I Love You, My Neighbour: Chapter 13
I need more fun in my life
Hi everyone!
Hope you're all having a fantastic week. Just wanted to give you a quick update: Chapters 13-18 are now live on my Substack. I know I've been trying to limit these email updates, but it seems like many of you are reading, so I just wanted to give you a heads up. Thank you to everyone who's been reading and showing support. You can find the links to the other chapters at the end of this post.
All my love,
Elle
Kristy
"Kristy, here, take this."
"Thanks," I say, accepting the beer Jamie holds out to me.
The sun has been hot and heavy this afternoon, and even though it has cooled down a lot in the past hour, I still feel warm. Probably because I'm dressed in sweatpants and a baggy jumper to hide my body. After the comments Mum made about me at our last dinner, I'm not keen on wearing revealing clothes in the presence of four incredibly attractive guys. It was embarrassing enough this morning when Logan turned up and saw me in my yoga outfit.
My self-esteem with the opposite sex has never been extraordinary, but I can admit it took the beating of a lifetime after my last break-up. Now, I'm losing weight for me, because my health matters, not so I'll be attractive to the opposite sex. That said, I'm looking forward to feeling more comfortable in my skin—and comfortable with showing skin.
Today, at least, I've burned a few calories. Who would have thought painting could make one sweat so much? Though, I suspect it wasn't the actual act of painting walls that made me perspire. Rather, it was painting walls with Logan. Instead of giving me a demonstration of how to paint and leaving me to it, my neighbour picked up a roller and joined me.
It's like I'm waking up from a coma.
That is what Logan said about his night out clubbing with Kyle.
Disturbingly, I went ahead and told him I can relate. I've been in a coma of sorts. The difference? It's Logan who has woken me. I'd been too aware of that fact as we'd talked about it. After years with little interest in men and dating, Logan has reminded me I'm not immune to the opposite sex. Even talking to him while we painted, my heart rate felt faster than usual. And every time he'd ended up in my personal space, I felt flushed and a little breathless.
He'd asked me if I wanted to take my jumper off because I looked hot. Talk about embarrassment! I lied and mumbled something about not having anything on underneath, which of course only caused my face to feel ten times hotter.
After we finished painting, I went outside to help Jamie shuffle dirt around the yard for the plants Logan is planning to put in. Escaping Logan for a short time allowed my heart rate to rest and my body to return to its normal temperature.
Now that Jamie and I have finished, we're drinking the beers Kyle brought back from the shops an hour ago.
"This is the life," Jamie says, taking a seat on the edge of the new decking.
I take a seat next to Jamie as Kyle comes out the back door. He lets the back door slam behind him in his haste to grab a beer from the cold six-pack chilling in the esky on the deck.
"Can't believe you guys are drinking my beers without me," Kyle grumbles.
"I would have waited, but Kristy looked thirsty," Jamie says, winking at me.
"That's okay then," Kyle says, cracking a beer open as he sits down on the other side of me. He leans in, nudging my shoulder gently with his. "Can't have my favourite baker going thirsty."
"I appreciate that," I tell him, raising my beer in a salute.
Logan and Adam walk out the back door a minute later, each grabbing a beer before sitting down on the foldout chairs facing us.
Even in a pair of grey work shorts, work boots, and a white and red t-shirt, Logan looks too good. His tanned skin and muscular arms pop underneath the white in his shirt. Unbidden, an image of his eight-pack skates through my mind. When my gaze collides with his, heat ignites low in my belly. I raise my eyes upwards, praying I won't blush again. Why can't I forget what Logan looks like without a shirt on?
"Kristy," Logan says. "I need to get your phone number."
Surprised, I let my gaze fall on his face. "What for?"
He shifts, almost squirming, then shrugs. "I think it would be handy. You know, in case you need to tell me someone broke into my house or something."
"Oh. Sure. But shouldn't I have your number then, too?"
