Kiss Me, Break My Heart: Episode 6
Imagine how his lips would feel against mine
Cassie
I turn off the car engine, unbuckle my seatbelt, and reach for the door handle just as my phone starts ringing on the car seat next to me. Assuming it's Jace calling to check how close I am, I pick it up, but instead of Jace's name, I see Eve's name flashing on the screen.
I swipe the screen to answer the call. "Hey."
"Oh! Hi! You actually picked up."
"Surprised?"
"Well, it's your night out with the guys, right?"
"I just parked outside the bar, so you caught me in time."
It's an unusually warm April evening, probably the last one before spring arrives. Feeling the need for fresh air, I start the car again and roll down the windows. The tantalizing aroma of food wafts in with the breeze, making my stomach growl.
"Great! I have good timing, then!"
Tapping my finger on the steering wheel, I furrow my brows at Eve's overly cheerful tone. "Were you hoping I wouldn't answer?"
"No, not at all. It's just... I already had a voicemail planned out in case you didn't pick up."
"Well, now you don't have to leave a message. What's up?"
"Can't I call just because I want to catch up with my best friend?"
"Of course, I just thought we'd talk on Sunday, like we always do."
"I know, but I was sitting at my desk and I thought, why not switch things up and call Cassie tonight? She'd be thrilled to hear from me."
"Okay, you're freaking me out. Seriously, Eve, what's going on?"
"How was your day at work?"
"Come on, you didn't call to ask about work."
"No, but I'm easing into it. Humour me."
I sigh, a knot of worry forming in my stomach over Eve's strange behaviour. "It was fine."
"You were at the paper today?"
"Yes, I was."
"Aren't you finding it exhausting juggling your time between the agency and the paper?"
"Not at all."
She asked me the same question on Sunday, and I told her then that I enjoy the variety. After returning to Magpie Grove, I missed writing for The Queensland Times, so when I saw a contract position at The Sydney Herald for two days a week, I jumped at the opportunity. Now, I can utilize my journalism degree that I worked so hard for while also assisting Jace and our fathers with the agency.
Eve's repeated question indicates that either she didn't pay attention to my answer on Sunday or she's building up to something she wants to say.
"And how's Flick?"
Alright, that answers my question; she's still building up to it.
"I think she's alright. I haven't seen much of her this week."
After getting tired of sleepless nights, I moved in with Declan's coworker. Declan and Logan have become even bigger players than they were in high school.
I could handle all the flirting and even the occasional joke about joining them, but constant sleep deprivation due to their nightly activities almost drove me insane. Six months after moving in with Declan and Logan, I found a new place. Jace took my spot in the house, finally leaving the place he shared with Eve before she left.
My new roommate is nice, and she's a detective with the Sydney Federal Police, so we occasionally share resources. She works nights, so we don't really see each other much. But Eve already knows all of this.
"Okay, and... how's Jace?"
And here it is, the real reason she called.
In the eight months since I moved back home, navigating my friendship with Eve and Jace has become quite challenging. Now I understand the struggle Eve went through when I moved to Queensland. I'm the one caught between two friends, and I hate it.
"He's... doing okay."
"I have to tell you something, and you're not going to like it."
I lean back in my chair, bracing myself for what's coming. My car may be parked, but I sense a collision ahead. My instincts are tingling.
"I've started seeing someone."
The air rushes out of my lungs.
"Say something," she urges.
"What do you want me to say?"
That it's been eight months, and Jace is still heartbroken? Sure, he's doing better now, but he never mentions you, and he hasn't shown interest in another woman since you left?
She exhales a long breath. "I don't know, Cassie. Tell me I'm not the worst person in the world."
I love Eve, I really do. But my heart is crushing itself because I know how much this will hurt Jace. Watching him suffer from a broken heart has been agonizing. But remaining neutral is important to me; it's the only way to be a friend to both of them.
"You're not the worst person in the world, Eve."
"I have to tell Jace, right?"
"I think you should."
"I was thinking... maybe you could tell him. It might be better—"
"No. Leave me out of it."
"We haven't spoken for months, Cass. I can't just call him out of the blue and tell him I'm with someone else."
