't even think once about the fact that someone might see me leaving with you this morning. I just didn't think. At all. All it will take is one photo of us together and my career is potentially over. "
There was a slightly hysterical element to her voice. She wouldn't lose her job if he had anything to do with it, but she was right about one thing. Blainesworth would inevitably find out about them sooner or later. Trying to pull the wool over their producer's eyes wasn't going to work for them. They had to be smart about this.
"Well," he said, pausing for maximum impact. "What if we go straight to Blainesworth this morning and tell him about us?"
She was looking at him now as if he'd lost his mind. "Do you remember what he said to me when he saw the headline about us? He's going to fire me, Ryan. He's going to ask me to leave because I couldn't keep my 'priorities' in order."
"He won't."
"It's what he-"
"He can't fire us. We're not in breach of contract, and we haven't done anything wrong. In fact, if we go forward this morning and clue him in to what's happening, if we explain that we want to be open and honest with him, then he can't do anything. We're acting with integrity. We're not trying to fool him. We're not trying to pull a fast one on him. In the interest of full disclosure, we're revealing our romantic relationship and he'll have no option but to accept it – begrudgingly or not."
"I don't-"
"Can you imagine the fuss if two Hart's Valley stars were fired for falling in love?"
"Ryan," she said softly, "I don't think you're in any danger of being fired."
"I'm not going to let Blainesworth fire you. I told you before – if you leave, I leave. If you're not there, I don't want anything to do with the show. I'd walk out on Blainesworth in a heartbeat if he pulls anything."
"I don't want you to have to do that. I don't want you to lose your job. Not because of me."
"And I'm hoping it won't come to that, but if it does, I'll deal with it. There are plenty of ways to make a living in this world, Mac. There's only one woman I'm in love with."
Mac had no idea how she was supposed to respond to that. The man she loved stood before her, so strong, so sure, so willing to sacrifice everything. For her. He was ready to take any of the potential consequences that being together might bring. So, why wasn't she?
Because you don't want to be the actress known for making the same mistake twice.
Brad had told her a month ago that she needed to toughen up and forget what everyone thought about her, and she knew he was right, of course. But she was still working on it – still working on ignoring the media, and the idea of having to endure a second round of public humiliation for dating and then being dumped by her co-star was simply terrifying. And with Lyndel back…
And that right there, Mac realized, was the crux of the problem. She still expected this romance – which felt like it had started overnight – to crash and burn at any given moment. Ryan was Australia's Romeo. The three month man. Mr. Casual. Sure, right now he loved her, but how long would that last? How long would they be a couple for before it all went south? Their relationship would end up being very public, and therefore so would a break-up. And with Lyndel Craig back on the scene, the chances for a repeat of the incident on Junction Hospital became much higher.
But he doesn't love Lyndel Craig. He loves you, Mac. How can you turn away from a man who's willing to do anything for you? He's not like Danny at all. This isn't history repeating itself.
"I love you, Mac," he said. "I'd never try and convince you to do anything I thought would hurt you. Please trust me with this."
His gaze caught and held hers. Impossible. It was all just so impossible. How could she stand there and tell him she wasn't sure she believed in them – in him – as much as he did? She couldn't. She could only take a giant leap of faith and pray she didn't lose everything in the process.
"You really think Blainesworth will accept us being together if we talk to him?" she asked him hopefully.
"If Blainesworth actually removes his head from his ass, he'll see that us dating is a good thing for Hart's Valley. Our relationship would be better publicity than anything he could pay for."
"Providing everything works out between us," she said, before she could stop herself.
He stared deeply into her eyes. "It will, Mac. It will."
Her fear was so palpable that Ryan could practically feel it radiating off her. She was clearly terrified of talking to Blainesworth, but she had to know he would never steer her wrong. He hated seeing the doubt in her eyes. He hated the fact she was afraid. But most of all, he hated the fact that she seemed to be so unsure about whether things would work out between them. Of course he couldn't guarantee they'd live happily ever after, but she needed to start trusting in him, trusting in them. And the sooner, the better.
"Okay," she said softly.
"You're going to trust me?"
"Let's talk to Blainesworth."
The relief coursing through him right now was so strong it took him over. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Her response was a little tentative at first, but soon she was kissing him back and, as usual, he was left feeling dizzy and breathless. He was so caught up in her; it was crazy. Every kiss, every touch, drew him in so much deeper. He swept his tongue along hers as his hands skimmed inside the elastic of the pants he'd loaned her. When he realized she wasn't wearing any underwear, all the available blood in his body rushed south, making him so hard it hurt. He deepened the kiss and palmed her sweet ass.
"God, Mac."
"We'll be late," she said as she ground her hips against his.
"Don't care," he replied.
Mac knew her thoughts should be on getting to work and the inevitable meeting with Blainesworth, but all she wanted right now was to be possessed by Ryan, to feel him inside her, filling her up. The last few weeks had been so full of turmoil, and being in Ryan's arms, feeling his heat, his body against hers, was exactly what she needed right now to feel okay.
"Mackenzie," he whispered, as he pressed a kiss to her neck.
