Let Me Be the One: Chapter 7

Ben

Ben

A text from Duncan is waiting for me when I finish work on Friday. After reading it, I’m tempted to throw my phone at the wall in frustration. Instead, I slide it into my back pocket, stand there cracking my knuckles for a moment, then pull the damn thing out again and dial Seb’s number. I know he’s supposed to be working, but I need to make sure he’s still heading out with me tonight.

“I was just about to call you,” Seb says. “Boss wants me to stay late, so I’m not going to make it tonight.”

“Are you serious?”

Now I really want to throw my phone at the wall. The only thing stopping me is the look on Lainey’s face when she thought I’d ignored her and her messages. I don’t want her to try and fail to get in touch with me again.

“Sorry, man. I have to make rent this week, and you know I’m trying to pay my car off. We have tomorrow night. I’d never miss a Saturday night.”

Duncan, Seb, and I went out every Saturday night before I started dating Amber. After the break-up, we started going out on Friday and Saturday nights. Maybe it was wrong for me to expect that it would stay that way forever, but it’s a distraction. One I desperately need.

“I know. And you have a decent excuse for backing out tonight, but this is the second Friday in a row Duncan has cancelled, and he said he can’t make it tomorrow, either.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“He says he’s got some family stuff happening tonight and he can’t get out of it.”

He knows I won’t ask more questions when it comes to his family, as I’ve avoided all of them since Amber broke up with me. It just seems a little convenient that Duncan keeps using them as a reason to cancel. He’s never cared about family time on a Saturday before.

“I think he’s seeing someone,” I say.

“Nah, he’d tell us if he was,” Seb says.

“Would he?”

“Doesn’t make sense why he wouldn’t, unless she’s some hideous sea monster he’s embarrassed to be seen with.”

“Whatever. I want to go out.”

“Then go out without us. You’re good at that lone wolf shit.”

“Randall hauled me over the coals again today for something I didn’t do. I’m so sick of his shit. I need to drink and vent to my mates.”

The boss’s son has a chip on his shoulder and he takes it out on me. Little pissant thinks he’s so much better than me. If he was, he wouldn’t be managing his father’s little security company. Instead, he’d actually have a semi-decent job. Just because he’s pissed off at his old man for forcing him into the business doesn’t give him the right to make up crap and tell me off for it.

“It’s my second warning for something I haven’t done,” I say.

“The guy’s a douche nozzle.”

“The question is: what do I do about it?”

“I don’t know, man. I’m real sorry I can’t make it tonight, but I’ll brainstorm with you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Tomorrow.”

“Why don’t you go out with Lainey? Your hot girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend, and you know it.”

“You like her, you talk to her, and you’re not having sex with her. Sounds like a girlfriend to me.”

“Whatever.”

Three weeks ago, I had dinner with Lainey at Barnaby’s. The guys saw me with her before she left and Seb has been hanging shit on me about it ever since. He doesn’t believe I have a woman in my life I’m just friends with. I’m not sure I believe it, either, but she’s called me a couple of times since then to talk. I might be getting the hang of this male-female friendship stuff.

“Yeah, I might do that.”

After Seb hangs up, I scroll through my contact list for Lainey’s number. My thumb hovers over the call button. It feels weird to be calling someone outside of the guys to go out with, but even if Seb was wrong about Lainey being my girlfriend, Lainey is a friend.

“Hello.”

“Lainey, it’s Ben.”

“Oh, hey! How are you?”

“Annoyed. Listen, I know you’ve probably got plans tonight, since it’s Friday, but I’ve had a shitty day at work and I need a drink. Want to join me at Barnaby’s?”

“Ah, actually, I’m trying to install this security system and—Ah crap. Hang on.”

There’s a pause, and I hear Lainey frantically rummaging around for something before she picks her phone up again. “Sorry. Just lost my screwdriver. I’m so not cut out for this DIY stuff.”

All day I’ve been thinking about a beer out at the pub, but it sounds like Lainey could use my help. “Give me half an hour to get changed and I’ll come over. I’ll take a look at the system, see if I can help.”

“Really?”

She sounds so happy that I find myself smiling for the first time all day. “Yeah. You need me to pick up anything on the way over? Have you eaten?”