"So, you want me to blurt it out?"
"I thought he might handle it better if you delivered the news."
"It's your relationship with him. I'm not getting involved."
"He isn't dating anyone at all?"
"He hasn't shown interest in anyone since I came back to Magpie Grove."
"Have you ever wondered if... maybe he's looking closer to home?"
It takes me a moment to understand what she's implying. "Are you kidding?" I manage to utter.
"No, I—"
"He has never looked at me in that way, Eve," I choke out, pain and anger squeezing my heart. "How can you even bring it up, especially after what you said two months ago?"
"I'm sorry, Cassie."
Embarrassment colours her tone, and I know she genuinely regrets it. But I'm still triggered. Two months ago, Eve saw a photo that Jace posted on Instagram of the two of us and completely freaked out. Believing there was something romantic between us, she called me to berate me. It took me two hours to calm her down and convince her that she was seeing things that weren't there.
After we ended the call and the initial shock of her accusations wore off, I allowed myself to be angry at Eve. But then I reminded myself that she was homesick, miserable, and full of regret for leaving. At that time, she had been gone for about six months, and I half-expected her to fly back home after our conversation to reconcile with Jace. However, one week later, it seemed like she had completely forgotten about it. She hasn't mentioned coming home since, nor has she dared to accuse me of secretly dating Jace again.
I tried to put that conversation behind me, but now that she's suggesting that Jace and I might be together? Well, she's acting like she'd be fine with it, but I know better. Eve may handle Jace moving on, but not if it's with me. She has asked me directly if I would ever date Jace, and I promised her that I wouldn't. It's simply not an option. The moment Eve and Jace got together, Jace became off-limits to me permanently. Their breakup hasn't changed that.
The door of the sports bar swings open, and people spill out onto the street, their laughter filling the air. It's enough to make me smile, even though happiness is the last thing I'm feeling.
"I need to go. The guys are waiting for me," I tell Eve.
"Of course. Cassie?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry for asking you to be the messenger. I will tell him. I just don't want to hurt him."
"I know."
"And I'm sorry for suggesting—"
"It's fine," I interrupt her. "Are you happy, Eve? Is this new guy everything you want?"
She giggles. "It's still very new. Nothing serious, but yeah, I like him. He's been pursuing me for a while, but I've held off because I wasn't ready. Last night, though, it felt like things were progressing. I just didn't feel right starting anything without talking to Jace first."
"Then you're doing the right thing by talking to Jace. Trust your instincts."
And then? I suppose I'll be here to pick up the pieces, as I always am.
She swallows. "We'll talk on Sunday?"
I force a smile. "Absolutely."
We hang up, and I start my car again to close the windows. Then I head toward the sports bar across the street.
As soon as I walk into the bar, I see my guys sitting down, enjoying their drinks. Jace immediately spots me, and a wide grin spreads across his deliciously enticing mouth, igniting a tinge of desire in my belly.
Why does he have to be so incredibly handsome?
Why does he always have this effect on me?
He brushes back a strand of his dark blond hair and throws his head back, laughing at something Declan said. His happiness is infectious, and despite the knot in my stomach from my conversation with Eve, I feel the urge to laugh.
"Hey, Cassie."
As usual, Jace captures all of my attention when he's around, blocking out everything else, including the familiar face now standing in front of me.
"Hi, Thom." Thom is my coworker at The Sydney Herald. With his sandy hair and bright blue eyes, he's decent-looking, and he's asked me out a couple of times already. Since he found out that I come to Brady's Sports Bar on Thursdays, he's been showing up, positioning himself close to the door, hoping to catch my attention. He reminds me a bit of Gav—nice enough, though not as intelligent as Gav.
Thom flashes his most charming smile at me. "Can I buy you a drink?"
"Another time." I give him an apologetic smile. "My friends are waiting for me."
"I'll hold you to that, Cassie. One of these days, you'll say yes."
"I'm sure you're right." I offer him another quick smile before continuing toward the men in my life.
"There she is, finally!" Declan jumps up from his seat as soon as he sees me, pulling me into a tight hug that muffles my giggle against his shirt.
