Lights, Camera, Kiss Me: Episode 11
Pointless to Fight This
✯Ryan✯
My head spins so fast I'm worried it might fall off my shoulders. Westlaker is here? Wasn't he supposed to be headed for Hollywood to shoot his big movie? My confusion quickly morphs into fury as I take in Mac's stunned expression.
"Mac, are you okay?" Jazz asks.
"I'm fine. Just... surprised. What could he want with Blainesworth?"
"There's something else I have to tell you," Jazz says.
"Do I need to sit down?"
"On the same day the headline came out about you and Ryan, there was a story about Danny and Angel. They broke up. I would have said something earlier, but I thought you had enough on your plate at the time."
"Right."
"Besides, I wasn't sure whether you would be interested or not..."
"That doesn't explain what Westlaker is doing here," I growl.
For some reason, I can't bear to hear Mac's reply to Jazz's comment. She told me months ago that she was over Westlaker. And I sure as hell hope it's true. I don't want to think about the alternative, that my co-star still harbours feelings for her prick of an ex.
Jazz gives me a pointed look. "Why don't you go find out?"
I know Jazz is just trying to get rid of me so she can speak to Mac privately, but I don't care. It's a damn good idea.
"I think I will," I say.
Exiting the dressing room swiftly, I leave the two women behind without a word. I navigate the hallway and ascend the stairs, finding myself outside Blainesworth's executive office.
A sudden burst of laughter fills the air as the door swings open, revealing Danny Westlaker stepping out.
"It was great to see you again, Mick," Danny says.
Blainesworth's voice follows, "Come back as soon as you've talked to Mackenzie."
It's all I can do not to grab the guy by the collar and tell him that if he so much as puts a foot anywhere near Mac, he can consider himself as good as dead. Westlaker closes the door behind him.
"Hey, how's it going?" he sticks out his hand. "Danny Westlaker."
Though we've both been to the Logies and various after-parties over the years, this is our first real conversation. I never had strong feelings about Westlaker before, but after hearing what he did to Mac, my opinion shifted. Now, I can’t stand the guy. The dick in front of me hadn't just treated her badly – he broke her heart.
Not only is it infuriating to me, it's also completely baffling. Mac is pretty much the perfect woman. Sweet-natured, beautiful, caring, and a fine actress to boot. The blonde whom Westlaker dumped her for has nothing on her. Nothing. His loss, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to curl my fingers into my palms and beat him to a bloody pulp.
Maybe it's best I don't ask Westlaker why he's here. The potential for our conversation to end in violence is high. He may look as if he knows the inside of a gym well, but he's two inches shorter. I can take him easily, should it ever come to that. Some of the tension leaves my body.
"I know who you are," I say, ignoring his outstretched hand. "Stay away from Mac."
I leave Westlaker standing there and knock on Blainesworth's door a couple of times before opening it and sticking my head in.
"Ryan, son, come in, come in," Blainesworth waves me in. I know I'm supposed to make an appointment with Amanda, Blainesworth's assistant, for any visit that may last more than a few minutes, but this won't take long.
I sit down opposite the producer. "I hope you don't mind my dropping by."
"Not at all. What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering what Danny Westlaker is doing in this neck of the woods."
Blainesworth leans back in his chair and curiously appraises me. "And would your interest be personal or professional?"
Aware of the conversation our producer just had with Mac, I don't want to admit it's personal. I don't want to give Blainesworth any more reason to go after her or believe we’re involved in any way. Explaining the article to him seems meaningless now, especially when Mac had told me she isn't falling for me.
"Professional," I answer finally.
Blainesworth continues to study me. "You know, I had Mackenzie in here earlier today. She assured me that the two of you aren't seeing each other."
"She was telling the truth," I say.
"Good. I'm sure you already know I don't approve of involvement between cast members, and Mackenzie spiralled badly when her last relationship ended."
"Yes, I do," I draw in a breath. "Which is why I don't understand what Westlaker is doing here. He was the one who pushed her into that spiral."
