Kiss Me, Break My Heart: Episode 5
Too easy to get used to this again
Jace
2 months later…
"Is this really everything?" I ask Cassie, eyeing the four large boxes stacked in the corner of her new room.
Cassie rolls up the sleeves of her shirt, though they immediately slide back down her slim, tanned arms. "Yup. I know it's not much, but I left a lot in Queensland."
"Right."
She steps forward and places her hand on my arm. "I'm here to stay, Jace. I'm fully committed to the business, okay? It was just easier to leave behind the things I didn't really need than to bring them with me." She shrugs. "Besides, Declan and Logan already have so much stuff. I didn't want to overcrowd their home with my belongings."
Her gaze meets mine, silently pleading for me to believe her. It's not that I don't trust her; it's just that I've spent the past couple of months expecting her to call me any minute and tell me she's changed her mind about moving home. To tell me she doesn't want to leave Queensland and her job. It wasn't until she arrived in Magpie Grove late last night that I finally accepted that this is actually happening. But now, as I look at the small number of boxes and furniture, uncertainty creeps back in.
I don't want to get accustomed to her being home if she's planning to leave again soon.
Yet, as I see the sincerity in her dark eyes now, I nod. Cassie lets out a small sigh of relief and lowers her hand.
"I still can't believe you decided to move in with these idiots," I say, deliberately raising my voice.
"Oy!" Logan shouts from the lounge, where he's watching the prelude to the AFL Grand Final on TV. "I heard that!"
"Yeah?" I shout back. "Good!"
Cassie laughs, then asks, "Are you ready for a drink?"
"I've been ready for hours."
It's meant as a joke, but Cassie's mouth tugs down at the corner, her dark eyes reflecting concern as she reaches out to touch me once more. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you started without me."
My relationship with Eve began on Grand Final Day. Tomorrow would have marked our seven-year anniversary and our wedding day. Despite talking to Cassie every night, we haven't dwelled on it much. So when she told me she would be home this weekend, I was grateful and relieved, knowing I would need her. Her presence might not fix everything, but with Cassie here, the grief isn't as overwhelming, the ache of loneliness isn't as sharp, and the void in my heart isn't as vast.
I smirk. "I know, but I wanted to wait. I had faith you'd make it in time."
She smirks back at me. "No, you thought I wouldn't make it back until halfway through the game. I told you the roads would be empty at this time."
This morning, Cassie and Declan paid a visit to her parents to collect a few things she had sent down there. I was worried she wouldn't make it back in time for the game when they decided to stay and have lunch with her folks.
Cassie gently squeezes my arm. "Come on."
She leads the way to the kitchen. I lean against the countertop, retrieving the bottle opener from the top drawer while Cassie grabs two beers from the fridge.
"Logan, need another one?" she calls out, sliding our beers along the counter to me.
"Yes, ma'am," Logan replies, showing up in the kitchen.
I pop off the caps from our beers and hand the bottle opener to Logan, who takes his beer from Cassie.
"I love that you're already making yourself at home," Logan says, winking at Cassie as she takes out the snacks she prepared earlier from the fridge and pantry.
Her eyes shift to Logan. "You don't mind, do you?"
Logan's smile is warm. "Of course not. I mean, you did buy all this stuff."
"Yup, it's going to be great to have a woman around to buy food and tidy up," Declan says, walking into the kitchen.
Declan is far from the sexist pig he pretends to be, but he can't seem to resist stirring up trouble.
He's clutching a towel around his waist, his skin still flushed from the shower, steam trailing off him. Cassie tosses a wrapped candy at Declan, who catches it, unwraps it, and pops it into his mouth, his gaze teasing her. But she's not looking at his face; her gaze lingers on his stomach. I half expect her to blush, as the old Cassie would have done. However, the Cassie standing before me doesn't miss a beat—she just hands him a bottle.
Things are mostly back to normal between Cassie and me, and our friendship is nearly as strong as it was before she left the state all those years ago. But moments like these remind me that I don't know my friend the way I used to. There's Cassie B.Q.—Before Queensland—and Cassie A.Q.—After Queensland. Cassie A.Q. is someone I'm still getting to know.
I despise being reminded that I no longer know her as I once did. Almost as much as I despise the way Declan is eyeing her up. He's looking at her as if she's someone he'd like to tie to his bed. He's into that kinky stuff.
"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Cassie," Declan says, practically purring the words.
She raises an eyebrow. "I've seen plenty of naked men before, Declan. A six-pack isn't exactly new to me."
