Rockstar Bay Academy: Part 12
Ruin Me
“How are things with Asher?” Luke asks across the candlelit table.
The Bayview Hotel has one of the nicest menus in Rockstar Bay, and I was pleased when Luke booked us a table here for our first date. Well, our first date without friends to chaperone us, anyway. Luke doesn’t have a lot of Friday nights off because he’s usually the rostered manager on duty at the cinema, but he swapped a shift so he could take me out.
Our date has been the only distraction from the nightmare that is my life right now, the only bright spot in this incredibly shitty week. While all my friends are buzzing with news about their partners and starting to plan their duets, I’m doing my best to feel happy for them while trying not to feel sorry for myself.
“He's just so...”
“Annoying?” Luke asks. “Entitled? Arrogant? Though, I guess if you're going to date Maddison Taylor, you're entitled to be a bit arrogant.” He smiles when he sees the look on my face.
“He's screwing with my whole life, and he doesn't even realize it.”
Luke’s mouth turns down at the corner. “That's a bit dramatic, don't you think? I mean, not everybody gets into the Showcase. Is it really a big deal if you don't get in?”
“I've worked towards this since I started at the Academy, Luke. The Showcase is the only way to get a perfect score.”
“Yeah, but you'll get another chance to get into the showcase as a solo artist, right?”
“I will, but this is my best bet.”
“Except for the fact that you're partnered with Asher,” Luke says as if I need reminding.
“Yes.”
“Well, that sucks, but at least you’ll have another shot. Just focus on that because it sounds like there’s really nothing else you can do.”
I don’t know whether Luke is trying to soothe my feelings or downplay the whole thing. His nonchalance is dismissive, but I can tell he’s done talking about Asher. I really can’t blame him. Luke has copped most of my complaints via text this week. Quite frankly, I’m impressed he still wanted to take me on a date.
I better change the subject before Asher finds a way to ruin this dinner and sabotage my relationship without even trying to.
“Uni starts for you in a couple of weeks, right?” I ask, changing the subject.
Luke quickly takes control of the conversation, talking about how he wants to go into sports medicine. I think sports medicine sounds cool, and I ask about the subjects Luke’s taking this year, but our conversation peters out quickly when he goes into detailed descriptions of each of his classes.
“You're not really interested in this, are you?” Luke asks.
“I am,” I tell him, even though I am struggling to pay attention.
Luke has listened to me moan about Asher all week and I can’t give him my undivided attention?
“I'm sorry,” I tell him. “I suck at this. And honestly, sports medicine sounds amazing, and it's far more interesting than listening to me talk about Asher.”
Luke smiles, placated. Our food arrives, and we enjoy the rest of our meal with as much conversation as we can about the cinema. Because that seems to be the only common ground we can find. Whenever we take that out of the equation, the conversation falls flat.
Dating Ethan was easy because we had music in common. I can make small talk with Luke, and I enjoy his company, but he’s insanely focused on sports, stats, and athletes, and I’m focused on, well, music. I’ve never been a jock or athlete, and I don’t know things, like which team won the Australian Basketball Championship.
When Luke drops me home, I stay in the car with him, making out. But when he puts his hand on my knee, sliding it under my skirt, I stop him because it doesn’t feel right.
Even though I’m still a virgin, I’m far from inexperienced. I’m certainly not a prude. Still, this feels like we’re moving too quick. Luke sighs and leans back in his seat, looking irritated, but I smile and give him a quick kiss, thanking him for dinner before getting out of his car.
Not only do we not have a lot in common, but we want to move at different speeds physically, too. As I walk inside the mansion, I can’t help asking: how long can we possibly last?
Saturday rolls around, and I decide to ask Ethan for advice on my duet. I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off without a partner, but I have to do something. There’s no way I’ll make the showcase now, and I might even have to stand on the stage and perform the damn duet by myself, but I can’t sit back and just do nothing.
Since Tuesday morning, when I spoke to Mr Watkins about switching, I’ve done my best to avoid Asher. Worried for me, Ethan asked Asher several times to work with me or swap partners. Asher, however, completely ignored him. And when Ethan went to Jesse about it, Asher pulled a similar stunt to the one he pulled with Mr Watkins, telling his father that Ethan kept meddling instead of letting him and I work through things.
