Rockstar Bay Academy: Part 31
A Case of Bad Timing
Lilah
Asher doesn't kiss me tentatively or with uncertainty. Instead, his lips are filled with the longing of someone who has been waiting for this moment for a long time. He takes everything I am willing to give him, as if he's afraid I'll be ripped away from him. The simple contact of our lips meeting sends heat and electricity through me, and goosebumps break out across my skin. It's like the best song I’ve ever heard.
The kiss deepens, growing more passionate by the second. His hands cup my face, and he caresses my cheeks with his thumbs as if memorizing my features. I don't care that we're in a car, parked outside our shared home on a school night. Right now, I don’t even care that Ethan and Ainsley could catch a ride back here and catch us. Being with him like this, kissing him like this, feels too good.
My hands wander to his chest and then under his shirt, feeling the muscles of his stomach and tracing them with my fingertips, causing him to tremble. He pulls away, his eyes wide and dark. I think he's going to tell me we should stop, but instead, he undoes my seatbelt and pulls me into his lap. I express my approval when he flips a lever and lowers his seat, positioning me so I'm straddling him. His lips find mine again, and the ache between my legs and the wet heat throbbing there becomes unbearable as his tongue strokes mine. I made out with Luke in his car a few times, but this is a thousand times more intense. Maybe it's because I've secretly desired Asher for much longer than I'd ever admit.
“Asher,” I whisper between kisses, savouring the feel of his lips on mine.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this,” he murmurs back, his breath hot against my skin.
I'm certain I do. How many times have I fantasized about this or something similar? Too many times to count.
My head falls back as his hot mouth slides over my neck, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. He starts trying to tug off my jacket, and I start unbuttoning his shirt before removing my top by pulling it over my head. I want to be as close to him as I can be, feeling the heat of his skin against mine.
He swears when he takes me in, sitting in his lap, naked except for my skirt, boots, and red lace bra.
“Have I told you you’re perfect?”
My nipples harden into jagged peaks as his thumb slides over one, then the other, through the lace of my bra. I feel as though I'm on the verge of unravelling, every inch of my body tingling with ecstasy. My panties are dampened with arousal, and when he pulls down my bra and takes a nipple into his mouth, his scorching tongue flickering along the stiff peak, the pressure between my thighs and the delicious throbbing ache become unbearable.
He slides my skirt up my thighs and draws me close, our hips near touching. He is hot and hard beneath me, his smell driving me wild. But it's the way he devours me with his eyes that truly sets me alight; he can't tear away his gaze or miss a second of my desire. I pant and rock against him, savouring the friction, yet still wanting more.
When I let out a desperate whimper, he cups my thigh, causing shudders to ripple through me; his fingers lightly draw patterns on my skin that burn like fire. And then his fingers slide lower between my legs, caressing the space between my thighs while his lips cover mine.
That is all it takes for me to fly apart.
With just one kiss and some gentle touches, pleasure wracks my body. His fingers then slip beneath the red lace of my panties and seek out the dampness of me. I want to tell him to stop-that I'm too sensitive for more-but he murmurs encouraging words, telling me how much he loves seeing me come and how long he's wanted this moment. His thumb moves slowly and expertly, finding all the right spots until an intense orgasm crashes over me. Arching backward, I cry out, riding each wave until oblivion envelops me and I sink against him.
He holds me tightly against him as I come down from the high, and when he takes his hand away, I feel strangely bereft without it. Minutes later, my body is still shaking from the sheer force of my orgasm, my knees like jelly and my heart still pounding in my ears as Asher and I leave the confines of the car and head inside. We walk up to my bedroom in silence. His eyes are still dark with desire, and he pulls me close for one last kiss. Our tongues entwine, exploring each other's mouths gently in the heat of the moment.
My heart skips a beat when I see the smirk on his face, and I ache to invite him into my room so we can finish what we started. I’ve never felt so on edge, never felt so ready to take the next step. He tenderly tucks a lock of hair behind my ear; this isn’t the first time he’s done it, but there’s something in his gaze that feels more intimate, and somehow possessive. Like he knows I can still feel his lips against mine from a few moments ago and the warmth of his hand between my legs that brought me to climax, and he loves the thought.
"Thanks for taking me to the party," I murmur.
"You're welcome," he replies, not averting my gaze. After a few moments, he adds softly, "I need to talk to my brother."
My heart jumps in alarm, even as nervous anticipation makes excitement wing its way through my belly. "Do you really think it's wise?"
"If I ever want to kiss you again…then yes."