"Way hey," Logan says, waggling his eyebrows.
Cassie's good-natured grin is aimed at both Logan and Declan. "You guys always loved showing off your abs when we played footy in the park, remember?"
Declan smoothes a hand over his stomach. "I didn't realize you were paying that much attention." His smirk is suggestive. "Did you commit those memories to heart so you could relive them when you were alone in bed?"
Cassie leans in, waiting for Declan to do the same, then whispers, "Wouldn't you like to know."
Declan's eyes widen, as if he can't believe she said something like that. Logan stands there, grinning at the exchange, but I'm not smiling. Declan has always been a flirt, and it's not like he never flirted with Cassie when we were younger, but Cassie never flirted back. She would act reserved, shy, sometimes embarrassed, and occasionally amused.
Maybe that's because she was waiting for attention from the one guy she had feelings for back then. Me. But that's no longer the case, and while I'm relieved that she's moved on from me, I'm far from thrilled about this new dynamic. I've only just gotten Cassie back, and I don't want her to leave again because she hooks up with Declan and everything falls apart.
After all, I know firsthand that introducing sex or romantic feelings into a friendship can complicate things. That's the best-case scenario. And the worst-case scenario is that it destroys the friendship beyond repair.
"Are we going to watch this game or what?" Cassie asks, glancing between the three of us.
Declan throws his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer and giving her a squeeze. "Missed you, you know that?"
Cassie smiles indulgently up at him. "Missed you too." She playfully pushes him away. "Now, go put some clothes on."
Declan frowns. "But watching games in the nude is kind of a house rule."
Cassie laughs, then stops abruptly, looking at Logan. "He's joking, right?"
Declan chuckles as he leaves the kitchen, and Logan looks amused as well. "Yes, but we definitely won't mind if you want to watch the game naked."
Great. Now Logan is the one flirting. I look at Cassie, waiting to see her reaction, but she just shakes her head, a wide smile still on her face. Her eyes continue to sparkle with amusement as she looks at me. However, when she notices the expression on my face, her smile fades into a frown, and she tilts her head, questioning.
I shrug, forcing a grin, hoping she attributes my mood to the day and upcoming anniversary, rather than her flirting with my friends. Then I push off the counter, picking up a couple of the snack plates she prepared and heading for the living room.
Cassie and Logan follow me, and Declan joins us a minute later, fully dressed. The four of us immediately start arguing over who gets the sofa and who has to sit on the floor, and I do my best to put the flirtatious behaviour of my friends towards Cassie out of my mind. Instead, I try to enjoy the easy banter between the four of us.
Thinking back, I don't have too many memories of my friends that don't involve Cassie. Not during our high school days, at least. Until Eve and I got together, Cassie was always right there with me, my constant companion. Declan and Logan adored her back then, accompanying her to my footy games, hanging out at my place, watching sports together. They still adore her now, which is why they offered to let her move into their prized bachelor pad.
"Hey, remember when Declan tried to streak across the MGS?" Logan asks us during a commercial break.
Cassie giggles. "I tempted him with a meat pie, thinking he'd never agree, but he jumped at the chance."
Logan nods from his spot on the floor. "Right before he hopped over the barrier and started stripping."
Declan gives Cassie a confused look. "You really thought I'd turn down a pie? This body always needs fuel."
"Mm-hm," Cassie says, smirking as she places her half-empty bottle on the coaster, then leans back against my outstretched arm.
There's a moment of hesitation from both of us. Growing up, Cassie was always the affectionate one, never hesitating to offer hugs and touches. Of course, that changed once she realized I was with Eve. Now, when she touches me, it's calculated and cautious. I'm not sure why. Maybe she thinks I don't want her physical affection. Or maybe she's concerned about sending the wrong message and making me think she's not over me.
Determined not to let this easy moment slip away, reminiscent of the good old days, I pull her closer, wrapping my arm around her and hugging her by my side. The fact that she's touching me without overthinking or analysing it is a sign that she's starting to relax around me. Considering she's back and planning to work in our fathers' business alongside me, it's necessary. And I've missed it, missed her touch.
She leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder, and my heart tightens in my chest. Warmth spreads through me, filling the void she left when she walked away from our friendship.
I hope Cassie meant it when she said she's here to stay because it would be too easy to grow accustomed to her being back home. Too easy to fall into a routine of the four of us doing this regularly. And after losing her once, I know all too well how painful it is to watch her walk away and sever our connection.
I'll do whatever it takes to avoid going through that pain again.