Cassie
Six and a half years later…
The words on the screen blur before my eyes, making it hard to comprehend their meaning. I've read Eve's email at least ten times, and with each read, it becomes more confusing than before.
My Dearest Cass,
I've decided to take the contract in France. I know you probably won't understand this choice. Nobody else seems to. Maybe that should stop me, but I can't ignore the feeling that I'll regret not seizing this opportunity. I wish I could have pursued it without hurting Jace, but I failed.
Cass, the wedding is off, and I think Jace could really use a friend right now. I know Queensland has become your home, but do you think you could come back to Melbourne more often than once a year? He misses you. We both do. Always have and always will. Talk soon.
All my love, Eve. XOXO
As my phone chimes with a new message, I'm not surprised to see it's from Jace. Since I was about to message him, it's expected.
Eve left. She ended it, and the wedding is off. I thought she was happy. I don't understand.
There's an unmistakable pain laced in every word he types. Jace and Eve have been together for almost seven years. The wedding was scheduled for September, on their anniversary, only three months from now.
From a thousand kilometres away, I've tried my best to fulfil my duties as maid of honour, even flying to Magpie Grove to help Eve choose her wedding dress.
During our regular Skype catch-ups, Eve and I rarely discussed anything else. Yes, she mentioned the offer to work with the renowned photographer Everett Benton once or twice, but with the wedding drawing near, I assumed my friend would turn it down. I believed that settling down with Jace was her future, not France.
Did I miss the signs?
The fact that her decision has blindsided me indicates that, yes, I did miss them.
And I'm not the only one caught off guard. From the sound of it, Jace is in shock. Once that subsides, he'll be hurt, angry, and...
"Morning, Cassie."
Gavin Bowman, my colleague and friend, approaches my desk with two cups of coffee in his hands.
"Thanks, Gav," I say, taking the cup he hands me.
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Not a ghost, exactly. I just received some news from my friends in Magpie Grove."
"Are they okay?"
I take a sip of the coffee, relishing the bittersweet taste before meeting Gavin's concerned gaze. "Not really."
He furrows his brows. "That's not good."
Gavin has been working at the Queensland Times for a few years longer than me. He served as my mentor during my probationary period. We went on a few dates when I first started here, but our relationship never progressed into something romantic. Still, he's one of my closest friends in Brisbane.
"Do you think you should go back to Magpie Grove, Cass?" Gavin asks, taking a seat at the desk adjacent to mine.
The news of Jace and Eve's breakup has left me reeling, and I haven't had a chance to consider whether returning home is the right move. But now that Gavin brings it up, I can't help but contemplate it.
"I'm not sure. Maybe."
"But you'll come back to us, right?"
"Of course, Gav. You know I will."
"Good, because I'd miss you too much if you left for good."
His words echo the conversation I had with Jace before I left Magpie Grove.
"Just so you know, just so there's no confusion, I don't want you to go. I don't want to spend months here without you."
"I know, but it's just one summer."
"You'll keep talking to me, right? You're not going to disappear and cut off contact?"
"I wouldn't do that."
"Promise me, Cass. Promise me that when you come home, we'll be good. We'll be okay."
"I promise."
Back then, I tried my best to convince myself that I wasn't lying. But after years of silently longing for my best friend, I couldn't simply switch off my feelings. The rejection, even if Jace never intended it that way, was still too fresh and painful. The thought of pretending around the only guy I've ever loved became overwhelming.
Coupled with my newfound love for Queensland, I made the decision in late February not to return. It upset Jace more than I anticipated. He threw a fit when I told him my plans, and after explaining that I wasn't ready to join our fathers' business and wanted to study Journalism at Queensland University, we didn't speak for a year.
Eventually, Eve grew tired of being our go-between and insisted we start talking again. So we did. At first, our conversations were superficial, but over time, they became more meaningful. Our friendship didn't fully recover until six months ago when Kent, Jace's father, had a heart attack, and Jace leaned on me for support.