Once he lets go, Logan spins me around before passing me over to Jace, who embraces me as if it's been ages since we last saw each other, not just a day. I press my face into his clean shirt, breathing in the scent of his laundry detergent and aftershave. He plants a kiss on the top of my head, causing my heart to skip a beat as he holds me impossibly close, our bodies pressed together, thigh to thigh, chest to chest.
Looking up at him, still encircled in his arms as if he doesn't want to let go, my gaze locks onto his before dropping to his full lips. It would be so easy to stand on my tiptoes and kiss him. My heart pounds against my ribs as I let myself indulge in the fantasy of how his lips would feel against mine, how our tongues would dance together. The mere thought ignites an ache in a place it shouldn't. Will I ever stop being affected by him? Years of living in Queensland, away from Jace, were supposed to help me move on.
Swiftly, I try to untangle myself from his embrace, forcing a smile as I take a step back. Well, I attempt to step back. He doesn't let go, instead keeping a firm hold on me as he studies me intently.
"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice tender and soft.
His concern tears at my heart.
"Yes, I'm fine."
Whatever he sees doesn't seem to convince him, but he does release me. "I'll get you a drink."
"It's fine, I can—"
He gives me another quick kiss, this time on the cheek. "Don't worry about it. I'm getting drinks for the guys anyway."
Before I can change his mind, he guides me to an empty seat.
Logan, who sits beside me, pats my knee in a gesture that I interpret as part apology and part understanding. "Don't mind him."
Declan is still focused on Jace, but I know his words are meant for me. "He was like this with Eve whenever he thought she had a rough day."
Logan nods. "Yeah, he was. And she loved it."
I swallow, my stomach dropping as my heart aches for Jace. Eve did mention that Jace had a way of taking care of her when she was upset, a side of him I never got to witness since I kept my distance during their relationship. And now? It leaves me feeling desperate and a little miserable, knowing I'll never experience that kind of love from him.
"What's the score?" I ask Logan, desperate for a distraction. There's no use dwelling on what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with my best friend.
When Jace returns to the table, he hands the guys their drinks before placing mine in front of me. Instead of resuming his previous seat, he sits beside me, draping his arm across the back of my chair and leaning in closer. I fight the urge to move nearer, to rest my head against him as if he's mine.
"Cassie?"
I shift my attention from the TV's highlight reel to Jace, watching as he reaches out to lift a strand of my hair, letting it slip through his fingers. The simple gesture sends shivers through me, igniting a longing that I wish didn't exist. Uninvited, vivid images of his hands and mouth on my body, him naked above me, loving me intimately, flood my mind, leaving me almost breathless.
His lips curl into a half-smile, though his eyes still hold concern. "You're somewhere else tonight."
I force a smile. "Sorry."
My reaction only deepens the concern in his eyes. "Cassie, what's going on?"
Shaking my head, I redirect my attention back to the television. "Nothing."
Soon enough, he'll hear from Eve. She'll tell him about her new relationship, and he'll put two and two together. He'll assume my strange behaviour is because I'm worried about him.
I wish worry was the only thing I felt right now, but to my shame, resentment claws at my insides. Eve walked away from an engagement and a relationship with this man, someone I would have given anything for a chance to love. If I had been the one he fell in love with, if I had mustered the courage to confess my feelings and date him, would he have proposed to me? Would we be married?
It was easy to convince myself that staying silent about my feelings for Jace was the right thing to do when he was happy with Eve. But now I fear I'll never stop regretting the missed opportunity.
Regret can eat away at you.
I need to push these feelings aside, lock away my desires, and focus solely on our friendship. After all, I've been through the agony of unrequited love before, and I can't go back there. I can't allow myself to burn with desire for someone I can't have.
I can't.
I won't.
Especially since I can't run away from it like I did last time. Not when our business requires both of us.
I need to take action, something to quell these feelings I have no right to. My gaze shifts back to Thom, still seated near the door. Is it possible that dating someone I genuinely like could lead to falling in love given enough time?
Is it possible to fall out of love with the person who seems like your perfect match?
Only time will tell.