“Not yet. I was putting it off until after I’d finished with the alarm system.”

“I can get something from Wong’s Takeaway on the way through.”

“Wong’s sounds good. I haven’t had it since…”

Since we used to have Wong’s with Lucas and Amber. She doesn’t have to finish the sentence.

“Do you want the usual, or something different?”

“No, get the usual. I’m not going to punish my stomach because of memories.”

“Okay. Put the screwdriver down and I’ll tackle the system after dinner. Oh, and Lainey,” I say before she can put her phone down.

“Yes.”

“Have you still got that bottle of bourbon?”

“It’s still full.”

“Good.”

And with that, I hang up. The guys might not be available tonight, but Lainey is. Maybe it’s not going out, getting drunk and getting laid, but I’m not exactly dreading tonight with Lainey, either.

---

It’s more than an hour later when I pull up outside Lainey’s unit. The old woman next door peels back the curtain to look at me. Ignoring the look of disapproval she sends my bike, I grab the bag full of Wong’s Takeaway and head to Lainey’s door.

Within seconds of knocking, Lainey opens the door dressed in a pair of overalls and a white t-shirt underneath. Her long blonde hair is up in a ponytail and her glasses are off today. Since she seems to be able to see me okay, she must be wearing her contact lenses. There’s a smudge of dirt, or perhaps grease, on her left cheek, and I lift my hand, ready to reach out and wipe it off her when I stop myself. We’re friends, and I’m not the touchy-feely type. At least, not usually.

“Hey, come in. I’m starving.” She takes the food from me. “Do you want to eat at the table or in front of the TV?”

“The table’s fine.”

I get along fine with Lainey, but I find it hard to believe we’ll be able to agree on a TV show or movie to watch. Eating at the table seems like a safer option.

“Great. I put the bourbon on the bench for you. Do you want it now or later?”

I follow her into her tiny kitchen and dining area. Sure enough, the bourbon is on the bench. It’s a good brand, but I don’t want bourbon with Chinese food. “I don’t suppose you have beer?”

She grins at me. “Actually, I do.”

“What brand?”

“Rooks.”

“I’ll have one of those, then.”

“Great.” She takes a bottle out of a full six-pack in the fridge and twists the top off it.

Rooks is both an expensive and uncommon brand. “Thanks,” I say when she hands it to me. “You didn’t buy it just for me, did you?”

She looks a little embarrassed as she takes out plates and cutlery and then carries them over to the table. “Yes, but it’s really not a big deal. When you said you were coming over, I went out and got the beer because you were bringing dinner and you said you were going to help me. It’s simply an exchange. Plus, I feel guilty that you’re here with me instead of out with the guys.”

After all that talk about her not wanting to disappoint her dad and Lucas, I’m relieved she’s not worried about that with me. She doesn’t need to be. We’re friends and I like her the way she is.

“Don’t worry about them. They both blew me off.”

“They did?” She pulls a chair out for herself. “Why?”

“Seb’s working and Duncan is doing something with the family.”

“Oh.”

I don’t bother sharing my suspicions about Duncan seeing a woman. I’m too pissed to go into it now. Besides, I came here to vent about the boss’s son, not Duncan.

“I’m going out with Seb tomorrow night, so don’t worry about me wanting to be somewhere else, all right?”

She nods and smiles. “Okay. Can we eat now?”

“Yeah. I can practically hear your stomach growling.”

We sit down and heap our plates full of our favourite foods. I thought having Wong’s with Lainey without Duncan and Amber might be weird, but it isn’t. Instead, it feels… normal.

“You said you had a bad day,” Lainey says, pouring herself a glass of the white wine from the chilled bottle sitting on the table.

“Yeah. My boss is looking at retiring soon, and instead of selling the business or bringing someone in to manage it for him, he’s got his son in to take over for him.”

“You don’t like him, I take it?”

“He’s a dickwad. He doesn’t know anything about the business. It’s clear he doesn’t want to be there. It’s like he lost an argument with Daddy and now he has to do something he hates. And for some reason, he seems to hate me as much as he hates his new role in the company.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.”