The near-death experience of someone dear to you has a way of shifting perspectives. I care about Kent almost as much as my own father, and I was devastated. From that point on, Jace and I started talking daily. Initially, it was mainly about Kent's progress, but even after his health improved, we maintained our communication. We never addressed the void our friendship fell into when I left, or how I broke my promise. Instead, we simply picked up where we left off.
Now that our friendship is almost as strong as it once was, I believe Jace would appreciate having a shoulder to lean on. Not that he doesn't have friends in Magpie Grove, but I'm probably the closest thing he has to a true best friend if Eve is no longer there.
"Besides, you wouldn't want to miss out on the upcoming election and political race by moving back to boring old Magpie Grove," Gavin reminds me.
"No need to convince me, Gav. I'm a Queenslander now."
Gavin examines me, clearly appreciating my tan and the lighter shade of my hair compared to when I first joined the Times. "You certainly look the part."
While his evident admiration should stir some warmth within me, all I feel is flattered and amused.
With his light brown curly hair and dark brown eyes, Gavin is undeniably attractive. He takes care of himself, hitting the gym after work every day. He's also intelligent. Overall, Gavin is a great guy. But damn it, why don't I feel that spark with him?
"I'll see you at the meeting at ten?" he asks.
"Yep," I nod and attempt to smile, assuring my co-worker that I'm alright, even though in my mind, I'm already requesting time off from my boss and booking my flight back to Magpie Grove.
As Gavin walks away, I refocus on Jace's message and hit the reply button.
I'm coming home for a while. See you soon.
I huddle deeper into my jacket, trying to ward off the chill as I sit in the passenger seat of Mum's car. How long will it take for me to adjust to Magpie Grove's weather? I'll probably just get used to it and then have to fly back to Queensland. Living in Brisbane for the past six and a half years has made me lose the resistance I once had to a Magpie Grove winter.
And, of course, I had to pick the coldest day on record to come home, according to Mum.
"How are you holding up?" Mum asks, cranking up the heating.
"I can't believe I forgot how cold winter is everywhere else besides Queensland."
"The heating is on full blast at home, and your room is all set up. I thought you might want to head straight to bed when we get there."
The flight from Brisbane to Sydney was only an hour, but I had worked a full day before catching the evening flight, and I've been yawning non-stop for the past hour.
"Also, your father is waiting up for you. He might want a quick hug and a chat."
I smile. "Of course."
Being an only child, I've always been close to my parents, and I know they've been missing me for quite some time. Mum and Dad were obviously disappointed when I told them I was only coming back for this short two-week trip in July.
"Oh, and just a heads up, he might try to convince you to come back here permanently to work."
"Well, he wouldn't be Dad if he didn't."
"Yes, but he might seem a bit more desperate this time."
Turning to look at my mother, I notice the furrow between her dark brows and the firm line of her mouth.
"Why would he be more desperate than usual?"
"I'm afraid the business is going through a bit of a rough patch, Cassie."
"What? How?"
The business has always been successful, and I've been in regular contact with Jace. He would have mentioned something if the business was struggling.
"They've had a string of bad luck, starting with Kent having to take a few months off after his heart attack, and then Greg leaving to take care of his mother in England. And now, Jace is having trouble focusing because of Eve..."
"So we don't have enough people to handle investigations?"
"That's a big part of the problem," Mum says, her frown deepening, indicating there's more to it.
"What aren't you telling me?"
Mum glances at me before returning her gaze to the road. "I don't want to bring this up with your father because it'll send his blood pressure skyrocketing, but there's a new agency that has recently opened in town, and they're giving Kent and your father a run for their money."
"You've got to be kidding me."
There has always been only one detective agency in Magpie Grove, which is why there has always been plenty of work. Magpie Grove has a wealthy demographic, but there's also a significant amount of poverty and crime. We have always supported the police and other agencies that require discreet work. Our reputation has been excellent, and our rates are great. No one has ever dared to challenge us. Until now, it seems. It's no wonder Dad's blood pressure is affected by the competition.
"Why didn't you tell me any of this over the phone?" I ask, puzzled. And why didn't Jace?