"Good point. Remind me later, and we'll swap."
"Okay." The thought of Logan and me swapping numbers has ballerinas and tap dancers competing in my stomach. Which is ridiculous. He is just being neighbourly. It makes perfect sense for him to suggest we swap numbers. There could be many reasons in the future why we'd need to get in touch with each other. None of which are any cause for the nervous excitement racing through me.
Desperate to forget the tap dancers in my stomach, I focus on the setting sun and the slashes of pink and red above the tree line. With a Paul Kelly rock song blaring from the radio inside, the sun beginning to set in the sky, and the guys surrounding me, I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time. I've been so tired lately. Since it's always been my choice to work and get up early, I'd never complain, but it has been nice to have the day off. It had been nice to sleep in this morning, and it had been equally nice to hang out with these guys.
"Great way to spend your day off, right Kristy?" Kyle asks, reading my mind.
"Sure is," I agree, clinking my beer bottle against his.
"Come on, Kristy," Adam says, moving forward in his seat and pinning me with his warm blue gaze. "You can't let Logan believe you like doing this sort of thing. He'll ask you to help him every second you have spare."
That doesn't sound anywhere near as bad as it probably should, and my smile grows wider. The truth is, I don't want the day to end. I've felt so productive, pitching in and working around the place. And I've liked helping these four guys out. They've made me laugh with their antics and ridiculous conversations. And they've tried to explain things when there are times I could have felt left out of their in-jokes.
I've learned a bit about Logan's friends as the day has progressed. The reason Adam looks familiar to me? He is the host of a radio program on Mercury FM, and I've driven past a billboard of him once or twice. Jamie is a landscaper. He has a girlfriend he's been with for years but hasn't committed to. And Kyle is a mechanic with a great sense of humour and a love of food that rivals my own.
The four men are funny, smart, hot, and nice. I could easily spend more time with them.
And so could Cricket. He's spent much of today running happy circles around Logan's backyard. I worried he would interfere with the work Jamie and Adam were doing at various times, but they never batted an eyelid or complained. Now, Cricket is gnawing on the dog bone Kyle picked up on his expedition to get the beer.
"I wouldn't mind helping out again," I shrug. "I had fun. In fact, it's the best day off I've had in months."
"It is the only day off you've had in months," Logan points out, frowning as he studies me. "And you've spent most of it here, working on my house. I feel really bad right now."
"I enjoyed it," I assure him. "The weather was perfect, and now I'm sitting here with a beer, enjoying music and some excellent company."
A chorus of "aww, shucks" sounds from the guys.
"Didn't you have anything else you wanted to do today?" Adam asks.
"Not really," I admit. "The friends I made at Uni have all been busy since graduating, and my two besties from high school are both busy. One is up for a promotion at the publicity company she works for, and the other is currently in Italy."
The fact Jess is working over there as a model is something I don't want to mention right now. I just can't handle the excitement and interest that statement will generate. There isn't a guy alive who isn't interested in meeting a beautiful model, is there? Especially one as smart and successful as my best friend. When Jess comes home, these guys will be smitten with her. After all, everyone is.
And after Logan's reaction to her picture, I'm dreading introducing him to her. I'd tried to brush off the irritation I felt as he stared at Jess in the photo, but I'm not sure I pulled off anything resembling nonchalance as Logan and I talked about her. As the day has worn on without Logan mentioning Jess or my reaction to his interest in the photo, so maybe I fooled him into thinking I wasn't bothered.
Unfortunately, I haven't fooled myself.
What am I going to do when Jess comes back from Italy? How am I going to handle it when Logan looks at her the same way every other heterosexual guy does? Logan might be my neighbour only, but I'm annoyingly aware of the effect he's had on me recently. He is the first man I've been attracted to in years. I'm not stupid enough to believe someone like him would look twice at someone like me. But seeing him go ga-ga over my best friend would still be painful.