“He does,” I correct her. “First, he takes me off crowd control and demotes me to a damn mall cop, and now that there’s no one from the company around when I’m working to back me up, he says my performance isn’t up to scratch. Today he calls me into his office, telling me he’s been getting complaints from the shopping complex I’m currently contracted to about me cutting out before the end of my shifts. Something I’ve never done. He’s making crap up.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I told you; he hates me.”

She frowns, still not looking convinced.

“Lainey, I’m telling you, he does. I never cut out from work. I’m always where I’m supposed to be, even though it’s the most goddamn boring job in the world and I wish every day I never quit personal security.”

“Can you go back to being a bodyguard? I know you quit because of…”

“Amber, yeah. I contacted my old boss, but he’s packed in the company. There are a couple of other companies who’ve expressed an interest in taking me on, but I have to start at the bottom. Those bottom feeder assignments aren’t any better than the ones I take now.”

She nods, shovelling a forkful of noodles and pork into her mouth and looking thoughtful. Once she’s swallowed, she says, “But at least your boss might not be a jerk.”

“Maybe. Eagle Security, the company I work for now, have just secured a new contract and I want in on that, but I don’t think I have a hope in hell of getting Randall to consider me.”

“I think you should ask anyway. It sounds like you have nothing left to lose. If they say no, you should just apply somewhere else. Get out of there. Even if you have to start at the bottom, you’ll work your way up like you did last time. At least you know you’re going upwards.”

“I know, but I feel like I’ve already done that—worked my way up. I know every protocol. I was trained by the best. I don’t want to start at the bottom again.”

“If you know so much, have you thought about going into business with someone, or being your own boss?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

It’s a good question, especially since I would probably enjoy working for myself and being my own boss. There is just one major problem with the idea. “I never finished school. I have no idea if I’d be any good at running my own business.”

She props her chin on her hand and studies me. “I think you would be. There are all kinds of business courses available. You could even finish school if you wanted to.”

“I hated school.”

She smiles at that. “I can just imagine you disrupting the class and getting under the teacher’s skin, and then smoking a cigarette on the oval at lunch time, being the typical bad boy.”

I chuckle. She’s right, to an extent. I did disrupt class, but only because I had no interest in learning. I was pissed off at the world. Or, more accurately, pissed off at my father. And the things the teachers were trying to teach me meant nothing at the time. The idea of studying to start my own business, however… that might hold my attention.

“What about you?” I ask. “You’re writing and working at Dixon’s. Have you got anything else planned for the future?”

“No. All I’ve ever wanted to do is write. Now it seems like I should have taken the managerial role at Dixon’s when they offered it a few years back. It would have been full time and I would have been making more money.”

“What about your BA?”

“It’s a Bachelor of Arts, which gets me nowhere, as Dad says.”

“I’m telling you, Lainey, you need to get over that shit. Be who you are. Own who you are and stop worrying about what he thinks. He doesn’t matter if he can’t see how awesome you are.”

“It isn’t a switch I can just turn off, Ben. I know it would be easier if I didn’t care what he thinks, but the need to please him is so ingrained in me that it’s going to take a while to get past it.”

“Did you talk to him about you and Lucas being done?”

She grimaces. “That went about as well as I expected it to. He was upset I hadn’t told him, and ‘disappointed’ I couldn’t make it work with Lucas.”

“He actually used those words?”

“Yes. I’m a failure at everything in his mind.”

“You’re the farthest thing from a failure I’ve ever seen, Lainey.”

“I couldn’t even bring myself to tell him I quit the magazine. He would assume my only form of employment is Dixon’s, and that would make him disown me.”

“It would be his loss, not yours.”

“Sure. Daughter of a doctor, and I’m working in a supermarket. His loss, definitely.”

“The only thing that should matter to him is that you’re happy.”

“If I told him I was happy… well…” She stops pushing food around her plate and looks at me. “I’m not sure I’d be telling him the truth. I mean, I’m not unhappy, per se, but life is hardly a dream come true.”

“Whose is? We only have one life. You have to live it the way you want to, not the way anyone else wants you to. That’s the best you can do.”

She smiles and puts her fork down. “You’re right, of course.”

I hate seeing her so torn up and hurt because her dad doesn’t recognise what a great person she is. I wish I knew what to say to make her feel better.