"Because I didn't want your decision to come home to be influenced by us," Mum explains, sitting up straighter. "I wanted you to have the space and time to get over Jace on your own terms and come back when you were ready."
The revelation hits me like a shockwave. I had never confided in Mum about my feelings for Jace, yet she seems to have known all along. She's never mentioned it until now.
"I never knew you knew," I admit quietly.
Mum clicks her tongue, looking at me as if I've said something obvious. "Of course I knew, Cassie. You're my only daughter. I could see the way you looked at him, and when he started dating Eve, you flew to Brisbane and became despondent. And let's not forget all the conversations about your future plans that revolved around Jace. It was clear as day."
"I wasn't despondent."
"You were miserable. I wanted to talk to you about it, but I thought forcing you to open up might make things worse. And it wasn't easy when you kept our conversations so brief."
"I didn't want to burden Auntie Ruth with long-distance phone calls."
"I understand that. I kept hoping you would come back so we could have a proper heart-to-heart conversation, but..." She trails off with a shrug. "You never did."
"I wanted to, Mum. I really did, but I just couldn't. Two months wasn't enough time."
I had wanted Jace and Eve to be happy, and if I had returned, they would have worried about me. My pain and wounds were still fresh and intense, and I couldn't hide them.
"No, I get it. But I was hoping you'd come back after being away for a year or two, once you had truly moved on from him."
"I'm sorry."
"I don't want you to come home out of obligation. I want you to come back when you're done running, Cassie. Whenever that may be."
Her tone is gentle, her words a soft shake. I can't deny that I've been running away, desperate to escape the heartache of the past. But now, I no longer pine for my best friend. The devastating realization that he will never be mine doesn't bring the same heart-wrenching pain anymore.
Occasionally, feelings of envy still bubble up when I see Eve and Jace's lovey-dovey photos on social media, but it's more about longing for that kind of intimacy and closeness in my own life. I've had relationships over the years, some with great guys like Gavin, but I've never fallen in love with any of them.
Because no one can compare to Jace, can they?
I push that thought down, hoping it will drown in the depths of my mind where it belongs. Just because I didn't have chemistry with my past partners doesn't mean I'm not over Jace. To be hopelessly in love with a man for so long, a man who wanted to marry my best friend, a man who will never love me back... that would be pathetic, right?
"I'm over Jace now," I declare, trying to convince myself.
Mum glances at me, a small smile playing on her lips. "I remember how passionate you and Jace were about the future of the business. I thought you two would conquer the world together. But then..." Her smile fades. "And then your passion shifted towards journalism. Which is great, it's just..."
"Just what?" I prompt, a knot forming in my stomach.
"I know you've always said you'll come back and join the business one day, but if journalism is your true calling for the foreseeable future and the business continues to struggle, you might need to consider the possibility that there won't be a business to come back to."
A wave of icy dread washes over me, and my stomach tightens at the thought. Yes, I love journalism, but I have always imagined myself as part of O'Connell & Strand Investigations. Always. Recently, I even talked to Jace about coming back and working as a freelance writer while contributing to the agency. But I never set a specific date for it. It felt like something far off in the future, maybe five years from now.
I didn't think I was ready to leave Queensland, but the idea of living in another state while my father and Kent's business crumbles is unimaginable. I have a duty as their daughter. I'll miss Queensland, I'll miss Gavin and the Times, but it's time to expedite my plans or risk losing my family's legacy.
Jace
I grimace with each knock on my door, startled by the unexpected and overly enthusiastic visitor.
"I'm coming."
Please, for the love of God, stop knocking.
I need to chug a litre of water and take a couple of Panadol before dragging my sorry ass to work. It may be Saturday, but we're drowning in paperwork and quotes, and I can't bear staying home for too long. It's too depressing. Too empty. Too... painful.
Running a hand over my face, I notice the stubble and the desperate need to shave just as I swing open the door. But all thoughts vanish the moment I lay eyes on the woman standing in front of me.
"Cassie."
Instinctively, I reach out for her as she reaches for me, pulling her into a tight hug before I can stop myself.
