Aaron
As we jog back towards the house, I watch Gabby out of the corner of my eye. What the hell just happened? One moment we were having a good time in the water, and the next she was practically begging me to kiss her. When she leaned in, I fought back the impulse to press my lips to hers. All I could think about was last night when I kissed her and screwed everything up. And now, this morning, I didn't kiss her, and I've messed things up once again. I need someone to explain what's going on. We were alone on the beach, no audience to pretend in front of and she's supposed to be in love with her mystery man. So why is Gabby mad at me for not kissing her?
The possible answer hits me with such force I nearly stumble. No way. I'm not her mystery guy. It can't be me. She's here helping me win Jenna-Lee back. She wouldn't do that if she was in love with me, would she?
Of course, she would. Gabby would do anything for me, and I would do the same for her. And Gabby has never kept secrets from me, but she refused to tell me who her mystery man was. Suddenly I can't shake off a slightly sick feeling that there may be more truth to Jenna-Lee's constant accusations than I'd originally thought possible.
She isn't the only person convinced Gabby is in love with me either. What had Edward said last night? "She's been in love with you for so much longer."
I don't want it to be true. Not after I asked her to come here to help me make another woman jealous. I've been talking about Jenna-Lee non-stop. The idea that she's helping me with Jenna-Lee while she might have feelings for me makes me feel like the biggest jerk in the world. No wonder things have been off between us since we arrived. The look of hurt on her face when I pulled away from her in the water flashes before my eyes, and the queasy feeling that I've had for the last kilometre or so worsens. Is this why she's putting distance between us? It would make sense.
How much did asking her to come here with me hurt her? Gabby is the last person I ever wanted to hurt. We continue jogging in silence, and I can feel the tension building between us with every step. When we finally reach the house, I know I can't keep avoiding this any longer.
"I'll be back soon," I say, slipping off my wet shoes.
Gabby looks at me with a mix of confusion and concern. "Where are you going?"
"I need to make a phone call," I say, not sure whether she'll follow me or not.
I make my way to the Saxby’s office, feeling like I'm about to do something illicit. I know I shouldn't be calling Bernadette, but I need to know. Thankfully, my bosses aren’t in the office. I’ll have to explain to them later that I made a call.
"Bernadette, it's Aaron," I say as soon as soon as Gabby’s friend answers the landline at the community house.
"Aaron? Is everything okay? Is Gabby okay?"
"She's fine."
But not really. And Gabby will kill me for this, but I can't bring myself to ask my best friend straight out if I'm her mystery guy. Things are so strained between us already, and I'm afraid of doing any more damage to our friendship.
There's a slight pause. "Then why are you calling me? Shouldn't you be busy making Jenna-Lee jealous?"
I choose to ignore the hint of disgust in Bernadette's voice and press on with the question that has haunted me for the past ten minutes. "Gabby informed me on the flight over here that she's in love with somebody, and she won't tell me who he is."
"I really don't have time for this, Aaron. The house is currently being overrun by-"
"Just tell me it's not me, and I'll go."
Bernadette sighs deeply. "You need to talk to her about it."
"Things are…weird between us. Please," I plead. "Just tell me it isn't me."
"You know Gabby is going to kill both of us for having this conversation, right?"
I fall into the desk chair behind me, now one hundred percent certain I'm her mystery man. "How did I not know about this?"
I felt sick before, but it's nothing compared to what I feel right now.
"Aaron, I have to go."
"What am I going to do?"
I hear her hesitate.
"Please, Bernie, tell me what to do. You have to help me."
She makes a frustrated noise. "You're in love with Jenna-Lee, right?"
"I think so."
I came here with every intention of making Jenna-Lee mine again. I can't explain why I feel such a connection to the woman, I just do. The chemistry was instantaneous, and even though she isn't perfect, who is? I don't know much about love, but I know that loving someone means overlooking their flaws no matter how big they are.
I love Gabby too, but it's a different kind of love. We've always been friends, and I like it that way. Gabby is so much more to me than a girlfriend. She's above all the girls I've met in my lifetime. No one compares to her. Friendship has always been the safe option for us, and until this week away, I thought it was the only way to guarantee that we will always have each other.
"You think so?" Bernadette asks.
I can practically hear her shaking her head at the other end of the line. "What's your point?" I ask.
"My point is that Gabby is finally trying to get over you."
"The whole dating agency thing?"
"Yes. Finding out you're in love with Jenna-Lee was pretty hard on her, Aaron. So, just…just let her get over you. She needs to move on. I have to go."
"Right. Thanks."
"Aaron," she says before I can hang up. "It might be better if Gabby never knew we had this conversation, and you forget you know. Let her keep some dignity while she's stuck on that island watching you with Jenna-Lee. See you when you get back."
I drag my feet back to the room, unsure of what to say to Gabby now. 'I'm sorry for being an oblivious idiot who had no idea how you felt about me'? That apology won't cut it at all. Bernadette said that Gabby is getting over me, so maybe I shouldn’t say anything. Maybe it's best to let Gabby keep her dignity and pretend she doesn't feel that way about me.