Essentially, he made Ethan look like a whiner and overprotective stepbrother. Jesse instructed Ethan to leave Asher and me to figure things out without his help.
Since then, Ethan hasn’t said anything to me about the duet, and I know he has his own performance to work on, but I’m desperate for guidance. Ethan knows his brother’s sound and style better than anyone. Maybe he can step in for Asher until I can figure something else out. It’s not ideal, but it’s the best option I have at this point.
I search the entire house for Ethan. I was sure he didn’t have plans to go out this morning, but I can’t find him anywhere. When I run into Jesse in the kitchen, I ask, “Do you know where Ethan is?”
Jesse frowns. “He’s in the studio, isn’t he?”
“With the band?”
I didn’t think they had a rehearsal scheduled until this afternoon, but maybe they’re getting an early start on things. Asher’s door was closed when I left my bedroom, though, and I thought – hoped – he was still asleep.
“He’s not with M.O.D,” Jesse says. “He’s working on his duet, I believe.”
“Oh.”
In other words, he’s with Ainsley and now is not the best time to approach him. I thank Jesse and head back to my room, getting stuck into my latest English assignment and Math homework while I’m waiting for him to finish,
Two hours later, I still haven’t seen Ethan. Not knowing whether he has stopped working with Ainsley and the two of them have gone out or not, I bite the bullet and head down to the studio to see if he is still there. If he is, I won’t interrupt, I just want to know if I missed him or if he’s still working.
I take the elevator down to the floor below the house, the one Jesse soundproofed so that none of the floors above it can hear the music.
As soon as I step out of the elevator, I hear Ainsley laugh. Obviously, Ethan and Ainsley aren’t done yet.
I should leave, go back to my room, and continue my homework, but curiosity gets the better of me. Quietly, I creep into the sound room so I can see into the studio through the tinted window. Ethan sits on a stool, holding his guitar, strumming it absently as he smiles at Ainsley. Ainsley sits opposite him, writing things down in her notebook every time Ethan speaks. When Ethan says something and Ainsley beams at him, it’s obvious as hell they’re getting along just fine as partners.
If I stand here any longer, the envy I feel over their easy partnership may just shatter me, but I can’t seem to force my feet to move. After a couple of minutes, Ethan begins to play, and when Ainsley joins in, singing softly but confidently, I’m beyond crushed. It’s been less than a week since the partner list came out, and yet already their song is solid. I’d even go so far as to say it’s…good.
Like me, Ainsley is not the strongest songwriter, and her audition song was criticised by the judges. But with the help from a good partner; a talented one willing to throw themselves wholeheartedly into the process of creating something with her, she’s killing it. And now, Ainsley probably has an excellent chance of making it into the showcase with her duet.
“I should have expected to find you down here.”
Whirling around, I see Asher standing behind me, propped against the doorframe of the sound room. I didn’t hear the elevator come down or go back up. I was so lost in my own thoughts, so caught up in the feeling of jealousy and envy twisting inside my chest that I didn’t hear the devil at my back.
Today, he's dressed in a tight black t-shirt and ripped blue jeans. His dark hair is messy as if he just rolled out of bed, and his black eyes are full of the usual disgust that would draw a reaction from me any other time. Right now, I’m too lost in regret and misery to care much about whatever it is he’s thinking.
Taking my silence as acquiescence, he shakes his head and steps towards me. “After all this time you’re still pathetically chasing after him like he’ll come back to you. Don't you get it? He's not coming back to you. Not now. Not ever.”
“I don’t care about him coming back to me, Asher.”
There’s no bite to my words, and he studies me quietly for a moment before he sneers.
“If that were the case, you wouldn’t be down here, staring at Ainsley and wishing you could take her place right now.”
I face Asher more fully, hoping Ainsley and Ethan can’t hear us. “I do wish I could take her place. But not because she’s Ethan’s girlfriend.”
“Bullsh-”
“But because she has a partner for the duet – a real partner,” I cut him off. “Someone who will stand up with her and help her be the best musician she can be. Meanwhile, I’m stuck with you.”
“And I’m not Ethan.”