"I'm afraid those questions would be better directed at Danny himself. He has his reasons for being here, and it's not my place to share them."
"Then, can you tell me he's not going to be working with us on Hart's Valley? Mac isn't the only person who would have a problem with that. I think I speak for the whole cast when I say we'd all find that... unacceptable."
"I'm well aware of the way the cast of Hart's Valley has knit together and formed close bonds, and I have no intention of offering Danny a permanent spot on the show. However, Hart's Valley isn't the only production I may or may not have up my sleeve right now."
"Okay," I say.
So, it sounds like Blainesworth has another show in the pipeline and he is looking to hire Westlaker for that. Honestly, I'd be a million times happier if the other man leaves the country and stays far away from Mac, but at least Blainesworth isn't expecting them to work together.
"Danny and I were, however, discussing the idea of him doing a brief guest spot on Hart's Valley," Blainesworth says. "But only if it was something Mackenzie felt comfortable with."
"You're joking, right?"
The words slip out before I can hold them back.
"Just for one or two weeks," Blainesworth says. "She might decide she can put the past behind her. In fact, it could be the best thing for her. Give her a chance to show her critics her mettle."
What a load of bullshit. This is about nothing more than ratings and exploitation. How many of our viewers, and Junction Hospital viewers, would tune in to see if Mackenzie Lauren and Danny Westlaker can still heat up the screen like the old times?
The idea of Mac and Danny Westlaker having any on-screen chemistry makes me want to retch.
"You can't ask Mac to work with him again," I say.
"The decision is hers," Blainesworth says coolly. "And hers only. If she doesn't want to work with him, all she has to do is say no."
❤️Mac❤️
Mac "Are you really okay?" Jazz asks me for what feels like the fifteenth time. At first, her revelation had stunned me, but now that the shock of hearing Danny's name has worn off, I can honestly say I'm a lot calmer than I would have been some months ago.
My ex-boyfriend's presence here doesn't change the fact that I still have to kiss Ryan tomorrow. My job is still on the line. In other words, Danny Westlaker is the least of my worries.
"Because this must have come as a shock."
"I guess it was, but I'm over it now."
Jazz looks at me in disbelief.
"I shouldn't give him a second thought until we know for sure why he's here, right?"
"So, you don't want to talk about this?"
"I really don't."
"Okay then. If we're done talking about Danny, can we talk about your meeting with Blainesworth?"
"I told you-"
"Or what's going on between you and Ryan."
I cross my arms across my chest. "There's nothing going on between us."
"Then why did Brad say this morning that Ryan was supposed to be keeping his distance from you?"
"What?" My heart drops.
A hesitant knock sounds on the door.
"Hang on," Jazz instructs, holding up her hand before walking to the dressing room door and pulling it open.
"Hey, is Mac here?"
I know who it is without seeing his face. There was a time when Danny's voice would have made my knees buckle. Thankfully, those reactions are completely absent now. Hardly surprising, I suppose, considering how I feel about Ryan.
"Mac, it's for you."
I step around Jazz to see Danny standing in doorway. Even though his voice doesn't affect me the way it used to, I still expected to feel something when I saw him.
I take in his short sandy blond hair and deep blue eyes, and all I feel is... sadness. Once upon a time, I was so taken with this man that I almost threw my career away for him. He promised me we had something special and led me to believe he cared about me. Then he took his fill of me and dumped me for his next leading lady.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him.
"Can't an old friend just drop in to say hi?"
Danny offers me a lopsided grin – the kind that used to send my heart into overdrive. Now it simply makes me wary.
"We aren't friends. We were never friends."
"Mac, if you don't need me, I'm going to go and hunt down some sugar and caffeine," Jazz interrupts.
I nod to her, letting her know I will be fine by myself.
"I'm sorry," Danny says.
I shrug. I don't care for his apology. It's overdue now, and he’s only here because he wants something. I just don't know what it is yet.
"I've moved on," I say.
"To Ryan Moore?"