Gabby
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I try to breathe through my anxiety. I was so sure that I had given myself away to Aaron before he left me to make a call - that he now knows how I feel. But he never said anything. It's tempting to convince myself that he doesn't know. It's not completely out of the realm of possibility. He's been clueless for years about my feelings, and thank God for that. The only thing worse than this week of watching him pine after Jenna-Lee would be another talk about how much he values our friendship. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, waiting for my feelings to be discovered at any moment.
As I step out of the bathroom, drying my hair after a quick shower, I freeze when I see the way Aaron is looking at me. Panic washes over me instantly. Oh my God, he knows.
I have the sudden urge to burst into laughter. Aaron just looks so...so shocked. Almost as if he’s seeing me for the first time. He had no clue back at home, but after one day of being here on this island with him, one day of 'pretending' to be in love with him, I've given everything away. I tried so hard to keep my feelings hidden, but my secret is out.
Looking away from him, I throw my wet towel onto the bed. "Where have you been? It's almost midday."
I dread what's coming next. I can already hear him telling me how flattered he is, how he values our friendship way too much to mess with it, or something along those lines. No matter what he says, it will be a cringe-worthy moment I'm sure I'll never be able to forget or live down. I absolutely hate that there’s a tiny part of me that hopes now he’s learned the truth, he's had some sort of epiphany and realises he feels the same way. That he'll tell me Jenna-Lee really means nothing to him at all and I’m the woman he wants now.
"I'm getting in the shower."
I nearly gape at him. That's it? He has just uncovered the biggest secret of my life and he's going to take a shower? Forget a cringe-worthy conversation that I have to suffer through. Obviously, my feelings don't even warrant a mention. The small amount of hope I’ve been holding onto curls up and dies. Of course, he doesn't feel the same way. He loves Jenna-Lee.
Well, this is closure, isn't it? I swallow over the lump in my throat. Perhaps part of me might have always wondered about whether he could return my feelings if he knew how I felt, but not anymore. This moment will only make it easier for me to move on. He rips his shirt over his head, exposing his perfect chest, muscled from all the time he spends at the gym and outdoors. All that tanned perfect muscle. Normally, he wouldn’t think twice about stripping in front of me, but he doesn’t usually watch me as he does so. Today, he is. Possibly, he's looking for more signs or confirmation of how I feel about him - about how he affects me.
And like the rest of my secrets, my response is clear on display. My heart hammers against my ribcage, heat sweeping through me and colouring my skin in a way that broadcasts everything.
Aaron
Gabby turns away from me as I strip off, but I notice the slight part to her lips and the colour staining her cheeks. Is she breathing faster? How did I miss that before? My reaction to her arousal is instantaneous, and I'm hard in an instant. I walk into the bathroom and step straight into the cold spray without bothering with the hot tap. For so long, I tried not to see Gabby in that way that it still feels unnatural to react this way.
Our summer at the Cape, when I was seventeen, I realized she had the body of a woman, but I felt guilty for thinking about her sexually. Until yesterday, I had managed to keep my desires for my best friend under control. However, our pretence of being lovers during this trip has completely unleashed those feelings. I know Gabby so well, but I have no idea what she likes in the bedroom. Suddenly, that is all I can think about. What’s her favourite position? Does she like it fast or slow? What does she taste like? What does she sound like?
I don't know what’s more painful – the sting of the cold water on my skin, or the painful throb of my erection. As I pick up the soap, I imagine lathering up her thighs and sliding between them.
A sharp rap on the door interrupts my thoughts. "We're going to be late."
"I'll be out in a minute," I reply, fighting the urge to invite her to join me.
After turning off the water, I quickly dry off and get dressed.
As I step out of the bathroom, I say, "We need to go. We're going to be late," intentionally avoiding eye contact to conceal the lingering effect of my fantasies.
She closes her magazine. "I was ready ten minutes ago."
I motion for her to lead us out. "Come on then."
Pursuing Jenna-Lee is now out of the question; I feel like the biggest jerk for not recognizing Gabby's feelings sooner. I'll have to stay away from Jenna-Lee while we're here and hope Gabby doesn't suspect anything.
When we arrive for the second meal of the day, everyone is already seated on the terrace. We fill our plates and look for unoccupied chairs. I curse under my breath when I spot the only empty chairs left on the terrace.
"There aren't any seats left," Gabby says.
"Actually, there are two," I inform her.
Deluding myself that I could stay away from Jenna-Lee during our stay here was a mistake. Reluctantly, I point to the last vacant chairs in front of August and Jenna-Lee.
"Over there," I say.
"Perfect," Gabby mutters as she heads to the table where August and Jenna-Lee sit.
I follow Gabby with dread, the guilt of how I've treated her weighing on me. August's playboy smile and Jenna-Lee's seductive gaze spell impending disaster. Despite my intentions to protect Gabby's dignity by not discussing her feelings, we're both avoiding the truth. I've hurt her and can't apologize for using her as a pawn in my and August's game. I'm trapped in my own hell, unsure how to escape. What if I lose Gabby, the one person who truly matters, even if I succeed in winning Jenna-Lee?