“That’s right, you’re not. Ethan may be my ex, but he knows how much this means to me, and would put his heart and soul into working together. I know I'm not the best musician, but I had a shot of getting into the showcase with a good partner. Ethan knows I need that perfect score to get into A.U.O.M. He knows music is my life, and this is all I’ve been working towards for years.”
He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “And that's why you're upset? You're upset that Ainsley has someone who will help her, not that she’s Ethan’s girlfriend?”
I throw my hands up in the air. “Don't you get it? I'm moving on from Ethan. I’m dating someone else. All I want to do now is focus on the showcase, but I can’t perform a duet by myself. You won’t work with me. You told Mr Watkins you don’t want to swap partners. You told your dad we would work things out, but you want to see me fail.”
He swallows hard, something akin to guilt flashing in his eyes before he goes back to glaring at me. At least he’s silent. I take advantage of that, advancing on him
“Do you know how hard I worked on my audition?” I ask. “I put everything into it, Asher. I've never worked so hard on anything. I stood up in front of every senior, giving it everything I had, risking humiliation and your wrath because I believed that if I did a good job and worked hard, I would get a partner who helped me become a better musician. Instead, I got you.”
He continues glaring at me, but I’m not backing down. Angry tears threaten to spill over. I blink them away, glaring back at him through glassy eyes. I have never been so angry with anyone, ever. And while being annoyed with Asher is hardly new to me, this goes beyond what I’ve ever felt before.
“This is all just a game to you,” I croak out, shaking my head. “You don't care because your future is set, and even if it wasn’t, you would get into the showcase. But it won’t be that easy for me. Getting into A.U. O. M is the only thing that matters and the one goal I have aspired to. Your refusal to work with me is costing me the only shot I have.”
Because we both know that getting in as a solo act is unlikely for me.
“The showcase really means that much to you?” Asher asks.
“Yes! How do you not know that?” I shake my head and laugh, though amused is the last thing I feel. “What am I asking?” I sigh. “If you knew me at all, you wouldn't say the hurtful things about me that you do. You have no idea how hard my mum worked to get me into that school because according to you, Mum is a gold-digger and I’m a user.”
Why am I even saying all of this? It’s hopeless. And yet I can’t walk away until I’m done trying to explain this to him. I need him to know how much his refusal to work together is destroying me right now.
Asher scratches his neck, looking away before looking back at me, brows drawn down. “But you could look past what I said enough to work with me? You want to get into the showcase that badly?”
I stare at him. “Haven’t you listened to everything I’ve just said? I don't care that we’re enemies or at war or whatever. I don't care about anything except getting into the showcase and improving. I want to be a better songwriter.”
“Okay.”
“What do you mean, okay?”
“What do you think I mean? I mean, okay, let's do this. I'll work with you, and we'll get into that showcase.” He scowls and throws me a dark look. “But you better prioritize this above everything else.”
Irritation boils under my skin, causing my blood to sizzle. I want to scowl back at him, tell him he’s deaf and a dickhead and then remind him that I just said the showcase is my only priority. But I keep my mouth shut; I can’t taunt him at this crucial point in time.
“You’ll really work with me?” I ask. “Write a song with me?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” He walks around me in a circle, watching me as though he’s silently cataloguing all my flaws. “You said you want to be a better songwriter. God knows you could do with some mentoring.”
I flip him the bird before I can think better of it, causing him to smirk.
“Real mature, Lilah.”
I should never have agreed to work with the devil.
“Meet me in my room in 15 minutes,” he says, turning on his heel and stalking away from me before I can question him further or tell him off for being a dictator.
I’m furious at him and his holier-than-thou attitude. I hate how easily he has judged me and the way he held my hopes in the palms of his hands, happily crushing them to dust at first opportunity. But I need him. It isn’t a duet without him.
Of course, all of this could just be an act of sabotage on his part, except he’s usually honest about his intentions to hurt or ruin me. It’s not his way to be sneaky. So, I have no option but to proceed and hope that somehow my enemy and I can write a song that blows the others out of the water and gets me into the showcase.
Here’s praying for a miracle.
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this update. And a belated happy new year to all of you! <333
Thank you for updating. Happy New Year ❤️