"You want to kiss me again?"
“I want to do a lot more than kiss you again, but yeah. I’m going to be thinking about that kiss all night.”
He isn’t the only one. The image of him touching himself sends more heat spiralling through me. Again, it’s an effort not to invite him into my room. Perhaps he’s feeling the same desire to keep exploring each other because he takes a step back and clenches his hands, as though he won’t be able to resist temptation if he doesn’t put distance between us.
“Good night, Lilah.”
I watch as he reaches his door, then looks back at me to give me one long lingering look. Only once he opens his door and disappears from my sight do I breathe again. He says he's going to talk to his brother. Is there any hope Ethan will give us his blessing?
I'm so lost in my own thoughts the next morning that I don't see Ethan sitting at the bench eating his breakfast in the kitchen until he greets me.
"Morning."
I blink, trying to clear the Asher-related daze I've been in since I woke up. "Hey."
Ethan has avoided me for most of the last school term. First because he and Asher seemed to have a pact that they would after the party at our place, and then when we went out for dinner for my mother’s birthday...well, a cold war has been brewing between us since then. It's almost like he can't stand to look at me. At the party last night, he looked like he was ready to tear me apart and actually might have if I hadn't hightailed it away from Asher and his friends.
So, considering he's been avoiding me, it's a shock to see him sitting there, almost as if he's been waiting for me. For a moment, I even wonder if Asher has spoken to him, and he's here to confront me. Heat blows through my veins as I relive my kiss with Ethan's half-brother in staggering detail. I'd imagined it so many times before last night, but now that I know how his lips feel on mine, I know the fantasies don't compare to the real thing.
"You're up early," I say, knowing my face is flushed and hoping he doesn't have any idea why.
His face falls as he looks at his breakfast. "I didn't sleep at all."
"I'm sorry," I say, pulling stuff out of the cupboards to make my breakfast.
Once I've poured myself cereal, I climb onto the stool beside him. I haven't even managed a spoonful of cereal before he spills what kept him awake.
"Ainsley and I broke up."
If anything had been in my mouth, I'd have choked on it. I put my spoon down and look at him.
"Ethan, I'm-"
To say I'm sorry would be a lie. "No wonder you didn't sleep well," I settle on.
He shrugs. "It's been a long time coming."
They hadn't seemed happy at the party last night. Almost the minute they'd come through the door, they'd gone their separate ways. And their duet had been... they lacked chemistry, and it had been obvious to everyone, even the teachers.
"What triggered it?" I ask carefully, not sure if he even wants to discuss this with me.
Ethan turns to face me fully. "You."
"What? Ethan-"
"Don't say anything, please, Lilah.” His expression is blank. Resigned. “I know I messed up. I know I screwed up everything between us, and I'm not asking for a second chance. I’m going to live with that regret forever. I just... I couldn't pretend anymore, okay? Not that I was ever really good at it, but I was better before... before you started working on the duet with Asher."
My stomach sinks with a combination of dread and heartache. Ethan hurt me so badly, and now I'm scared I'm going to hurt him just as badly. As much as Ethan has hurt me, and as angry as I've been with him over the way he started dating Ainsley, her maliciousness, and his actions at times, he has been a friend and someone I once loved with all my heart. When he hurts, I hurt for him.
But in this moment, my heart isn't just breaking for him; it's breaking for me too. Asher said he was going to speak to his brother, and I assumed he was going to talk about pursuing things with me. Is there any way he's going to go through with it when he hears Ethan's news? Ethan is watching me intently, turning his body towards me.
"I never stopped loving you, Lilah. I tried to, for the sake of MOD, because Asher made it seem like it was what was best for the band. I tried, Lilah, and I failed. Ainsley was never going to take your place, and eventually, she got sick of trying to."
At that moment, Asher walks into the kitchen, and from the way his eyes flick between me and Ethan, he can feel the tension in the room. Asher's eyes hold mine for a moment, and I forget how to breathe as the memories of last night hit me: the imprint of his lips against mine, the way he rubbed me through my panties and sucked my nipple into his mouth. It's all I can do not to shiver and flush as desire clenches low in my belly.
"What's going on?" he asks, tearing his gaze away from mine.
"Ainsley and I broke up last night," Ethan says matter-of-factly, as if he's announcing the weather forecast for the day.
Asher darts a look at me, panic clear in his dark eyes before he schools his features and turns back to his brother.
"Well, fuck."
Ethan laughs humourlessly, shaking his head. "Nothing else to say?"
