Let Me Be the One: Chapter 8

Lainey

Lainey

In the year after we both turned eighteen, Cass dragged me out with her a lot—usually to clubs where I danced all night and got blisters on my feet that were as big and bothersome as the guys that hit on me. So, when Cass insisted I go to a club with her this Saturday, I naturally assumed we were going to a nightclub, not a dive bar north of the city that looks like it’s a meeting place for miscreants.

The Golden Roo houses a small stage, old ripped red leather seating, and around twenty pool tables. The walls and floors are covered by a thick blanket of dirt and grime, and I’m betting this place hasn’t been properly cleaned for more than a decade. I dread to imagine the germs lurking under the filth. I feel as though I need a tetanus shot just from walking through the door.

If I’d known we were coming here, I wouldn’t have dressed in the clothes I’m currently wearing. Jeans and a jacket would have been fine. Instead, I’m dressed in an incredibly short purple and black striped one-sleeve dress, and my three-inch see-through lace black heels. I have a black jacket on, but it only covers my dress, not my stockingless legs.

One of the men standing at the bar undresses me with his beady eyes and gives me a nearly toothless smile, causing me to shudder. I may run screaming if he actually walks over here. I long for the safety of the nightclub I believed we were going to. A place where bouncers take care of any problems and the music isn’t a horrendous cross between metal and grunge that makes you wish you were deaf.

Cass has been wearing a slightly guilty expression ever since she told me she couldn’t find anyone else to go out with her tonight. I left the new manuscript I just started working on at home because she didn’t want to go out alone.

“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing here?” I ask her.

She’s too busy scanning the place to answer my question. Clearly, she’s looking for something or someone. After a moment, her gaze locks on a table near the back of the place and a smile slides across her face. At first, I can’t tell if I know the man who’s playing pool by himself, but the moment he turns towards us, I realise that I do know him.

“Cass! You told me this was going to be a fun night out. Not that you were stalking Duncan.”

It’s Saturday night, Ben’s dedicated night out with the guys, and I can’t help wondering if he’s on his way here. Excitement pings through me at the thought of seeing him, but I’m not sure he’ll feel as happy to see me. He’s religious about this one night of the week he and the guys get together and go out. And hook up.

She gives me a sheepish smile. “I’m not stalking him. I’m kind of, um, dating him.”

“What?”

Judging by the way Duncan grins as he takes in Cass in her little black dress, her presence is definitely wanted. The two of them make googly eyes at each other until I put my hand on my friend’s shoulder and shake her to get her attention.

“Explain, Cass.”

Cass holds up two fingers to Duncan, indicating we’ll be a couple of minutes. After he blows her a kiss, I take her by the arm and steer her towards the bar. I ask the bartender for a pre-mixed bottle of vodka and cranberry, and Cass asks for a beer as we take a seat at the bar.

“Best to drink something that was bottled somewhere else,” she says, looking at the dirt on the walls.

My thoughts exactly.

“Want to tell me when this started?” I ask as the bartender puts the drinks in front of us.

“About a month and a half ago.”

“After Barnaby’s?” I ask sharply.

I knew that Cass and Duncan exchanged numbers six weeks ago, the same night I reconnected with Ben, but she never said a word about them seeing each other after that.

“I know you’re upset with me,” she begins.

“I thought he never called you.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t say anything at all! Every time I brought up Duncan, you changed the subject. I figured it was a sore spot and stopped asking. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Duncan isn’t like the guys I usually date.”

“So?”

Like Ben, Duncan has the whole bad boy vibe down pat. He has dark blonde hair, tattoos, and posts in his ear. Generally, Cass sticks to dating actors, musicians, or professional types rather than bad boys. But she also looks for people who are ambitious and Duncan fits that bill. He’s working on expanding his parents’ business and plastics empire, and has already been successful in increasing their profit margin.

“And I’m not the kind of girl Duncan usually dates, either,” she adds.

“Duncan doesn’t date, period.”