"Hey," she mumbles against my bare chest.
Suddenly aware of my barely dressed state, I release her, and she steps back. I watch her gaze drift down to my bare chest and settle on my jeans—jeans I forgot to button in my haste to get to the door. Feeling self-conscious, I quickly button them up. When her eyes meet mine again, her cheeks are slightly flushed.
"Did... Did I interrupt something?" she asks, looking uncomfortable.
"Eve's only been gone for less than a month," I snap. "Do you really think I've moved on already?"
She furrows her brow. "No. I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."
Instantly, I feel like a jerk. It's incredible to see her, and her presence means everything to me. These past six months have been the closest we've come to the normalcy she once promised we would have. Before that... I can't even begin to describe how much I missed her.
"I'm sorry. Of course you didn't interrupt anything, Cass. Come in."
She nods, swallows, and steps past me as I gesture for her to enter.
I close the door behind her. "I thought you weren't flying in until next week."
She tucks a strand of hair that escaped her long ponytail behind her ear, then slips her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, gazing up at me. "I wanted to surprise you."
"Well, mission accomplished."
For a moment, we stand there, observing each other, the silence thick. It dawns on me that the last time Cassie and I were alone together was six and a half years ago, when she assured me that leaving was the only way to fix things and that she would be gone for just the summer.
"Go through," I say, breaking the silence and pushing pause on the memories of that conversation. "I'm just gonna throw on a t-shirt."
Cassie nods and offers me a small smile as I slip into my bedroom and rummage around for a clean shirt. "If you hadn't been so set on surprising me, I could have picked you up from the airport," I call out.
"You would've had to fight my mother for that honour," she calls back.
"Mona would've let me win. She adores me."
The first shirt I find that doesn't smell offensive is an old Metallica tee. I pull it over my head, taking note of the growing pile of dirty laundry. Eventually, I'll have to stop avoiding it and do some cleaning.
But that's a problem for future me.
Exiting my bedroom, I close the door a little harder than intended, and the loud bang serves as a reminder that I should search for painkillers. Cassie is in the kitchen, wrestling with my coffee machine as I join her.
"I thought I'd give coffee-making a shot," she says, glancing sideways at me.
Swiftly, I open the compartment she's struggling with and pop the coffee pod in for her. After pressing the button, a delightful aroma fills the air, prompting a loud moan of appreciation from Cassie. I can't help but chuckle.
"Do you want one?" she asks.
"Yes, please. Make it the Super Strong one."
I retrieve the Panadol from its spot and gulp down two tablets with a mouthful of water. As soon as I place the glass back on the counter, Cassie hands me a cup of coffee.
"Cheers," she says warmly.
"Cheers."
Her eyes sparkle, and her smile is genuine as we clink our coffee cups together. A wave of gratitude washes over me that she's here.
Don't get too comfortable. She'll be gone before you know it.
After years of longing and waiting for Cassie to return, I've finally come to terms with the fact that she has no intention of coming back anytime soon. She's thriving with new friends and a job she loves, and she probably won't join me in running our fathers' business.
In other words, I'm done being bitter and resentful about it. We may live in different states, and we may have gone a year without talking because of it, but things are finally good between us again. She's been there for me when I needed her, especially when my father had a heart attack.
"So, how long are you staying this time?" I ask as I return the Panadol to the cupboard.
How much time do I have with you?
"I'm, um, considering sticking around for a while."
"So, a couple of weeks? Maybe a month?" I jest, trying to lighten the mood, even though the thought of her leaving again feels like an axe to my chest.
She gives me a mysterious smile and takes a sip of her coffee. After swallowing, she says, "Longer than that. I actually started writing my resignation letter to The Times this morning."
There's a sparkle in her dark eyes as she studies my face, clearly gauging my reaction.
"Are you serious?"
"It seems like our dads could use some help with the business, especially with Ray recovering from surgery, and I... I thought you could use a friend around right now."
She means with Eve gone. I won't deny that the idea of her moving back fills me with a glimmer of happiness, the closest I've felt in weeks. But Cassie has always insisted that Queensland is her home; she's happy there.