At Ryan's name, my stomach flips and my pulse quickens. Does Danny know? Something must have shown on my face because Danny takes one look at it and quickly puts his hands up. "There are rumours," he says.
"There always are."
He has no right to ask me anything about my personal life.
"I bumped into him when I came out of Michael's office. Honestly, I thought he was going to knock my teeth out. Then he told me to stay away from you."
"I wish you'd taken his advice," I say.
"Mac, can we, you know, try and move past what happened between us?"
"I haven't heard from you since I got dumped from Junction Hospital, Danny. Why are you here? What do you want?"
He sighs. "I don't know if you heard, but Angel and I broke up."
"I heard," I say unsympathetically.
"I know you probably don't care to hear this, but I was very much in love with her." He corrects himself. "Still am in love with her."
"You're right. I don't care to hear that."
"She left me for one of the extras on Junction Hospital," he says with a wry smile.
"My heart bleeds for you," I tell him, though I am quietly amused.
That must have been a blow to his ego. Danny always considered himself to be in a league above all of us when it comes to acting, even Angel and myself. Being dumped for an extra couldn't have been something he expected.
"She cheated on me, and when I caught her she broke it off, kicked me out of the house we'd just bought together, and told me she didn't love me anymore."
Raising an eyebrow, I ask, "Do you expect me to feel sorry for you?"
He sighs. "Can I come in? Please?"
I don't want him here in my dressing room, but he obviously needs to talk to me about something. Reluctantly, I move aside.
"Thank you," he says, walking past me and taking a seat on the sofa in the room. "You know, I never knew. I never knew how hard it must have been for you... to work with me until I tried working with Angel after she dumped me."
"It wasn't easy, and in the end, I couldn't," I turn around to face him.
"I'm sorry for the pain that I caused you."
He really is sorry. I can see that. His eyes are full of genuine sympathy – his expression remorseful.
"I can't work with her," he continues. "I've tried, but I can't. My contract is up, and I don't want to renew it."
"Well, I guess it's lucky you have your movie deal."
"It fell through."
I look at him blankly. "I thought the contract was ironclad."
"I did too. But then Bryce Webster came back to them after reconsidering the role and decided he wanted it. Turns out those Hollywood lawyers can work magic when they want to. Bryce is in. I'm out."
Do I actually feel sorry for him now? Maybe. Just a little bit. It sounds as though he has suffered quite a lot lately. And he does seem genuinely sorry for what he put me through.
"I'm expecting it to be all over the news tomorrow," he says.
"At least you're prepared for it," I say.
It is easier to deal with the headlines when they are expected. But when they come out of left field, it isn't just the damage they leave behind that one has to deal with, it’s the shock too.
"As prepared as I can be. Anyway, I'm pained to admit it, but I'm here to ask the enemy for my next job."
I smile. The rivalry between Junction Hospital's production company and Hart's Valley's production company is well known in our business. Now that Danny Westlaker is essentially back on the market, Blainesworth will be itching to get his hands on him.
Does that mean I have to work with him again? Apologies aside, his presence here still makes me uneasy. I don't want to be his co-star again.
"You want to work on Hart's Valley?" I ask.
Danny shakes his head. "Blainesworth has something else lined up." He pauses for a moment. "He did mention something about a guest spot on Hart's Valley, though. Depending on whether you agree or not, of course."
"A guest spot?"
"Just until they start shooting the pilot I signed on for."
I shake my head.
"Just think about it," he pleads. "Blainesworth said he wants an answer within forty-eight hours."
"He did, did he?" I ask coldly.
The producer had hauled me into his office this morning to grill me about my relationship with my current leading man. Now he wants me to work with the previous leading man I "lost it" over? I want to barge into his office and call him all kinds of names that will no doubt land me in a lot of trouble.
"He thought you might want a chance to undo some of the negative press that stemmed from our break-up."
I don't believe for a moment that's it. Executive producers only care about one thing – ratings. I know people will be interested to see the two of us working together again. Blainesworth is probably sitting in his office right now, rubbing his hands in glee as he thinks about outdoing Junction Hospital in the ratings. All at my expense.