And there is a chance he would go ga-ga. Sure, he's still grieving, but Logan has rediscovered his interest in women, courtesy of his night out with the guys. He is going to take notice of Jess when she returns. They'd be perfect together. Like Barbie and Ken.
Ignoring the sudden ache in my chest, I focus on Jamie's thoughtful expression.
"I guess the four of us are lucky to still be hanging out together all this time after graduation," he says.
"How long ago did you graduate?" I ask.
Kyle nudges me. "Are you trying to find out how old we are? Shame on you, Kristy. Don't you know you're not supposed to ask a man his age?"
Adam chuckles. "We're twenty-nine. But Kyle is a sixteen-year-old stuck in a twenty-nine-year-old's body."
"Shut up, Granger." Kyle makes a rude gesture at Adam and then looks at Logan. "I bought brunch. I'm expecting you to buy us dinner, Jacobs."
"Brunch?" Jamie repeats. "Only dickless men use that word."
Kyle glares at Jamie. "Did you just call me dickless?"
"If the shoe fits..."
"You know I'm packing more heat than all of you put together."
Logan laughs before shooting me an apologetic look. I grin, letting him know I'm not offended by their banter. If anything, it amuses me. And I'm grateful they've included me in their fun and made me part of their group dynamic today. It's been a while since I've felt anything as close to this happy in a long time.
I stare up at the sun setting and sip my beer. Maybe I do need to inject a little more fun into my life. I told Mum I'm happy, but am I really? I'm not unhappy. I work hard so I can achieve my goals. The feeling of fatigue that has hit me lately - sleep deprivation included - is just part and parcel of life. Every day is a grind, but it's the same for almost everyone, even the influencers who pretend every day is awesome. The only way I can combat the grind is by trying harder to focus on things that are fun - like hanging out with my neighbour and his friends.
"Do you like Chinese food, Kristy?" Kyle asks.
"You're always thinking of your stomach," Jamie chides.
"I'm thinking of my favourite baker's stomach."
"Yeah, right," Logan says. Then he looks at me. "Looks like I'm buying dinner tonight. Do you want to stay?"
"Sure." I nod. "Thanks. Do you have plates and stuff here? Because you can come back to my place to eat if you want?"
Logan gives a quick shake of his head. "I don't want to impose this lot on you."
"You need to get some kitchen stuff over here, Jacobs," Adam says. "You don't even have glasses for water here."
"I know. I'm going to start moving stuff over here next week."
"Is the eighteenth still moving day?" Jamie asks.
"Yeah. Though I'm thinking about moving my bed over a bit sooner than that. Or at least dropping a mattress on the floor."
I don't bother asking why. Logan stays late every night. He must be exhausted driving home at that time. I frown, imagining him falling asleep at the wheel.
"You should," I say. "For those nights you're really tired."
"I know. It's becoming damn inconvenient not having my things here. Even stuff like the lack of coat hangers has become an issue this week."
Kyle shrugs. "The place is ready enough to move into. Now that the bedrooms are painted, anyway. You could hire a van as early as next weekend if you wanted to."
"I don't want to fill the place yet. Too much work still needs to be done. I'll start bringing small things over with me, but I don't want all the furniture here yet. It'll just get in the way."
"What are you going to do when you move in here anyway?" Adam asks. "Have you decided whether you're going to stay or sell the house?"
My heart suddenly accelerates as I contemplate Logan selling his place. It never occurred to me before now that he might be doing all this work on the house just to sell it. And yet, it would be a great way for him to make some extra cash, so I suppose I should have. As a young, single guy, he'd have to have taken out a substantial bank loan for this place. Flipping it makes total sense.
I can't bring myself to tell him that, though. I might not exactly be happy about the effect Logan has on me, but I don't want him to leave the neighbourhood. The idea of not seeing Logan or any of his friends again makes me feel restless and a little sad. I've only known him for a short time, but we talk nearly every day.