Cass frowns and I immediately feel bad for blurting out my thoughts, especially since I hardly know the guy. Amber once told me her brother would probably never settle down, and Ben has said enough to make me think Duncan is as much a manwhore as he and Seb are. However, a couple of conversations with Duncan and tidbits of information from Amber and Ben hardly qualify me as an expert on his character.

“I’m sorry. You caught me off guard. I really don’t know him well enough,” I say. “I’m probably wrong.”

“No.” Cass looks down at her manicured hands for a moment before looking back up at me. “You’re right. He’s the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. But he hasn’t left me yet. I really like him, Lainey.”

I’m nervous for her, but I smile and try to push the doubts from my mind.

“And I’m sure he’s thinking about committing to me because he invited me here tonight so he can tell his friends about us,” she says.

“Well, that’s great!”

Cass is one of my favourite people, and even though I never would have picked Duncan as a match for her, I want to see them together if he makes her happy. That said, I’m not sure Saturday night—‘guy’s night’—is the best time to spill the beans.

“Duncan isn’t sure how Ben and Sebastian are going to take things.”

That makes two of us, but I can’t say that to her. “There’s only one way they should take it, and that’s to be happy for the two of you.”

Her smile is a little sad. “I would have thought so, too, but Duncan tells me the three of them are—were—confirmed bachelors, ready to party and hook up until the day they die.”

“Ben dated Amber for a year. He might have spent the rest of his life with her if she and Lucas had been able to fight their attraction to one another.”

“That’s just one more reason why Duncan is worried. Ben’s pretty down on love at the moment. He’s all about ‘dicks before chicks’ and all this other stuff about ‘bro codes’.” Cass makes air quotes around the terms she would never usually use. “Duncan is pretty sure Ben is going to flip out and go off the deep end about it.”

“Even if he does in the beginning, hopefully he’ll quickly realise that he doesn’t want to stand in the way of his friend’s happiness. If Duncan doesn’t want to go out to hook up anymore because he likes you, it’s hardly a violation of the bro code.”

“I know. Ben should be happy for him.”

“Totally. Friends are supposed to support each other.”

“And normally they’re very good at doing that. But when they’ve had something happen to turn them against love, or they’re heartbroken, it may not be as easy for them.”

For a moment I think she’s still talking about Ben, but she’s studying me, her gaze gentle, and I realise she’s referring to me.

“Cass, I’m happy for you, really. I don’t know how you could think I might not be.”

“You’ve been depressed and heartbroken for months. You can’t blame me for being a little worried you might not jump for joy at the news.”

I reach out and put my hand on her arm. “I will always be happy for you if you’re happy.”

“I’ve just been so worried about you these past months. The only person who seems to have been able to pull you out of your funk is Ben.”

“He has helped,” I agree.

He’s been a great friend to me this past month, giving me advice, helping me install my cheap alarm system, and having a weekly drink with me at Barnaby’s. I text him if I’m having a bad day, and he calls me back. I look forward to any time we spend together—in person or on the phone.

“He’s been able to help you in a way I haven’t,” Cass says. “And Duncan thinks you’ve been helping Ben just as much. It’s actually why we wanted to tell both of you tonight. He thinks Ben will take the news better if you’re around.”

“I’m not sure you’re right, but I’ll do my best to make sure he doesn’t flip out. Especially since it seems I owe you for making you worry about me. I really wish you’d been able to tell me all this sooner, Cass.”

My friend’s expression is apologetic. “I wasn’t sure that what was happening between Duncan and I was going to last for any length of time. I mean, at first I thought I was a one-night stand. But then one night became two nights, which became three, which became—”

I put my hand up to stop her. “I get it.”

“I’ve only just started thinking this might be serious. This whole telling-the-friends-thing is a big step for him. I’m still kind of waiting for him to turn around and say it’s all a big mistake and he wants to go back to sleeping with a different woman every night.”

It’s odd for me to see Cass unsure of anything. She’s one of the most confident people I know. I want to reassure her, but Duncan walks up behind her before I can.

“Evening, ladies.”