"It would just be for two to three weeks tops, Mac. Will you think about it?"
Do I even have a choice? If I say no, would that get me into even more trouble with our producer? Will my job be at risk if I refuse? I don't want to agree to their demands, but this could just be the ticket to get Blainesworth off my case. It has been such a long day, and I can't think this through properly right now.
"Give me the forty-eight hours," I tell him tiredly.
I bite my bottom lip and try to focus on the script in my hands. I had been counting on being at home when I did my last read-through for this scene. However, due to a location issue, my kiss scene with Ryan has been rescheduled at the last minute. Instead of shooting first thing tomorrow morning, it has been moved to be the last scene we are shooting today.
Now, it’s eleven o'clock at night, and we’re sitting in the Pint and Elephant Pub in South Yarra waiting to shoot. Even though the director, Mitch Davis, will call us over at any moment, I don't feel ready or prepared. I haven't mastered the scene. I’m on edge because I don't know how I’m going to react when Ryan kisses me. If our past kisses are any indication, I’m in a lot of trouble.
As it stands, I am too scared to look at Ryan. Every time I do, I can't stop myself from staring at his mouth and remembering the way he kissed me, the feeling of him buried deep inside me. I feel my lower belly contract with desire at the memory. God, what if I say Ryan's name instead of Stone's on set? You have to focus, Mackenzie. Focus!
"You should have said no straight away."
As if I don't have enough to deal with, Ryan hasn't stopped hassling me about the fact that I've agreed to consider Danny's guest spot. I don't need to tell him what Danny wanted; our producer has already filled him in. Now everyone else knows. It is impossible to keep secrets for very long when we are all friends. How much longer will it be until the whole cast knows how I feel about Ryan?
"I don't understand why you're thinking about this," he says when I remain silent.
"Maybe that's because your job hasn't been threatened in the past twenty-four hours, Ryan."
I immediately regret the sharpness of my tone, but I’m tired and grumpy, and after the long day I’ve had, I don't want to discuss Danny with Ryan. I know Ryan cares about me, but only as a friend, so it really isn't any of his business whether I agree or not.
My decision doesn't affect him. He has nothing to lose and nothing to gain either way. We aren't together. I'm not his girlfriend, and he's made it clear he wants nothing more than casual sex, although that offer was pretty much been withdrawn after the article came out.
"Blainesworth can't fire you for not working with Westlaker."
"I know that, but he can make my life difficult, and maybe I just want to get him off my back."
"Mac-"
"Listen, I appreciate your concern, but we're about to go on set, and I don't want to talk about my ex-boyfriend now."
✯Ryan✯
I clamp my mouth shut. Mac clearly doesn't want to hear my thoughts on the matter, which is frustrating as hell. I know I don't have a say in the matter, but I want one anyway. Her reluctance to discuss it is only adding to my bad mood.
Ever since I talked to Blainesworth, anger and frustration have been boiling away inside me. I’m furious with this entire situation. And the longer I think about Blainesworth threatening Mac, the angrier I feel. Where does our producer get off? He had no right to threaten Mac when her performances and attitude on set have always been phenomenal. Our personal lives are none of Blainesworth's business. It shouldn't matter to him what Mac's relationship is with me or what her feelings are, as long as she can still function the way she needs to, and no harm comes to the show.
To hear Mac say she is considering working with her arse-clown ex-boyfriend because she feels like her job is at stake makes me enraged. The scene we’re shooting is in a small pub. I should probably do a last-minute read-through like Mac, but what I really want to do is get behind the bar and start breaking things.
Maybe there’s an advantage to this. I’m so mad right now that I've stopped worrying about needing to kiss Mac in a few minutes. My focus is entirely on the messed-up situation Mac is in. Not to say I hadn’t taken a second look when Mac walked out of make-up earlier dressed in a leather jacket, lowcut top and short skirt, but my anger overrides everything else.
"Ryan, Mac, let's go," the director shouts.