"Yeah," Jamie says. "What are you going to do with this place?"
"I'm not sure what I want to do with the place yet," Logan says.
"I can't imagine you staying anywhere for any long period," Adam says. "Izzy always said you hated the idea of being still."
Logan nods. "That's because my mother talked her ear off about how I was always on the move. Hell, Izzy saw it herself often enough. But if we'd found a house both of us liked and done it up as we've done this place up, I would have stayed with her for as long as she wanted to."
His voice cracks, and he sounds so wistful that my heart breaks for him.
It's only when I feel four sets of eyes on me that I realize I'm staring at Logan.
"Ah shit," Adam says, his gaze darting back and forth from Logan to me. "I'm sorry, Jacobs. I didn't think when I brought Izzy up."
"Don't worry," Logan shoots Kyle a glare. "She knows about Izzy because Kyle told her last weekend."
I hope Kyle isn't upset with me for telling Logan I know.
"She saw the picture of Izzy," Kyle says defensively. "What should I have told her?"
"I just wish you'd let me know afterwards."
My gaze darts between Logan and Kyle. "I really am sorry for the whole situation."
I squirm, my cheeks feeling hot. For the first time today, I feel as if I don't belong – as though I'm privy to information I have no right to know.
There is a moment of tense silence before Logan breaks it, his gaze finding mine. "It's fine. It's easier now that you know, anyway."
I tilt my head to the side, letting him see my confusion. "Easier?"
"Now I don't have to worry about these dickheads keeping their traps shut if you ever want to help us out again."
I smile, relieved the awkwardness seems to have passed. "I really would like to help out again, if you'll let me."
"Hey, if you're sure you want to, I won't turn down the help."
"You better give us a cut of the profits you make on this place if you decide to sell," Kyle says. "After all the time we've put into helping you."
"Like you have anything better to do," Jamie says to Kyle.
Logan shakes his head. "I'm not planning on rushing my decision."
"You should stay," Adam says, looking at me and winking. "Bet you no other neighbour would bake as well as Kristy."
"True that," Kyle agrees quickly, nudging my shoulder again, causing me to grin.
"So, Kristy," Jamie starts. "Were you genuine when you said we could come back to your place for dinner? Because I wouldn't mind watching the news."
A chorus of agreement sounds from Adam and Kyle, and I frown, unsure why anyone would want to watch the news when it is full of depressing stories.
"I'm sorry," Logan says to me, shaking his head. "They want to hear the footy news."
"Oh, that makes more sense," I reply. "Of course, then. You guys are more than welcome to borrow my television."
"Are you really sure?" Logan asks. "I can't promise they'll leave once you let them in there."
I smile and nod. "It's fine."
What else am I going to do with my Saturday night? Sure, if I was by myself, I'd have a bubble bath, but I can postpone that until tomorrow. Last Saturday, I couldn't stop thinking about Logan while I was in the bath anyway. It might be safer if I don't give myself more bath time in which to fantasize about my neighbour.
"You're the best, Kristy," Kyle says, putting an arm around my shoulder. "I'm not letting Logan sell this place while you're around."
"Best neighbour ever," Adam and Jamie agree.
I stand up. "All right, enough sucking up. Come on."
I lead the way back to my place, listening to the guys discuss football scores and debate whether Logan should order Chinese from Wong's or The Palace.
Spending time with Logan when I'm attracted to him isn't the smartest idea. Especially now that I know about his dead fiancée and the possibility of him moving. But I need some more fun in my life, and Logan and his friends provide that for me.
Heck, I'm already thinking about what I can make for the guys if I help Logan out again next Saturday. I'll just have to be careful to keep the attraction towards him in check.
Even if he has started 'waking up from his coma', I'm not the kind of woman who's going to register on his radar. I'm better off thinking of him as a friend since he's way out of my league. Maybe, if I remember that, I won't be so worried about how he's going to look at Jess when she comes home from Italy in a couple of months.