"You love Queensland."
"I do, especially the weather," she says, mimicking the motion of rubbing her arms and shivering. "But I always intended to come back and work for O'Connell & Strand."
"What about your career? You love being a journalist."
Why am I trying to talk her out of this?
"I'll do my best to find freelance work. It'll be an adjustment. But I can't love what I'm doing when I'm constantly worrying about the agency. I can't let our fathers' legacy go up in smoke."
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that."
"I hoped you would be." Her expression grows serious. "Why didn't you tell me the business was in trouble, Jace? I would have come home earlier if I knew. I should have moved back and gotten my Investigator's license when Kent had the heart attack."
"At the time, I thought I could handle it, and when things took a nosedive, I didn't want to say anything because you were happy. I didn't want to take that away from you."
She shakes her head. "Jace..."
"I felt like you deserved happiness, and you wouldn't be happy if you moved back."
"That isn't true." Her gaze falls to the floor before climbing back to my face, her eyes meeting mine. "I've always said I would return and join the business at some point."
"I know."
"But you didn't think I would?"
"After everything that happened, I wasn't sure."
She nods, and I wonder if she's remembering the same conversation I am, the one we had before we stopped talking for a year.
"We have plans, Cassie! We're supposed to get our PI license and continue the tradition of Strand and O'Connell. You and me."
"Plans change. You and Eve are together now, and if I come back, I'll want to be happy for you guys, but it will hurt me to see you with her. I... I still need time, Jace."
"Spending the summer apart was supposed to make things go back to the way they were. You said we'd go back to normal if you left. How much more time do you need? Two more months? Six months? A year? Two years?"
"Maybe. I don't know how long I need. I just know I'm not over it yet. I'm not over you, and I'm not coming home until I am."
"Then hurry up and get over it already."
"It isn't as easy as that. I've loved you since I was ten, Jace."
"You can't love someone at ten."
"I loved you!"
"Then why didn't you ever say anything?"
"I wanted to. I wanted to so much, but Eve said it would screw everything up, that someone would feel like a third wheel."
"You still should have said something, rather than lying to me about it for so many years."
Our eyes lock and hold, and my mind does its best to return to the present and forget the past.
"I'm over... everything that happened and have been for a while. I've just been dragging my feet, and I do love Queensland and my job, but me staying... it wasn't because of you and Eve."
"Okay."
Her feelings for me were much stronger than I ever knew when she left the state, but it took a stupid amount of time to understand the extent. When she told me she wasn't coming home, I reacted poorly. I was young, selfish, desperate, frustrated, and hurt. After all, I broke up with Eve after her birthday because our relationship hurt Cassie, and she convinced me to get back together with Eve and spend the summer apart. I easily believed the promise she would come home in a couple of months and be over everything.
Cassie is still studying me, still trying to read me.
I don't want or need to discuss the past. Not talking for a year sucked, and bringing up her feelings and causing a fracture in our friendship again isn't something I'm willing to do. It might have taken six years, but she's coming home and wants to work in the business with me, just as we had once planned. I don't know when she got over her feelings for me, or how long she's been over them, and I don't need to know.
"I've waited a really long time for you to say you're coming home, Cass."
She grins, and I reach for her, pulling her to me, just like I would have done six years ago. For a moment, she freezes in my arms, and I worry I've crossed some invisible line I didn't know existed. Then she hugs me back ferociously.
"We're going to get this agency back on track. Strand and O'Connell," she says into my t-shirt.
"Damn straight."
"We're going to do this."
"Nothing will stop us."
Eve might have left, but Cassie is back, and for the first time since Eve has gone, I don't feel as if my world is about to end.
Kiss Me, Break My Heart: Episode 4
I read the latest chapter on Vocal. I never thought I would feel bad for Jace, because I usually feel more for the heroine, but I can’t help it, really. They would be so great for each other, they’re so compatible. Now they’re both hurting.
I always feel like crying when I read their story. 😂 I know it’s going to be bittersweet.