At least I can do what I came here to do.

“Why don’t you show me this alarm system you bought?” I suggest.

She nods and gets up to go get it.

“You know you shouldn’t be the one installing it, right?” I ask as she brings me the system. “The company who sold it to you should install it.”

“Ah, but it was cheap because self-installation was required.”

I study the system in my hands. It’s a piece of junk. “How much did you pay for it?”

“They usually retail for three hundred dollars, but they sold it to me for a hundred.”

“Lainey, you were scammed.” I look up at her. “Did you look up the reviews online before you bought it?”

“It was an on-the-spot deal. They came around knocking a few days after the police inquired about a break-in across the road. I guess with the timing and all, I jumped at the chance to buy the thing.”

“They probably knew you would.”

She thinks about it for a moment and then looks crestfallen. “I’m an idiot. Of course they timed it like that for a reason. I totally got scammed, didn’t I?”

“You’re not an idiot. The timing was… convenient, though, yeah.”

For all I know, the break-in could have something to do with the security company that ripped Lainey off. It wouldn’t be the first time it happened.

“At least it works,” she tells me. “They showed me how the sensors work when they were here.”

Before I can tell her not to, she switches the thing on and runs her hand over the sensor. The worst kind of screeching fills my ears.

Quickly shutting the thing off, I shake my head. “Well, at least you’ll deafen any intruder.”

She full on beams at me, pleased I’ve complimented her new security system. “So, can you install it? I’ll look into getting something better, but I really don’t like feeling unsafe.”

The pleading in her eyes isn’t something I can say no to. “I’ll see what I can do.”

The thing is a bitch and a half to put up, unsurprisingly. It’s a piece of cheap and rubbishy plastic, and what should take a minute takes twenty.

“I need another beer,” I tell her once I’m done.

She goes to the fridge, pulls one out and twists the top off before handing it over. We sit back down at the table and I pick up the card deck sitting on the other side of the table.

Shuffling the deck, I look at Lainey sitting across from me. “I didn’t pick you for a card player.”

“Solitaire helps me get over blocks when I’m writing.”

“Ever play anything else?”

“Not really. Dad’s never had any interest in card games. Neither has Cass.”

“I’ll teach you one, then.”

I haven’t played cards in years, but I remember the game I played with my uncle the few times he visited.

Lainey nods enthusiastically. “Okay.”

She smiles, tucking the lock of hair that has broken free of her ponytail back behind her ear. It’s something I’ve seen her do a hundred times before, yet I slow my shuffling as I look at her. Really look at her. Lainey is gorgeous. Not in the bowl-you-over and stun-you-stupid sort of way Amber is, but in the way that creeps up on you, then smacks you over the head, forcing you to take notice. Or maybe I’ve just been oblivious. Even Seb pointed out her attractiveness when he saw her sitting with the cast of Green’s Law.

“I think I have some potato chips in the cupboard if you want something to nibble on,” she offers.

“If you put them out, I’ll eat them.”

She beams at me, and my heart beats just a bit faster in my chest. She’s just so happy. Something as simple as sharing food and playing cards with me seems to please her. I can’t remember the last time things felt this effortless with a woman. It must be because we’re friends. Since I’ve never had a female friend, I couldn’t say for sure. What I do know is that I’m starting to like having Lainey in my life, a lot, and if I want to keep her friendship, I can’t think about how gorgeous she is or sleep with her. I don’t do complicated hook-ups or relationships. Not anymore. Having sex with her would ruin everything.

Turning my attention back to the deck of cards in my hands, I keep shuffling. As Lainey gets up to search through her cupboards, she chats to me about her work and the latest book she’s writing. I put my thoughts of Lainey’s attractiveness on ice and try to relax, focusing on what she’s saying, enjoying our easy conversation.

If someone had told me four months ago that I’d be hanging out with a woman and teaching her to play cards instead of trying to get her into bed, I’d have laughed in their face. Yet here I am, joking and drinking with Lainey, and teaching her the rules to the game my uncle taught me long ago. It’s not the Friday night I planned, but it’s the best one I’ve had in a long time.

I wonder what that says.

Actually, I don’t think I want to know.