That is until Mac shoots me a nervous look, and I am suddenly nervous too. I can feel butterflies in my stomach. Butterflies? Really? I’m a man. I'm not supposed to get butterflies. Then again, Mac has a way of making me feel things I've never felt before.
When Mac's gaze slides to my mouth, I feel lust pour through me. Her eyes darken, and she traces her lower lip with her tongue before her gaze flicks back up and meets mine.
"We'll be fine," I say.
Hopefully, she has no idea I’m trying to reassure myself as much as I’m trying to reassure her. Judging by the uncertainty in her eyes, however, she may have guessed.
"Ready?" the director asks.
❤️Mac❤️
I want to shake my head. I want to bolt for the exit and not look back, but I can't. At least with this scene being brough forward, everyone who isn't needed for the take has gone home. Meaning, it’s just me, Ryan, some extras, the director, and our camera crew. No Blainesworth. No co-stars. I can do this.
I take my position on the bar stool as instructed and wait for them to call action. My heart starts to beat erratically as Ryan comes to sit down beside me. As soon as my eyes lock with his, I can feel the change I always feel when we both step into character. I stumble a little over my first two lines, but no one calls cut, and we continue to push through the scene.
Soon enough, I find myself slipping into the easy pattern Ryan and I usually fall into while we work together. I do my best to look jealous as the female bartender flirts with Stone and walks away.
"Well, it wouldn't be a normal day in Hart's Valley without every woman in town fawning all over you, would it?"
"Is that jealousy I detect in your voice, Brianna? Because you know, just say the word, and I'll show you what you're missing out on."
"Pfft, why would I be jealous of them, Stone? If they knew you, they'd stay away from you like I try to."
He looks at his watch. "You've chosen to sit here and talk to me for the past twenty minutes. You can't think I'm too bad," he says with a grin that makes my legs feel wobbly.
"I have no idea what I was thinking," I say.
"You know, Brianna, you used to sound a lot more convincing when you were pretending to hate me."
"I was never pretending."
I hop down from my stool, but Ryan follows me, grabbing my arm so I can't leave.
He brushes one finger down the side of my face. "Are you sure about that? Are you sure you're not trying to cover how you really feel? What you really want?"
"And what would that be?"
"This."
Ryan lowers his mouth to mine. I freeze, just like the script suggests I am supposed to do, before I wrench my mouth from his and try to push him away.
"It's pointless to fight this. Trust me, I've tried," he says. "This is bigger than us."
Then his lips are crashing down on mine, and I forget to breathe. I forget to think. I forget what is in the script and the fact that we have an audience. My blood rushes around my body, and my heart goes crazy. My hands clutch at his jacket so I can pull him closer.
One of his hands tangles in my hair so he can hold me in position while he deepens our kiss. The hot wet slide of his tongue against mine causes me to shake from the violent need surging through me. And when I feel his body harden against mine, I can't hold back my moan of approval. I can't hold back at all.
I let my hands stroke over his chest, caressing and touching the hard muscles before moving up to grab his broad shoulders. I don't know when I can do this again. I don't know when he'll be back in my arms again.
All too soon, he's pulling away from me, our kiss over. "Are you really going to stand there and deny how you feel about me, Brianna? After that?"
"You're an arrogant jerk," I say nowhere near as coolly as I am supposed to say it. "That's how I feel about you."
"You can lie to me, but don't lie to yourself. You're better than that," he tells me before he walks away from me.
At least I haven't forgotten my lines, which is lucky considering Ryan's words hit me like a punch in the gut—even if they are Stone's. Can I stand here and deny how I feel about him? Can I lie to myself? No, not anymore.
I’m not falling in love with my co-star. I’m in love with my co-star. I am one hundred percent, truly, deeply in love with Ryan Moore. And as soon as he gets over the attraction he feels towards me and moves on to the next woman who takes his fancy, I already know he will shatter me worse than Danny ever did.
Heavy applause brings me back to earth with a crash. They’re applauding—the director, the extras, and the crew are all clapping. I may be destined for heartbreak, but at least I nailed my scene.