"It's a bit sudden?"
It comes out as more of a question, and Ethan glares at his brother. "You and I both know there's nothing sudden about it. I'm still in love with someone else. Expecting it to work with Ainsley put me in the running for dumbarse of the year." He pauses, holding Asher's gaze. "In fact, some might say that dating Ainsley was arguably dumber than giving up the girl I love in the first place."
With that, he lets his spoon fall into his bowl, splashing milk over the sides before sliding off his stool and exiting without another word. Asher is gripping the kitchen counter so hard, his knuckles are turning white.
"Fuck!"
"Ethan can't still be in love with me," I say on a shaky exhale now that we're alone.
I don't know whether I'm trying to convince him or myself of this.
Asher runs a hand over his face. "He really believes he is."
I wrap my arms around myself. "I guess this is what they call bad timing," I whisper, for lack of anything better to say.
As soon as Asher reciprocates my feelings and is ready to speak to his brother, this happens. His eyes fall on my face, and I half-expect him to turn any anger and frustration he feels in my direction, even though I technically haven't done anything wrong. I didn't make him kiss me. I didn't make him invite me to the party last night. He said it would be fine. The guilt he feels over wanting me has always stood between us, and now here we are again.
I want to put up my shields, protect my heart, and pretend that the fact he's about to choose his brother over me doesn't hurt. But I'm not that good of an actor. There's a connection between us, even stronger after last night. Somehow singing the duet together, going to the party together, and then the kiss afterward has cemented all my longing and desire into something that feels much bigger than anything I’ve experienced before.
After tearing my gaze away from his, I slip from my stool and take my bowl to the sink, washing it before placing it in the dishwasher. With each step, I'm aware of him watching me.
"Hey," he reaches out, his grasp gentle as his fingers encircle my wrist. "Where are you going?"
I shrug. Anywhere but here. I can't stand here and hear him say he can't be with me because of his brother. I've heard it too many times before, and after everything we shared last night, it will be even harder to take.
"Lilah," he waits for me to look at him. "I'm still going to talk to my brother."
I can't hide my shock. "But…you heard what he said."
"I know. And I know I shouldn't want you. I don't deserve you, not after what I put my brother through, not after how I treated you. I know it, but I'm done denying that I feel what I feel. I can't keep fighting it anymore. Can you?"
My mind races with all the reasons why I need to hold back my heart, why dating Asher would be the worst idea ever. MOD is everything to the brothers. I still believe the brothers will always - always - pick each other over me. Ethan was my first love, though he shattered my heart, he's still someone I care about. We're still family. And what about Mum's warning last night about focusing on school only?
But longing and desire in Asher's eyes reflect my own. We can't ignore what happened last night or the connection between us any longer. He isn't the only one who has tried to fight it.
Tried and failed.
I shake my head.
Asher nods. "So, maybe I won't tell him today, but I will talk to him, I promise. Just give me some time. Can you do that?"
"And in the meantime?"
"In the meantime…" His eyes flick down to my mouth, tracing my lips with his gaze, making my heart jump. All I want to do is lean forward and press my lips to his, to forget everything else and just be with him—to revel in the moment like we did last night. But even if he says he's going to talk to his brother and I desperately want to believe him, can I? Will he really risk MOD's future and his relationship with his brother? I don't know if I can handle the guilt of breaking them apart.
As if he can sense me questioning his promise, he glances around quickly, determining we're alone before his hand tightens around my wrist, and he pulls me to him. His other hand cups my face as his lips crash down on mine. The kiss is intense, consuming, lighting my body up the same way it did last night. I lose myself in the moment, forgetting everything else except the feel of Asher's lips moving against mine.
We break apart, gasping for air. Despite all the obstacles in our way, is there any way that maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to make it work? I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself.
"So?" Asher clears his throat.
I nod slowly. “Okay, I’ll give you some time.”
“Thank you,” he says, his thumb brushing over my wrist in a soothing gesture.
I nod, then turn to leave the kitchen. As I walk out, I can feel his eyes burning into my back. He asked for some time, but does that mean we're supposed to ignore the attraction until he speaks to Ethan? We should, right? It’s hard to resist the pull between us, and I don't know how I'm going to do it, but until he's talked to Ethan, we have to.
I head to my room and close the door behind me, slumping onto my bed. My heart is still racing from the intensity of the last few minutes. Ethan thinks he's still in love with me, but Asher still wants to be with me. Is there any way this won't end in disaster?
So good!!! My heart rate is through the roof!