She lifted her arms up in the air and Ryan whipped the jumper over her head. Reaching behind herself with one hand, she unclasped her bra. As soon as it landed on the ground, it was replaced by Ryan's hands cupping her breasts. He rubbed the already hardened peaks with his thumbs, before lowering his head and drawing one into his mouth. She ran her hands through his hair and arched her back as incredible sensation after sensation raced through her.
"Condom," she said to him.
"In the bedroom," he replied as he pushed the pants off her hips.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, very aware of the way her hot, naked centre was pressed against the hard length of him through his jeans. The moment he laid her on the bed, she reached out and trailed her thumb lightly over his face. He looked at her tenderly for one long moment before he kissed her again. She felt herself growing slicker as his tongue stroked hers. The smell of him, the taste of him, the rasp of his stubble against her – it all interfered with any rational and logical thought.
Then he suddenly pulled away. Needing him to come back, needing to touch him, she reached out, but he had other ideas on his mind. He licked his way down her belly, then across her hip, before finally settling between her legs.
"Ryan."
Her body lifted off the bed the moment he set his tongue in motion there. Her hands fisted in his hair as he pleasured her, and as her orgasm approached she couldn't stop her hips from moving under his mouth. He held her hips still as the vibrations of his laugh propelled her towards the finish line. She felt her whole body tensing up; felt the heat inside her build and build, making her burn and tingle all the way to her toes.
"Ryan," she pleaded. "I'm so close."
His lips closed around the bundle of nerves between her legs before he gave her one final flick with his tongue and sent her soaring. Fireworks exploded in a million different colours behind her eyes as she cried out. She became vaguely aware of Ryan shucking his clothes in the background.
"Mac."
Ryan couldn't resist getting Mac to look at him as he readied himself to take her. Her bright blue gaze locked with his as he began to sink into her, inch by inch. She was still tight, still pulsing with the aftershocks of her orgasm, and he was unbelievably close to finding his own release as her body gripped his in welcome. Her arms came up to wrap around him and pull him down to her, and then his mouth was on hers as he slid the rest of the way inside her.
She moaned into his mouth and moved her hips urgently against his. He was so close to losing it, and he was nowhere near ready for this to be over yet.
She yanked her mouth away from his suddenly. "Condom," she panted.
He swore. He never forgot to put a condom on, but he had just now. There was nothing between them. The thought made him even harder; pushed him right to the edge as he moved and felt her silken walls caress him. He'd always believed it was better to be safe than sorry, but for the first time in his life he really didn't want to use one. Not with Mac. Being with the woman he loved, like this, was the closest thing to heaven he'd ever experienced.
"Do we need one?" he asked.
"I'm protected. Are you…"
"I'm clean."
"Be with me then," she whispered, before dragging his mouth back to hers.
Her legs came up to wrap around him, anchoring him to her. It was all the encouragement he needed. Unable to resist giving them both what they needed, he drew back and pressed forward, thrusting as deeply as the position would allow.
Mac could scarcely breathe as Ryan's hot gaze caught and held hers. With every stroke of his body into hers, she felt her climax nearing. He was close too, judging by the way his muscles were tensing under her hands. He pumped into her as he held her tightly. And as she hit her peak a second time, Mac knew she'd made the right decision. No matter how long this relationship lasted, it would be worth it. Risking everything might be a mistake, but missing out on this would have been the biggest mistake of her life.
* * *
Mac paced around her dressing room. Ryan had driven her home and then to work, and after he finished filming his first scene for the day, they were going to go up and talk to Blainesworth. She was so nervous she couldn't concentrate on the script she was supposed to be reading, and now that Ryan wasn't around to make her feel better with his positive talk, she was questioning whether talking to Blainesworth was really the right move.
Their producer had made his position on the relationships between his stars obvious. And he'd gone out of his way to warn her that involving herself with Ryan would be a very bad career choice. She wanted to believe what Ryan had said, about Blainesworth would see the silver lining in the situation – but what if he didn't?
At least she'd avoided Jazz this morning. She could just imagine the disappointed look on her friend's face, and hear her comments about Ryan's inability to commit, when she realized Mac had gone against her advice and decided to date Ryan anyway. Of course she was going to tell Jazz what had happened. She just couldn't deal with her friend's doubts and comments about Ryan right now.
A sudden knock on the door stopped her pacing. She rushed to open up, hoping it was Ryan. Instead, however, it was Danny standing there in the doorway.
"Danny. Hi. What are you doing here?"
They didn't have a scene today. In fact, she was pretty certain Danny was done with his scenes for the week.
"I had to talk to the boss about something. While I was here I thought I'd just swing by; see how you're doing today. Can I come in?"
Mac stood to the side and he walked past her. Instead of taking a seat on the couch like she'd expected him to, he remained standing.
"What's up?" she asked him.
"I've been an idiot, Mac," he said, shaking his head. "I've been waiting for Angel to come round, hoping she'll eventually realize she wants me back."
"I know."
"But then she called me last night, and when she mentioned getting together and talking, I couldn't think about anything other than how much…how much I really liked kissing you again yesterday. It was just like old times. I think letting you go might have been the biggest mistake of my life. I think…I think I want you back."
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A/N: This author endorses safe sex, lol. My characters are fictional and therefore aren't at risk.
Of course I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter. Please feel free to comment/vote if you liked it ;-)