Cass’s face lights up as Duncan puts an arm around each of us. Clearly, Cass’s two minutes are up and Duncan can’t stay away any longer.

“Duncan,” I reply.

Cass’s response is to wrap her arms around his neck, and when he pulls her tightly against him, she kisses him passionately. After they finally break apart, Duncan looks at her with so much intensity and heat that I feel it in my bones. My heart twists painfully in my chest at the sight. Maybe Cass was right to think I can’t handle this. Little daggers of jealousy are stabbing me all over as the two of them continue to stare at each other.

Lucas never looked at me like that. There were times when he looked at me with affection and lust, but the only person Lucas looked at with that much intensity was Amber. Miserably, I can’t recall any guy before Lucas looking at me that way, either. In every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve worked hard to make my partner happy. I’ve sacrificed what I want for them every single time, and still no man has looked at me like that.

“Do you think you can help us?” Duncan asks, finally tearing his gaze away from Cass and looking at me. “Can you convince Ben this is a good thing?”

“I’ll do my best.”

Seeing Cass and Duncan all lovey-dovey is more difficult than I’d expected, which is all the more reason for me to be here for Ben. I know our friends being together won’t be any easier on him and he might need to talk about it. Of course, he has Seb to vent to, but now he has me, too.

“Is Seb likely to need convincing?” I ask.

Duncan shakes his head. “Not as much as Ben. Ah, look, the guys are here.”

When I turn my attention towards the door of the bar, I see Ben and Seb walk in. Ben is in his standard uniform for going out—black pants, belt, boots, and a shirt. Only the colour of his shirt seems to change. Tonight it’s royal blue. His hair is long and mussed up and his stubble is at least a day old. I’ve never seen anyone pull off untidy as well as Ben does. Seriously.

Impulsively, I put my hand up and wave to Ben. A myriad of emotions passes over his features when he sees me. Surprise, happiness, and then, finally, wariness as he takes in Cass standing next to Duncan and me.

His mood is as dark as a thundercloud as he walks over to us. “What’s going on?” he demands as he comes to a stop next to me.

He hasn’t stopped scowling since he saw Cass at the bar, and now he turns that scowl on my bare legs and made-up face.

“Not much,” I say, resisting the urge to hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek like I do with my other friends. Despite how annoyed he looks, I’m happy to see him.

“I asked Cass and Lainey to come out with us tonight and play a little pool,” Duncan says.

Ben looks less than impressed and I understand completely. Any day other than Saturday would have been better for the unveiling of Duncan’s secret girlfriend. Too late to point that out now, though.

“Duncan bet me I couldn’t beat your arse at pool,” I say. “You better give me a chance to win that bet, Armstrong.”

I have no bet with Duncan, but my first boyfriend taught me how to play and I might as well put my skills to good use and ease the tension building in our little group. Duncan can talk to Ben after the two of them have relaxed a little.

“You’re not dressed for pool,” Ben says, looking over my outfit once more.

The look of disapproval on his face is similar to one my father might display if I wore this dress to a family dinner. I’m about to start tugging at the hemline, but I stop myself at the last second. Where has my desire to please a man gotten me? Not loved. Not approved of. Yet, the need to please is so ingrained in me that I’m going to need an industrial-sized wrench to pull it out.

Or maybe I just need Ben.

He isn’t my father or my lover, and I don’t have to worry about disappointing him. I trust him. He’s a friend who likes me the way I am. He might be the perfect person to help me break my habit of trying to please a guy. And he can coach me in perfecting his ‘I don’t care’ attitude at the same time.

“I don’t need to be dressed appropriately to whoop your butt,” I say.

Ben’s scowl finally disappears and he shrugs. “You talk a big game, Lainey. You better have the goods to back it up.”

I grin. “I do.”

Duncan touches me on the arm. “I booked us a couple of tables over there.” He points in the direction where we first spotted him.

“Come on,” I say to Ben, sliding off the stool and walking towards one of the designated tables. “Show me what you’ve got.”